Clueless Cousin

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mezombie, Aug 22, 2006.

  1. mezombie

    mezombie Member

    I recently saw my cousin for "drinks" (haven't seen him since my father's funeral several years ago). I'm trying to reconnect because I feel I need some understanding from at least some family members in case things get worse with me. I live alone and the future does not look bright.

    So, long story short, he turns to me and says, "I know this is a bad joke, but how are you enjoying your vacation?" (meaning my 17 years of CFS). I know he tends to be a jerk, but I was unprepared for this! I went into my "education" spiel about how bad this really was, how it was a "real" disease, etc., but who knows if he took it in.

    I feel that I need a better come-back to idiotic questions/remarks about the DD from others. Anybody have any ideas?
  2. CarolynAnne

    CarolynAnne New Member

    I would have said "Do you mean my trip to hell?" I dont think enjoy is the right word. Its been one "hell" of a vacation...pain, fatigue, etc... Too bad you could not join me.

    Stay quiet after that, dont say anything and look them straight in the eye. From past experience...they dont know what to say.
  3. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    ...how sad someone's life is, or what low self-esteem someone has, to even make a comment like this...no matter what they choose to think inside their heads, why verbalize it? Just to be hurtful?

    I'm so sorry this happened to you....I doubt your attempt to educate him helped, though, unfortunately.

    You should've asked, "Well are YOU enjoying your 'vacation' from tact, kindness and intelligence???" and then walked out (sticking him with the bar tab, hopefully).

    (((Hugs)))
    Pam
  4. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    your "tee-hee"-ing just cracks me up!

    Punch him in the face and tell him the pain isn't real.
  5. mezombie

    mezombie Member

    ...I really appreciate the support! And I love the snappy comebacks. Carolynanne, I particularly liked yours and may use it someday. Usually I avoid people like him. I've felt the need to try to reconnect with some people, including him, and I guess I learned my lesson--lower your expectations if you choose to do this! There's a reason there hasn't been a connection for a while!

    Unfortunately, we were in a group of family members. Otherwise, I think I may have just "accidently" dumped my drink in his lap...hee hee (or tee hee!) I'm usually pretty good with quick comebacks. Gotta flex those verbal muscles...
  6. Linn3

    Linn3 New Member

    I think I would have told him that things had been going fine for the past 17 years, but after beginning a conversation with him, things were getting pretty miserable pretty quick.
    But maybe the best answer would have been, "Excuse me" and then just get up and walk away. My favorite way to not deal with idiots
  7. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    "Why would you ask such a question of me? It's very hurtful you know, and I promise you I have enough pain already." and left it at that.
  8. blueski31717

    blueski31717 New Member

    I prob. would of answered him, " So how are you enjoying your ignorance." and I would of looked him in the eyes with a straight face raised eyebrows and expected an answer. You could of also sub. ignorance with rudness. either one would of worked. I know because I have used those lines on several occasions lol.
  9. Linn3

    Linn3 New Member

    Yes, a drink on the head would have said it all. LOLOL