CindyVR... Holidays are tough after a loved one dies

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ksp56, Nov 21, 2006.

  1. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    Cindy,

    I read your post, on the 'what to do list'. I am so very sorry about your mom. Please know that I will be praying for you and your family, and keeping you close in my heart.

    It does become more gentle,after your first year. For me, it is always a bittersweet time. No matter how the years pass. I look back and cherish their memories. Something I could not do in the first years.

    Your mom will be with you in spirit. I truly believe they watch over us at all times..

    God love you Sweetie...

    Gentle Hugs,

    Kim
  2. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    Cindy,

    I lived in Mansfield too! I lived there from kindergarden to my second half of jr. high. We then moved back to Indiana.

    To show my age.. Malabar was the new high school, my jr.high was 'Johnny Appleseed', on Cline maybe?? I turned 50 in June. It shows with the changes I've seen in Mansfield.

    We visit, and always enjoy Malabar Farm, the resturant at the old 'stage coach inn', and Mohican State park.

    I have thought about buying my childhood home, if it were on the market! LOL

    You will be in my prayers as the holidays progress..

    Hugs,

    Kim
  3. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Everyone says that the holidays are rough especially the first year after a loved one dies, and of course they're right.

    This year will be the second for me without my Mom and I'm almost ashamed to say it but I hadn't really put any thought into it until I read this thread.

    Everyone deals with things in the best way that they can, and you'll do the same.

    I must be the strangest 'griever' around. After a few weeks of crying my heart out, I just decided to celebrate her, her life and the blessing that I had her in my life for almost 44 years.

    I think that's helped me tremendously.

    Everything you're going through is understandable, remember that and we'll be thinking of you this holiday season.

    Hugs,

    Nancy B
    [This Message was Edited on 11/21/2006]
  4. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    as this will be really the first Christmas without my dad. He died December 15, 2005...so, really, we did the funeral, my husband and I had Christmas morning in a motel room before going to his daughter's house for the rest of the day.

    But, this year we will be with my mom and family...all of us together except Dad. Too sad to think about right now.

    My prayers are with you this year. Please take very good care of yourself...and give yourself permission to be human, too.

    Hugs,
    Sue
  5. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    Hoping CindyVR sees this.....
  6. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I hope she's ok...

    Hugs,

    Nancy B
  7. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    Nancy, I think the way you have grieved is wonderful. I found it very uplifting.

    My husband, the father of my then 10 year old daughter, took his own life on December 28, 1994. She and I were sitting under the Christmas tree playing a new game when we got the phone call from my step-father. The police notified him as was specified in my husband's note.

    Christmas is still hard for us. Even though the Lord gave me a wonderful caring husband to ease my heart and help to heal my pain, I still miss Billy every year at this time.

    Every year I pray it will be better, but every year it seems about the same. I still miss him and sometimes expect his call even though I know it won't happen.

    I pray for all of you who are missing someone, be it recent or further in the past, during this Season of Joy.

    Hugzz
    Greenbean
  8. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I cannot imagine what you have been through.

    For once, I am speechless. I am sending you both, many gentle hugs, and prayers.

    I am happy you have found love again. Also, I am happy you have memories of 'Billy' that you carry...

    Kim
    [This Message was Edited on 12/04/2006]
  9. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    My heart goes out to you. I pray this Christmas will be a bit easier for you.

    It will be hard for many of us having just lost loved ones, but to lose one to suicide is beyond my comprehension.

    My love and prayers to each of you in this journey of life, the journey that often takes us through dark valleys.

    Love,
    Sue
  10. Cindyvr

    Cindyvr New Member

    I haven't been on for a few days been so busy!! Thank you all for caring!!
    I miss my Mom sssooo much!!
    I think my Mom would have been proud of my sister and me. We made everything she would have made for Thanksgiving! Dad really enjoyed it!!
    Christmas is going to suck big time!
    BUT it's gonna come even if I dont want it no matter what. I still have 5 kids that expect it even if my heart isn't in it. So I am traipsing through just to get to the other side of it all right now. Kinda like on automatic pilot.

    I do believe my Mom is still here. I feel her at their house. I feel her presence around my Dad.
    Cindy
  11. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Thank you.....I still can't help but smile whenever I think of her. Big smiles from the heart right through to the soul.

    And I too am so sorry for what you both went through.

    Hugs,

    Nancy B
  12. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I like your style!!!!!

    And they would be so proud too....it means they meant something in your life, they've touched you and you honor them each and every time you do something like that.

    We all try to touch people in our lives, we just don't get to know how much....I also think that your way is another way to celebrate the lives they lived.

    Hugs,

    Nancy B
  13. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    I am happy you felt your mom was with you and around your dad. She really was! I am sure you will feel her at Christmas time, too.

    Your mom is very proud to have you have a daughter, I am sure. Minute by minute, was the best way to get through life, for me.

    This is something I do, which makes me feel better at the holidays and on my brother's and dad's birthdays, etc. I light a votive and have their pictures with it. For me, light is eternal, as their love and their lives.

    Take care through the holidays, and all other times...

    Hugs,

    Kim
  14. Cindyvr

    Cindyvr New Member

    That sounds so sweet! Mind if I borrow your idea? I think my Dad would love it!!
    CindyVR
  15. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    Oh, please feel free to use the candle/picture idea. I learned of it through someone else!

    Anytime you need to 'talk', post here. I will gladly listen and be here for you.

    Gentle hugs,

    Kim