Cesar the Cat says NO to Bret Michaels

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by TwoCatDoctors, Jul 21, 2012.

  1. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Hi, this is Cesar the cat. Momma took me to Petsmart and I saw rocker Bret Michaels' latest clothing line for pets. Lots of skulls (really?? but then I'm not a "rocker" cat, and the clerk said his clothing line is really selling) and one outfit was a one piece white tee shirt with attached jeans.

    I told Momma I am NOT wearing pants of any type and particularly Bret Michael's with those "SILVER SPARKLY PIECES" on my butt cheeks--HECK NO. Bret, dude, why did you put sparkly pieces on the butt? I'm getting faint thinking about it and someone call the Cat Fashion Police to help us cats keep our dignity.

    I wear coats similar to James Bond 007 and the ladies love it.
  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Sylvester and I are outdoor kitties and we don't wear duds. Jeff insists that I wear a pink collar and that Sylvester wear a blue collar. How sexist! As if that weren't bad enough, our collars have bells on them to warn prey. Good luck with that! I leave my trophies at Mikie's door for her admiration. Don't think she's that impressed.

    Mikie does have a pair of bootylicious jeans with sparkles on the seat. Nothing too gauche, though.

    I'm with you, brother, when it comes to kitties' wearing demenaing clothing. I do, however, love to see all those humiliated dogs in their hideous outfits. Gives me a laugh! Ha!

    Your friend,
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Good to hear from you. I'm sure you look really cool in your James Bond
    coat. Did you know James Bond is a cat lover? His mansion has pussies galore.

    Mikie, if your pants are not gauche, maybe they are gaucho?

    Tweety, the only clothes I see where I get "de meaning" is those T shirts
    with messages. Saw one the other day.

    "If you won't speak to your kitty about catnip, who will?"

    2Cat, I looked up Cat Fashion Police. It seems they do not recommend
    the A Line. The prefer to go with the feline.

  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    How many puns can one brilliant man fit into a post? How many punsters does it take to change a bulb? I don't know because I'm not that bright. Perhaps you can shine a light on the subject. In any case, you are in a class by yourself. I thank you for the laughs (and groans :)

    BTW, jeans aren't gauchos but they do have sparkles on both pockets and not just the one on the left. So, perhaps they aren't gauche after all (Hint: One has to know a little French for this one).

    Love, Mikie
    [This Message was Edited on 07/22/2012]
  5. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I just love the puns. Cesar is still scratching his head thinking that James Bond has a place filled with zillions of cats!

    I hope you are doing well and always enjoy your posts. Take care.
  6. MicheleK

    MicheleK Member

    We had no idea Bret Michael's had started a clothing line for animals. We are laying here butt naked. Our mom doesn't have a clue. It's so humiliating!
  7. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    This is Cesar the cat. I sleep butt naked too. Don't be humiliated as us cats are gorgous in our birthday suits. But disappear if your Mom brings home the Bret Michaels jeans with the sparkly bits on the butt--NOW THAT IS HUMILIATING.

    I have to wear coats in the winter when I go out with Momma otherwise I shiver and I insist the coats look dignified like James Bond's 007 coats and no clown coats. But I absolutely REFUSE to be dressed up in tee shirts, jeans, and all that other cr*p. Just say NO.

    I think the Cat Nation will probably hold a meeting about all this.

  8. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Sylvester and I think people who dress their kitties in humiliating clothing should have to wear humiliating animal suits or clown suits. Tasteful clothing is OK, especially for bad weather. We'll call a local mtg. of the Cat Nation here to file an official complaint against such kittie guardians. We are beautiful as we are and need no adornment. It's bad enough that we have to wear collars with bells.

    Love, The Tweetster
  9. MicheleK

    MicheleK Member

    We are thinking of writing to Bret to clue the dude in on the fact that us real cats don't wear clothes. Sheesh! He must have us confused with those dogs that will let their owners do anything with them! We are having none of that here in OUR house! How in the world did he think we were going to groom ourselves a dozen times a day in glitter???

    Hrumph! Tigger and Pizon
  10. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Whether he's donating a part of the sales to his charity. Even so, it hardly justifies selling trashy and humiliating clothing for kitties. We are so misunderstood by so many. Are we going to see a "Runway" reality show for kitties next? Or, "Tiaras for Kitties?" Cat Nation Olympics would be so much better. We are known for our outstanding physical and mental abilities. Until next time...

    Tweety and Sylvester
  11. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    As you realize, there has been major rumblings within the Cat Nation over rocker Bret Michaels clothing line with cats chanting "hell no, we won't clothe."

    I have taken Momma's electric scooter and hit the secret button I installed (that Momma doesn't know about) and morphed it into my Battle Cat Fighting Tank. When it morphs, it has a rocket launcher, flame thrower and a spray bottle of water (so I can walk up to those raging humans that just need a spray of water to make them behave).

    Cesar the Cat is at Petsmart right now faking a terrible limp in front of the truck delivering Bret's clothing line to force the truck driver to stop, then cats will swarm and hijack the truck.

    Cesar and I can drive the truck because I work the wheel and I bark orders to Cesar to work the pedals. But I have to watch because I say brake and he brakes, but if I say "gas," he farts. That's a glitch.

    We're driving to Bret Michael's house and wrapping litter box cookies in his clothing line and CATapulting them at Bret's cars, his windows and him when he walks out. AND we're all going to shed all over his property and it will be cat fur everywhere. THIS IS WAR AND WAR IS HELL!!

  12. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    So glad I don't have to wear clothes. With Mikie feeding me cream and shrimp, I've started putting on a little weight around the middle If I were wearing clothes, I'd have to keep getting bigger sizes when they wouldn't adjust anymore. That is a people problem and kitties shouldn't be burdened like this. Fat 'n sassy is what kitties should be.

    Love, Tweeters
  13. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Oh Tweety, it is worse than I thought and it nearly did me in.

    Momma took me to Petsmart today and we passed by Bret Michaels clothing line and Bret not only had the jeans with sparkles on the butt (oh how horrible), but he had a jersey top with a short leather like skirt sewn to it and the skirt had metal studs on it.

    I told Momma that I was not feeling well, my eyes were blurring, and then there was darkness. The clothing line put me in a comma right there in the store aisle.

    Miraculously (of course) I could hear Momma yell out "STAT, go to Jack in the Box and get a Sourdough Jack burger with no mayo sauce--do it RIGHT NOW."

    Momma held the Sourdough Jack burger near my face and my nose twitched like a rabbit, then when she rattled the paper from it (to break off pieces of the burger for me like she always does), I miraculously (of course) came out of my coma and was okay. JACK IN THE BOX CURES TRAUMA FROM BRET MICHAELS CLOTHING LINE.

    I told Momma that she should carry Jack in the Box food with her everywhere just in case I feel faint again.

    I think it was all the human skulls all over Bret Michaels clothing line that has a toxic impact on pets, plus sparkles all over the butt is toxic too.

  14. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I'm so sorry for your bad spell from that horrible clothing. I almost got sick just reading about it. A tough kittie may want a collar with skulls on it but that is where the line is drawn. I think Mikie is considering keeping some frozen shrimp on hand in case I need them for medicinal purposes. We don't have a Jack here.

    All the women in this bldg. are known as aunties: Auntie Barb, Auntie Ilona, Auntie Mikie, etc. Jeff is Sylvester's and my Daddy and he's single so you can imagine the scandal in the Kat Kommunity if I called Mikie, Mom. Even so, she is the closest thing to a Mom that we have. We do have some other aunties in Daddy Jeff's bldg.

    Sylvester hid out in Daddy Jeff's bushes while he was spraying them with a pesticide. He had to have a detox shower in the hose. Now, Sylvester is one laid back kittie and he just endured it. Try giving me a shower and see what happens. Of course, I'm smarter than my brother and would never hide in bushes where toxic pesticide is being sprayed. Sylvester makes up for his dimness by being a fine brother and gentleman kittie. He's also as handsome as I am beautiful.

    Stay away from the BM clothes. They should be banned.

    Love ya, Tweety
  15. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    This is Shelby the cat and I think my brother Cesar went into a coma looking at Bret Michaels pet clothes because Cesar doesn't have that strong "female constitution" that we have. Plus, I think he was trying to get some Jack in the Box "Sourdough Jack" burger. He is such a ham, he should be acting on TV.

    Tweety, please tell Sylvester that from now on, to wear a shower cap when going through the outside bushes. That way Sylvester can keep "the do" purrfect. I love my hairdo and I don't want toxic pesticides or even water on it. I'm glad Sylvester got a shower, but I suggest kitten shampoo over pesticides any day--and pesticides might give split ends (the thought scared my hair/fur)!

    Hi Faithy and Beety. No cat wants to "rock out" in jeans with sparkles on our rumps or wear some stretch top with an attached fake leather mini skirt with metal studs. We can't be "powerful" felines wearing that stuff.

    Yes, I did see the Martha Stewart line of clothes at Petsmart. Some were tropical and dresses.

    Now I think we could convince Martha Stewart to give up pet clothes and with our input create the world's best cat bed--super comfy, super soft, retains some heat, with that catnip smell.

  16. MicheleK

    MicheleK Member

    You gals are Catlarious!
  17. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    The grey cat has been around several times in the last two weeks. He is,
    however, so shy that I can't discuss the issue of clothes for cats with him.

    I looked for some web sites with clothes for cats, but all I found was T shirts
    for people with cat pictures and witty saying. The only one that was actually witty, sad to say, was this:

    Dead or Alive
    Schrodinger's Cat

    So I found quality instead of quantum.

  18. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    As an amatuer student of quantum physics, I just LOVED that.

    I used to own a tee shirt which read, "Does Anal Retentive Have a Hyphen?" Of course, as you know, sometimes it does and sometimes, it doesn't.

    I can't get close enough to Simon, our feral stray, to warn him about BM kittie clothing. Somehow, though, I don't think in his life, it's an issue. Unfortunately for him, he's in the lowest level of Maslov's Heierarchy just trying to stay safe and fed. This leaves no room for a loving hand to stroke his sweet little head. At least, between Jeff and me, he gets fed. He probably hunts too but, unlike with Tweety, he never leaves trophies of his kills at my doorstep.

    I'm sure Tweety will be along soon to take control of the computer but, until then...

    Love, Mikie
  19. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Mikie, I just had to explain to my brother that "BM" meant Bret Michaels and not litter box cookies. My brother went to the vet today and claims he was brainwashed and will be writing about it. He's not the brightest bulb in our household today.
  20. MicheleK

    MicheleK Member

    LOL TwoCatDoctors on the having to explain to your brother what "BM" stood for. LOL