CHRONICALLY ILL WITH TWO SMALL KIDS

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by JAREDKIRI, Mar 27, 2003.

  1. JAREDKIRI

    JAREDKIRI New Member

    IS THERE ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE WHO HAS SMALL CHILDREN AND IS ILL.

    I'VE BEEN SICK FOR 10 YEARS AND HAVE A 5 AND AN 8 YEAR OLD. THINGS ARE SO HARD.

    ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE?

    THANX,

    BRENDA
  2. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    Hi, Brenda, yes, my kids are a bit older now, but at one point I had 3 kids under the age of 5. They are now 13, 9 and 9. The twins have psychiatric problems and my oldest daughter may have FMS. It is a real handful. We just live day to day. My husband is divorcing me because of my health problems and because he can't stand the twins. Hang in there; I don't know why we have been given such tough crosses to bear. I have been sick for almost twenty years.

    Hippo
    [This Message was Edited on 03/28/2003]
  3. LadyCaskey

    LadyCaskey New Member

    Brenda,

    I have had CFIDS/FM for several years now. Benn diagnosed for 4. At that time my children were 2, 6 and 8.
    It took me a long time to figure out how to balance it all in my life, and how to keep their lives as normal as possible.
    Here are a few tricks I have learned.
    When your not feeling well, and need to rest......rent some movies and let them build tents in the living room with sheets and blankets and have a camping/movie night. Get a cooler and put some juice boxes in it and have plenty of snacks. You can veg out on the sofa while they get to have a great time. *NOTE........you get to rest and relax while they have a good time, something different, and they think your the smartest mom in the world for even thinking iy up!
    Also, on days when you feel like doing something, cook. I cook as much as I can and freeze meals so all I have to do is pop it in the oven. Saves a lot of energy when I don't have it to spend!
    Make a game out of chores. I took a chutes and ladders games board and made chores on the squares. they each had chores to do and when they were done, they were able to pull off the chore stickers and place their names in the slot....when they advanced to the end of each week, they got rewarded. This helped a lot with getting things done that I wasn't always able to do.
    Now that mine are older 6, 10 and 12, they are great! They are helpful most of the time, even though I have to request it. They understand my ups and downs, and are not so resentful of it anymore. Not as much as I am anyway!
    Hope this helps,
    Stacie
  4. tandy

    tandy New Member

    I've been ill for 10 years.I have a 6yr old,10 yr old,and a 22 yr old!! So I had my last when I was already fighting this DD~ Its very hard,the kids wanna get out and go!and I just wanna rest for the most part. I like Stacie's idea of the camp night!! My boys LOVE to do that kind of "messin"...I mean playing~ Sounds like the answer for this household! I use my crock pot to prepare alot of our dinners~(makes it so much easier!)
    Its certainly a struggle.......but they're good kids for the most part~Best of luck to you&your kids!!
    Regards,
    Tracey
  5. Madelyn

    Madelyn New Member

    Hi. You're not alone. I've been dealing with this illness for at least 9 years now, (really longer though), and my kids are 17, 15,12, 10, 8, and 3.
    Don't be discouraged. Some days you can only do what's absolutely necessary. That's okay! Keeping yourself as well as possible is far more important for all of you than "getting everything done".
    There are many encouraging posts on this subject. Take a look at them.
    Your kids are old enough to learn household chores. Delegate responsibilities to them. They can help you and each other. They will be better for that training, whether you are ill or not!
    Madelyn
  6. praisingHim

    praisingHim New Member

    I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. It is so hard!!! It is hard not being sick, but the days I am overcome with this horrible fatigue, it is really tough. I have started taking my kids to mothers morning out to just get a little break. Hang in there.
  7. Sara Catherine

    Sara Catherine New Member

    One of the hardest things for me is that i can't be as active as I want to be for my six year old and I don't want to be somone he sees as sick all the time. Somtimes I dont know what to tell him .I don't want him to worry but what do I say if he want6s me to play and I can't.
    It's hard for all us moms hon we feel you.
    Sara
  8. Sara Catherine

    Sara Catherine New Member

    One of the hardest things for me is that i can't be as active as I want to be for my six year old and I don't want to be somone he sees as sick all the time. Somtimes I dont know what to tell him .I don't want him to worry but what do I say if he want6s me to play and I can't.
    It's hard for all us moms hon we feel you.
    Sara
  9. fibrofogqueen01

    fibrofogqueen01 New Member

    Hi Brenda,
    Boy do I know what you are going through I have a 2,4,and 6 yr old.Life gets pretty crazy around here and my husband works 12 hrs a day so it is mainly up to me.I have been diag for a year now but thats plenty of time to know how hard it is.I am 25 and have fibro OA and just found out last week that my hormone levels are off the chart and the doc thinks I am going into severely early menopause.Boy that was great news.Well hang in there and I hope things get better for you. Tanita
  10. jmac

    jmac New Member

    I know exactly how you feel. I have a 7 and 3 year old and I homeschool. There are days they get me up and it is all I can do to throw breakfast on the table and make it to nap time. But we have some good days, too. I am fortunate to have a wonderful husband who takes care of them at night and takes care of dinner some.

    It is hard, and no one who doesn't have to deal with chronic illness really understands. Hang in there. I loved the ideas from the moms posted here. Another one I like is board games and make up stories/tickling in mommy's bed. They think it's a real treat, and I get to stay comfortable and not exert precious energy. And on a good day I make sure we get out and do fun things -- it helps all of us!

  11. lease79

    lease79 New Member

    I have a 5 y.o, a 3 1/2 y.o, a 23 month old & another baby due in three weeks. On top of that we are moving house at the moment & I am having a nasty flare up :(
    Things get pretty chaotic around here at times, but thankfully dh does more than his fair share most of the time ;)

    Lease
  12. cyberamy

    cyberamy New Member

    OMG I know how you feel! I have a 2 1/2 yr old rambuncious sp?
    Little girl woth endless energy and a 6 mo old little baby girl. I feel so tired exhausted and like a worthless mommy alot of the time. I don't like that my 2 yr old has to see mommy hurt or popping pills or just laying around not being "fun". I try hard to play with her while in pain and just don't let her see the tears. I would not be able to do it without the help of my parents and a VERY caring husband who gets up at night at least once to feed baby.
    hugs,
    amy
  13. JAREDKIRI

    JAREDKIRI New Member

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR AWESOME ENCOURAGEMENT! I THINK IN A WAY HAVING THE KIDS HAS KEPT ME ALIVE THIS LONG. I NEED TO GET UP AND FORCE MY BODY TO MOVE.

    DO ANY OF YOU ALL LIVE IN NORTHERN NJ? I'D LOVE TO HAVE A MOMS WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS SUPPORT GROUP.

    LOVE TO ALL,

    BRENDA
  14. JAREDKIRI

    JAREDKIRI New Member

    BE ENCOURAGED TODAY. I THINK SOMETIMES THE KIDS ARE THE ONES THAT KEEP US MOVING AND KEEPS US FROM SINKING INTO DEEPER DEPRESSION.

    DOES ANY OF YOU ALL LIVE IN NORTHERN NJ?

    LOVE,

    BRENDA
  15. smalone

    smalone New Member

    Hey Brenda, I definately know how you feel. I have had CFS for over a year and have 3 kids under the age of 11. I also work full-time as an instructor at a community college. By the end of the week I am bombed. I constantly am sick and run a low-grade temp. I joined the CFS chat and this message board to get support because I know of no one around me that has this dreaded disease and I need some emotional support.

    I noticed no one is hardly ever in the CFS chat room--all us moms need to get in there and chat sometime just for moral support. I can usually get on around 10:00 at night after kids are in bed.

    Hang in there don't give up, we have our kids to live for!

    Sherrie
  16. lin21

    lin21 New Member

    Hi,

    I live in Northern NJ,and I am also a mom of a very spoiled 8 year old. I was just diagnosed in November and I am battling everything these days.
    Hope to hear from you.

    Lin
  17. JAREDKIRI

    JAREDKIRI New Member

    HEY,

    HAVING KIDS AND BEING SICK IS SO ROUGH. I'VE BEEN SICK FOR 10 YEARS AND I'M ONLY 33.

    I GOT SICK ON OUR HONEYMOON, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

    I DO LIVE IN NORTHERN NJ. IF ANYONE LIVES HERE AND NEEDS A EXCELLENT DOCTOR, MINE IS THE BEST. AFTER BEING TO ABOUT 50 DOCTORS OR SO OVER 10 YEARS, SHE IS ONE OF THE ONLY ONES I TRUST BESIDES MY CHIROPRACTOR WHO I SEE DAILY. HE IS KEEPING ME ALIVE BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN SO SICK.

    I ALMOST DIED FROM UNDIAGNOSED LYME DISEASE.

    THINGS ARE A BIT EASIER NOW BECAUSE MY 8 YEAR OLD IS IN SCHOOL ALL DAY AND MY 5 YEAR OLD IS IN PRESCHOOL SOME OF THE DAY. FOR THE FIRST 7 1/2 YEARS BEING SICK LIFE WAS A NIGHTMARE. ALTHOUGH IT IS HARD HAVING KIDS, THEY KEEP YOU GOING AND GIVE YOU SOME REASON TO GET UP AND TRY TO FUNCTION. A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT ARE SICK WITHOUT KIDS GET MUCH MORE DEPRESSED BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE NOTHING TO GET UP FOR.

    I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU ALL AND CHAT. I AM USUALLY IN BED BY 10:00 PM SINCE I HAVE TO GET UP AT 6 AM.

    BUT I COULD CHAT CLOSER TO 8:30 OR 9PM.

    LET ME KNOW IF THAT WORKS.

    LOVE TO ALL,

    BRENDA
  18. lin21

    lin21 New Member

    Hi,

    Please see my post to you.

    Lin
  19. JAREDKIRI

    JAREDKIRI New Member

    HEY LIN,

    WHICH POST ARE YOU REFERRING TO? I SAW THE ONE, DID YOU POST AGAIN AFTER THAT?

    WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU,

    LOVE,

    BRENDA



  20. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    Very interested in reading that you got sick on your honeymoon. I didn't exactly get sick on my honeymoon, but started to decline shortly after the wedding. Within six months after my wedding, I was totally sick. My husband thought I was making it all up. How did your husband take it? Also, this was back in 1983, and I had no clue what was wrong with me for years.

    Hippo

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