Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Feb 16, 2007.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    a friend sent me this, not sure where she got it so cannot give credit, but they're SOOOOOO true!

    Some more "you know you have CFS when" humor by actual CFSers

    ...You rush to a daughter's concert hall performance after you get off work, that contains a lot of brass and percussion, and fall asleep and snore sitting up until the applause wakes you back up and you've missed her music performance. -- Valerie J Peck

    ...sleep for 36 hours straight. -- Valerie J Peck

    ...burn your nose in the cup of tea/coffee you made to wake up in the morning while sitting at the kitchen table. -- Valerie J Peck

    ...go to work and hear gasps when you take off your coat because you forgot to put on your skirt so you're only wearing a half-slip instead. -- Valerie J Peck

    ...put eyeshadow on one eye only and don't realize it until you're home from work that evening. -- Valerie J Peck

    ...look frantically for your car keys for 3 minutes and find them in your other hand. -- Valerie J Peck

    ...introduce friends at a home decorating type party and they have to correct you as to their real identity. -- Valerie J Peck driving along and suddenly have a "pause" so you have no idea where you are. -- Valerie J Peck longer need pj's because you sleep in your jeans and t-shirt because you're too tired to change. -- Valerie J Peck

    ...enjoy a movie you saw 6 months ago because you have no recollection of having seen it before. -- Valerie J Peck
    (I have done this with audio books lol, as well as regular books, and especially with technical articles and such about CFIDS/FM!!!)

    ...if you had one wish it would be to fall into a coma for 3 months. -- Valerie J Peck takes you six months to figure out and remember what name goes to what face at a new job. -- Valerie J Peck've driven a stick shift all the time and one morning you forget to step on the clutch when you start the car. Hello to back wall of garage and outside door track of garage! -- Valerie J Peck

    ... you can't remember which keys to hit on the keyboard when spelling your name. -- Patricia

    ... you put the Kleenex in the refrigerator and the milk on the table in the den. -- Pamela

    ... you find yourself putting on clothes from the dirty laundry pile that is ALWAYS there. When you were healthy, you dressed classy. Now, you just "dress", and you could pass as a bag lady. -- Roxie

    ... you take a shower and get dressed, your dog gets depressed. She knows you're going out because you're not wearing your pajamas. -- Roxie

    ... you feel like walking to the mailbox, you find yourself wearing whatever you have on and you don't care that you have just walked outside with nothing on but a ratty T-shirt, mismatched socks, and whatever shoes happen to be at the door, even if they're your husband's size 12 dress shoes. -- Roxie

    ... you're just happy you made it to the mailbox and back. -- Roxie

    ... after showering, you have no energy to dry your hair so you go to bed with it wet. After about 4 days of sleeping and rooting around on your hair, you look in the mirror and realize your "bed-hair" is also the latest look on MTV. -- Roxie

    ... Junk mail becomes fascinating reading. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... When writing a letter, you keep glancing at the salutation so you can remember who you're writing to. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... When you're shopping in a department store, you sneak into the fitting rooms for a nap. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... You'll throttle the next person who tells you to try the latest energy-giving herb. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... You're so desperate to feel better you actually try taking cold baths. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... You finally accept the fact that your doctors have no idea what they're talking about. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... You sleep more than your cat does. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... You fall asleep during sex. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... You find that no surface is too uncomfortable to sleep on. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... The most used words in your vocabulary are 'thingo', 'whatsit', 'you know' and 'ummmm'. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... You move so slowly that you get jammed in automatic ticket gates. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... You'll have a shower tomorrow. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... you interpret the phrase 'you're looking well' as an accusation, not a compliment. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... Your idea of 'getting dressed' is to change into another bathrobe. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... All your clothes can easily double as pajamas. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... Finding a clean T-shirt to put on means going through the laundry basket sniffing the armpits of each garment. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... A day of housework is hauling the vacuum cleaner out of the closet. -- Elizabeth Polley

    ... You watch the midday movie over breakfast. -- Elizabeth Polley (orrrr the late-afternoon movie, or even the 8 pm movie!)

    ... The plot of Hogan's Heroes becomes far too complex to follow. -- Elizabeth Polley (can we include Green Acres?)

    ... Instead of replacing your old couch, you just put a bed in the living room. -- Elizabeth Polley have lost the remote control for the TV, but you find it later when taking some frozen vegetables out of the freezer. -- Rich Urmann

    ... there is a big basket at the bottom of the stairs full of stuff waiting to go upstairs. -- David White

    ... it takes you longer to get up the energy to go to the store than the completed task takes you. -- sassyj

    ... you feed your pets, then sit down and try to decide if it is really worthwhile to get up again just to feed yourself. -- Sandy Flake

    ... you cut off all your hair because you're too stinking tired to wash/style it anymore. -- Shyrell Melara

    ... you go to the store to get some cosmetics and write your check out to "Wallpaper" instead of "Wallmart." -- Sheri

    ... to unlock your car, you pull out a garage door opener from your purse, aim it at the key slot on your car door, click away, and then stand there in a stupor, wondering why the door wont open. -- Sheri

    ... you decide that tap water is ok, because the gallon new jug of bottled water is on the floor and it's still full. -- Elsie

    ... you go upstairs to have a bath, only to realize the bathplug is downstairs ... so you decide to have a bath tomorrow instead. -- gossamer

    ... you continue watching Martha Stewart reinvent the brick because the remote is out of the hand grope area. -- Christa

    You keep a list of errands to run then leave the house without it and cannot remember where you started out to go. -- Debe

    You start to paint a little on a day when you can actually stand, then move the ladder with the paint on top and spill half a quart. -- Debe

    You go outside during a home addition and smack your head on the scaffolding. Twice. -- Debe

    You begin to realize that if it were not for your concern for your spouse you would probably skip showering most days. -- Debe

    You give up flossing because it takes too much energy. -- Debe

    You buy an electric toothbrush because brushing takes too much energy and hurts your wrists. -- Debe

    You eat 6 caramel apples in a row because the sugar craving is unsatisfiable. You justify it because it is fruit, after all. -- Debe

    You wear gloves when it is 65 degrees outside. -- Debe

    You only buy shoes that slip on because your hands don't work all the time and you can't tie your shoes. Or bend to. -- Debe

    Your social life ends at 5pm when you go to bed for the evening. -- Debe

    A heating pad is as risque a "tool" as you are up to. -- Debe

    You stop getting massages because they make you tired. -- Debe

    You hear from every crackpot with a far out theory on how to "cure" you. Like drinking your own urine. -- Debe

    You boil the kettle dry three times to get one cup of tea. -- Kathleen

    You read a note, you wrote to your self to pay a bill, and you wonder who the heck is Bill. -- Kathleen

    You call the school twice, to let them know your child is at home sick. -- Kathleen

    You read 100 e-mails from your online support group, then realize your in the trash folder. -- Kathleen

    You feed the dog twice, because she has learned how to trick you into thinking you forgot. -- Kathleen

    You spend so much time in bed reading that the pile of books on the floor beside it doubles for a bedside table. -- Steph

    You write out a check at a store and date it 1978. -- Steph

    You stand at the back door yelling for the dang dog to come inside for its supper, then say to heck with it, turn around and trip over the dog, since it was standing behind you inside the house all along because you forgot to let it out earlier. -- Steph

    Your swimming pool is low on water, you start to fill it that morning, hubby comes home that afternoon to find the backyard flooded. -- Tammy

    You can't remember which kid's name (you gave birth to) is which... and they're almost three years apart! -- Jennifer Paradise

    You walk into a room and then walk out of it again because you don't remember why you were going in there to begin with... This happens several times before you either remember what you want with that room or just say forget it. -- Jennifer Paradise

    You put the full container of baby wipes in the garbage, and the poopie diaper safely on the closet shelf! -- Jennifer Paradise

    When you have to bring one of the kids with you wherever you go, so they can remind you: 1. where you're going, 2. how to get there, 3. how to get home. -- Peggy A

    When your kids toss a coin to decide who goes with mommy "as her other brain." -- Peggy A

    You go to sign a check, and can't remember your name. When you do remember, you can't spell it. -- Peggy A

    [This Message was Edited on 02/16/2007]
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    That's the way it is somedays; too many days.

    I have put my keys in my pocket. Then serched the house for them.

    Told my neighbor that since it was raining, I would have to go back in the house and get an elevator.

    Remembered I needed margarine while I was at the market. Nevertheless, when I got home I didn't have it.

    Got in the car and said, Now stop at the gas station on the way home. But didn't.

    Told friends about the wonderful salad I had made w/ hearts of avocado. Twice!
    I wondered why they looked so confused.

    Put the milk in the cupboard.

    Sealed a letter, put a stamp on it, put on my jacket so I could mail the letter, then spent ten minutes looking for the letter.

    One day I didn't have the energy to fix a sandwich so I ate a whole can of beets for lunch.

    No wonder it takes us so long to get anything done.
  3. karinaxx

    karinaxx New Member

    - i drive with MY car backwards into MY bike, which i did not remember putting there, nor did i realize that i just passed it walking up to the car.

    -i dial a number on my phone and than vorget who i dialed to.

    -there was one more, wait a minute hmn ......ah

    -phone my husband three times, the first time i have two things to say, by the time we are finished with the first,i vorget the second.
    i phone again to tell him i vorget something,now i vorget what it was and feel like a real big idiot.
    third time i remember and manage to get it in time communicated to him!

    thats the state of my brain!!!!
    how many spelling mistakes i made?

  4. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I drove threw Wendy's the other day, paid with exact change then sat there for a minute or more, they opened the window and asked if I needed something else. Real duhhhhh moment because the person at the second window is holing my bag out the window like hellllllooooo.
  5. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    I guess we might as well laugh about our brain fog instead of getting stressed out about it.

    Here are a few of mine:

    I picked up a bag of carrots from the vegetable bin, then while still holding the carrots, asked my husband if he had eaten all the carrots.

    Another time I got some butter out of the fridge, put it on the counter, went back to the fridge and wondered where the butter was.

    We recently had to attend a funeral. I read the obituary again just before we left. I told my husband the service was at the church. We ended up being a few minutes late as the service was at the funeral home! How can I read something and not comprehend what I am reading?!

    Forget what year it is. A couple of years ago, I had to keep checking the calendar for about six months as I couldn't remember the year! Once we were at the bank, and I had to write a check. I tried to ask my husband quietly what year it was. The teller looked at me rather strangely!

    Get groceries and drive away leaving them in the cart! Fortunately, I remember right away and retrieved them!

  6. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    I thought of one, then forgot!

    I headed to work one morning, opened the garage with my key, got to the car door and dropped everything but my gloves on the seat and then realized I didn't have the keys.

    Went back into the house, which I opened with the keys in my hand, went to the kitchen table and realized I had the keys in my hand with my gloves.

    Went back to the garage, opened the unlocked door with they keys I couldn't find, and got in the car.

    I was almost to work (7 miles) when it dawned on me that I couldn't have been standing at my car door inside the "locked" garage without my keys! That's when I got worried!