Choosing Not To Be A Target ...... Emotional Attacks

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by JLH, Mar 18, 2007.

  1. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Choosing Not To Be A Target
    Emotional Attacks

    Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and we take their actions personally. We may ask ourselves what we could have done to compel them to behave or speak that way toward us. It's important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and that it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. When people are overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, they may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as a means of protection or to make themselves feel better. You may be able to shield yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behavior personally. First, however, it is good to cultivate a state of detachment that can provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their behavior isn't as much about you as it is about their need to vent their emotions.

    If you have difficulty remaining unaffected by someone's behavior, take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn't do anything wrong, and you aren't responsible for people's feelings. If you can see that this person is indirectly expressing a need to you-whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard-you may be able to diffuse the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them.

    You cannot control other people's emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness.

    Daily OM
  2. mollystwin

    mollystwin New Member

    Very good advice. I should print this and read it from time to time as a reminder!!
  3. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    Some people just have a need to pass their hurt along.

    Other people HAVE to be right, even when they are wrong and don't know what they are talking about.

    Some people have a need to belittle others in an attempt to feel better than other people.

    Some people are so closed minded that they are offended if you have a different opinion than theirs. They have to get in a debate mode, get nasty, and attack.

    The best thing I've found to do is to remove the audience (me). The offensive person is left talking to him/herself.

    This type of person REQUIRES an audience. I remove the audience. It is kinda' like letting the air out of their balloon.
  4. Shalala

    Shalala New Member

    It is interesting that this happens in nature also. I was watching a special on Gorillas and another on Lions and the smallest or injured are picked on and/or left behind. I think people sense that we are emotionally vulnerable and take advantage of it.