church as family

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by LindaW, Feb 16, 2003.

  1. LindaW

    LindaW New Member

    Is it truly possible for the "church" to be your family. It all sounds great, but it seems people in the church who do have their ownfamilies, really forget you when Sundays are over. Holidays are for their families. My relationship with God will not end because of this, but at times it really does hurt. I hang on to the fact that God will never leave me, and that he will give me the strength to go through whatever is there. {he must think I a super women} It has been very difficult moving from the west coast to the east coast.
  2. Scoobsmom

    Scoobsmom New Member

    You are not the only one who feels this to be so true!! My husband and I feel this same pain!! We are "alone" in our walk also!! We have attended this church for nearly 4 years, but have not "connected" as others seem to have. It is a baffling concept..I do not understand it either, and I understand also how you begin to feel frustrated, thinking God must think we are superwomen....it is a lonely road....but...am grateful to see that I am not the only one to see this to be true...I live in Ohio, and told my husband I want to move back to Florida to raise our son, as I have begun to feel it is an Ohio thing....but..I wonder...I send you hugs Linda...and a smile of encouragement, knowing, you dear, are not the only one.....God bless.. Barbara
    [This Message was Edited on 02/17/2003]
  3. Revella

    Revella New Member

    church members don't love each other like God expects us to. We too are having a problem finding a church where we feel welcome and a part of things. We attended a church for about 3 years. My husband was teaching the youth Sunday school class. He is a Baptist minister but has had to quit preaching and/or pastoring due to the fact that he is waiting for a liver transplant. Teaching this class mad him feel needed and useful again. In September, the pastor and a deacon from that church came to our home and told him that he was no longer needed to teach the class. They didn't give him a reason or explanation. Of course as humans we were hurt. That is not the Christian thing for us to do, but like you said your church 'family' should be supportive and caring. It is very sad that you don't see that in churches anymore. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in feeling like 'church families' don't care for each other as they should.
    I still have to work because my job is the health insurance we have and no one else would cover my husband for his liver transplant and/or treatment. So I understand the "superwoman" statement, I have to keep reminding myself that God loves me and the bible says He will not allow to be given more than we can handle.
    I'll pray for you and please pray for us! At least we have something in common besides this DD.
    Revella
  4. stilhere

    stilhere New Member

    First let me introduce myself, I'm Jessica and I live in California. You know you all are right, but there is a church that will meet your needs because that is what God wants. You have to keep the faith in that, and I speak from experience. I moved to Washington State with my 3 sons and met a christian and we started attending his church, it was a small church and it was great, I grew to be a sunday school teacher and work in AWANA, my marriage started to deteriorate soon, (I later found out my husband had a Bipolar Disorder, Manic Depressive, when he took his meds it was ok, but when he didn't :( ), Then I got sick, it took one year to diagnose me with LUPUS SLE, I was in the hospital for 2 months, I had no family up there except for the church, when I was in the hospital my husband and I separated the women's ministry helped with making dinner's for my kids and a couple of families helped with taking care of the kids. When the church seen that even though I was sick I was going to divorce my husband, they took his side, (during a three year marriage we conceived a beautiful daughter), I became worse and the doctor's decided to call my family in California to say I wouldn't make it, the women's ministry decided at that time that they couldn't take care of my kids, first they wanted to send my three boys into foster care and find a home for my daughter, I said no and that I was calling my family, then at the hospital I got a visit from the pastor saying that he was going to speak with the church attorney to see if my husband had any rights so that I wouldn't take my daughter to california....all this was painful, but I still kept the faith that God was in control. I know God does not like divorce but He paved the way for everything, my family came for all my kids, even my daughter, I eventually flew to California and my Lupus is now in remission. All this happened in 2000, I was mistrustful to say the least to go back to the church, I didn't lose my faith or my love of God, but of the church I did, I still kept an open eye out for a church here where we moved and each time someone said they came from church, I asked them where and God directed my family to a wonderful church. We've been attending for 2 months and they have been great. They have a single moms support group, a disability group, wonderful bible studies, (I'm attending one on anger management :) )So far this church has been very loving, from the Pastor, (who is young) to all the staff, they welcome you and hug you, even my three year old daughter loves her class (we have to drag her away to go home :). I'm sorry this is so long, but keep the faith everyone God is great and God is huge, He will provide everything.....

    In Christ Love,
    Jessica
  5. selma

    selma New Member

    Where you are is where you are supposed to be.
    Our Father has made us His children. Some of us don't recognize this fact, so their families are smaller.
    It doesn't matter what church you go to to feel at home.
    Where you are is where you are supposed to be.
    His love is there and here.
    If you allow other people to hurt you, you will be hurt.
    It was /is always hard to understand how adults can believe
    that they are GOD fearing & loving and behave as if it doesn't matter if they are deceptive, deceitful, devious, and disrespectiful of others.
    Love thy Neighbor as Thyself. You know that they don't even like themselves. Forgive us our trespasses As we forgive others that trespass against us.
    We need to forgive them the way that we want to be forgiven.
    I was told recently that we don't get points in Heaven for being in pain.
    I believe that is both emotional as well as physical.
    Be an example to your children of a person who knows how to Love themselves.
    I'm praying for all of you. I pray that you are ready to recieve the Love from your family and GOD. Act as if you are already respected, needed, and a member of the World
    "Church" Family, because you are. You have already affected my life. GOD BLESS YOU.
    Peace, Light, and Love, Selma
    [This Message was Edited on 02/20/2003]
  6. stilhere

    stilhere New Member

    Thank You Selma,
    Beautifully said. I've learned and still am trying to forgive my church family in Washington State, I've written my Pastor and am going through a healing process there :) Thank You and God Bless You
    In Christ Love
    Jessica
  7. LindaW

    LindaW New Member

    thanks for your post-you sure have been through it. Glad to hear that your life is better. We moved from so. ca. toNew England and it has been difficut but I know God sees. ( I met my husband of 20 years at a single parent group at our church in ca} I am just going to hang in there. what i have learned is that people will always let you down and disappoint you, but God is always there.
    Linda.
  8. Revella

    Revella New Member

    that God is there whether we have a "loving church family" or not. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years, in this 30 years,he taught young people, led the music service and then in 1990, he surrendered to the ministry. He pastored 3 different churches before he became disabled with this liver disease which demands a transplant. He got in front of the church and told them what the doctors had said and that he would resign right then if they preferred it, because he knew he would eventually have to resign. They all argued, NO Bro. Dale, we are behind you all the way. So he didn't right then but as things began to get back to him about the fact that he wasn't "earning" his salary, he resigned. I could tell you tale after tale that I've seen in churches through the years that would make you cry. You see most of US are hunting the perfect church and there can never be a perfect church with humans in it, because none of us are. Because we are humans, we take offense to what other people say and do instead of just overlooking them and praying for them like we should. We still have decided where to go permanently but we are going to get regular in church again, or I guess I should say as regular as we can with both of us being sick. Thanks Selma!!!!!! You got my attention.
    Revella