Cat Superbowl Tragedy

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by TwoCatDoctors, Jun 19, 2012.

  1. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    The Bird Watcher Newspaper
    June 18, 2012

    This newspaper must report a tragedy in light of the Cat Superbowl later this week. Shelby the cat was interviewed today, and tearfully stated:

    "It was horrible. The Angry Birds out front my big picture window were doing aerial fighting practice in preparation for the Tree Trimmers arriving the end of this week, when one of the birds lost control, spun out, and flew into our picture window.

    I sent Mama out and the bird had broken it's neck and was dead. Oh the pain of an Angry Birds team mate gone too young and also right before the big Superbowl. I know I'm feeling the pain as I love the birds. As Mama and I were looking for a shoe box to bury the deceased warrier, the landscapers came along and took the warrier with them. The spirit of that warrier will live on in the Cat Superbowl the end of this week."

    This reporter has discovered that cats have been arriving into the State in record numbers since the weekend to find resorts to soak up the spa services, room services, cat toys and relax before a quick private flight to the Cat Superbowl. Shelby has excluded the papparazzi and humans from the Cat Superbowl. Wait, maybe this newspaper can make a deal with the cat that wears a camera around his neck--here kitty, kitty!!

  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    It's always hard to lose a worthy competitor. I assume the bird's number will be permanently retired. Sylvester and I will be joining the candlelight ceremony tonight, along with all cats of good character.

    Love, Tweety
  3. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    After today's loss of the bird warrier in hitting the picture window during practice, the Angry Birds (that will be versus the Tree Trimmers) want to be outfitted in Helmits and Shoulder Pads for practice AND the upcoming Cat Superbowl. I think the picture on their little jersey shirts will be birds beating the snot out of tree trimmers.

    AND our development is scheduling the Tree Trimmers to start at 5:00 AM either tomorrow or Thursday--so the "establishment" has upped the time of day and the day itself (probably to throw off the Angry Bird warrior team). I'm e-mailing the Cat Nation to advise them of the change in plans.

    I don't know if Chef Gordon Ramsey will enjoy being here at 5:00 AM to cook fresh tuna (from the Wicked Tuna TV bunch) and other foods for us, but since he already committed, he'll have to do it. He'll probably throw a fit and call us a bunch of furry footed princesses and princes, but we who have watched his show have heard it all before.

    Love, Shelby the cat
  4. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Hi, this is Shelby the Cat. Below is the music I am going to pipe outside during the live action of the Cat Superbowl of the Angry Birds vs. the Tree Trimmers because the Superbowl does need music. (Wagner - Ride of the Valkyries)
  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I just saw an article that from now on, any bird suffering head trauma will get a CAT scan to determine whether the injury is serious. If it is, the bird is to immediately take a cat nap. We cats don't want our worthy adversaries, the birds, to get lost to injuries. We want them around so we can spar and have our own games.

    Although it is illegal, there will be heavy betting of catnip during the games. Sylvester and I have our own stash but will not be betting. We may, however, get a little high on it.

    Thanks for the updates.

    Love, Tweety
  6. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    This is Shelby the cat. The tree trimmers' machinery moved in about 7:00 AM and you could hear the birds start loudly squawking big time. But the Tree Trimmers CHANGED THEIR STRATEGY and are ONLY trimming the palm trees and not the regular trees that the birds live in like they usually do.

    The Angry Birds are not accepting the change and are still flying around with aerial assaults (wearing helmits and shoulder pads), and others are hopping mad on the ground shouting obscenities and other insults. This is riveting!!

    I'm piping outside Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" on a repeating loop, so it makes for a most gripping and thrilling Cat Superbowl.

    House is full of cats since 5:00 AM, Chef Gordon Ramsey had several meltdowns, so Momma made him Catnip Tea (yes there is such a thing) and he enjoyed that and he settled down.

    Chef Gordon had another meltdown and is "spitting mad" (a cat reference) so us cats have "suited him up" and sent him out front to fight for the Angry Birds team. And we have turned Wagner's music off so that the Tree Trimmers may hear all that Chef Gordon screams at them. Plus Chef Gordon took tuna and other food in a bag to throw at the Tree Trimmers while screaming at them, so we cats substituted "litter box cookies" for the food in the bag without Chef Gordon realizing. Now this makes for a more fair fight and gives the Angry Birds team another player to make up for the warrier player that died.

    P.S. We have our feline associate "Mr. Murray" standing by to do "CAT scans if needed." He does them regularly on people and I think with Chef Gordon out there throwing litter box cookies, the Tree Trimmers will now be lining up for CAT scans.

    [This Message was Edited on 06/20/2012]
  7. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    This is Shelby the cat---sorry you slept through the Cat Superbowl right outside your own window!! My face would have been pressed against your window, with big eyes. And when I sneezed, your Mom would have called my Mom and said "bring over your huge bottle of Windex and a large cleaning cloth."

    This morning Momma was in bed watching some TV, the sun was breaking through the closed horizontal blinds and the birds were out there flying around and their flying shadows would come through the blinds--my head was bouncing around following those shadows. Even after yesterday's Cat Superbowl here, I still had not gotten enough of those fabulous birds. I love the birds and I am addicted to them. My name is Shelby and I AM a bird addict.
  8. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I belong to bird-anon. Some days are easier than others to resist the urge to feast on those little feathered friends. I try to just ignore them but sometimes, I will wear myself thin, jumping and flipping in the air even though there isn't a chance that I can catch them. Sylvester doesn't seem to have this monkey on his back.

    He's more like Faithy, Heather and Tabeet. Thanks for writing about you and Diane. It's good for us to stick together.

    I've not been good about working the program and doing the 12 steps. Perhaps that's why I've made so little progress.

    Love, Tweety
  9. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    This is Shelby the cat with the latest in bird news:

    Our city has put a ban (and fines) in the parks on feeding of all birds (even finches and those types of birds), ducks, geese, Canadian Geese, Herons, etc. They were a big attraction and getting fed a lot and apparently too many birds were not migrating on to their normal destinations and instead staying here. Plus we are getting overwhelmed with ducks, geese, etc. So they want to have the birds return to their normal patterns of migrating. This will be a tough one for Momma because she likes to go to the park and share her breakfast or lunch with any of the feathered friends that stop by to visit her.

    The Cat Superbowl here was a tremendous success and the Cat Nation loved the food and the live bird action--the birds put forth a tremendous effort against the Tree Trimmers.

    Chef Gordon Ramsey turned out to be the greatest fighter for the Angry Birds team when we suited him up and he was running out front, kicking members of the Tree Trimmers Team (Chef Gordon does play soccer on his off time) and assaulting them with insults about their attitudes, the sloppy way they maintain their equipment, and then launching the litter box cookies (that we switched for the tuna, trout and other food he had in his bag to throw at the Tree Trimmers). We found that even Catnip Tea won't calm Chef Gordon for long. It was a really good time.

    A coyote was seen at our development very early one day this week. This is the first time and bad news because it means they are not finding their "prey food" on the reservation and coming off the reservation. This means the coyote and any pack will be getting cats, kittens, puppies, dogs that people leave outside to go to the bathroom unattended AND without leashes. People think because they are standing there with their animal, it protects their animal, but a coyote is too quick for a human and they snatch a puppy or dog--so it must be on a leash. People think because they have fenced in yards, they are safe, but coyotes are very smart and figure out fences and get animals from the back yard and attack very small children too because they are desparate and hungry.

    I haven't seen the one cat that roams free outside during the day and that looks like my brother and I. I'm hoping everyone hid from the coyote.