Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by CockatooMom, Nov 1, 2006.

  1. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    Well, I'm still hanging on in nursing school. After this week I think we have 6 weeks left. Finals are the week before Christmas. And I have 2 major exams this week.

    Some of you are aware of the problems I've been having with my husband (look at some of my previous posts if you want). Well, Sunday he told me he wants to come and go and do as he pleases without having anyone to answer to.

    So I said, do you mean you want a divorce? He said YES. Rationally I understand that this was enevitable, and I see that we have nothing in common and our lives are headed in different directions, but I'm having a hard time letting go.

    Fortunately, I have the daily reader, "The Language of Letting Go" by Melodie Beattie. I am in counseling, and have the moral support of a few close friends. I am also going to check into a divorce support group that I heard about.

    But, I'm just devastated. At first he wanted us to live as room-mates and he'd continue to support me as I finish school, financially and all. But in the cycle of greif, I have had a few anger moments, and cried for 3 days in a row because of denial.

    Now he thinks I would be better off if I moved out. But with my health issues, school stress, and now this....there is NO WAY possible I can work too!

    So I asked him wher I am to go, what am I to do? I don't have time to even look for a place to live. He promised me he would support me completely until I graduate, pass my NCLEX exam for the state, and get my second paycheck.

    I told him if he wants me out, then he's going to have to help me look for a place. He went and got a newspaper and found 2 ad's for roomates. The one didn't work out, but I see the other place on Saturday at 4PM. I really hope this one will work.

    I've been praying so hard, and doors seem to be opening.

    Thanks for letting me share my troubles with you. You all are always there for me when I need you.


  2. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Why should you move out when he's the one wanting a divorce???

    Make him move out,and keep paying for your place and then get legal help. He owes you!!


    Nancy B
  3. leubie

    leubie New Member

    hi----i know we are not aquainted---------read your post and just wanted to let you know that i am cheering for you--------i wish you all the best----------i will keep you in my prayers------------YOU ARE NOT ALONE----------NOT EVER-----------NOT HERE-------------just post and i will post back----------------love to you and to all--------laura
  4. emttoni

    emttoni New Member

    But was afraid with how Im feeling this week that it would comeout wrong. Why should you have to moce out if he wants a divorce? I believe that if you move out then he can come bvack at you with abandonment issues in the divorce??? Maybe someone else can help you on this question.

    The abandonment issue is one a friend on ours is going thru now. She wanted a divorce and he said no. She said for him to move out, he said no. So now his atty. is getting lower alimony payments cause she moved out and bought her own house and got a VERY good job.

    Gentle hugs to you.

  5. 1faith

    1faith New Member

    I second brooksiemom's advice!!!
    Have you seen an attorney about protecting yourself? If not-do it NOW.
  6. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I am so sorry to .I knew you were having some problems but did not relize it was to this point.
    You are in my prayer and thoughts.I can not tell you I understand because I personally have never gone threw a devorce I have been married 33 years. My husband is from a split home and I did watch his mother go threw a terrible devorce.

    Just remember God loves you and is always with you.I think your husband has more problems then he can face to improve his life right now. Do not let him drag you down.Keep your eyes on the prize like they say and take care of you.
    Who knows why any of us go threw things in life ? I do know you will survive and if you stick to your schooling and take care of you ,All will work out with time.

    You are in my prayers friend .Hold your head up high.
  7. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    I haven't seen an attorney yet, and I would need "Legal Aid" since I have no income at all.

    There is a waiting list at the one facility of 6 months and the other facility doesn't handle divorce at all. I will figure something out, like making him pay for my attorney fees! LOL

    This isn't going to be a "nasty" divorce, but I still want to protect myself by getting everything in writing!

    Today he told me that he's going to go live at his Mom's. This way I can find a nicer place to live with no room-mates because he will be able to financially support me...completely. Our lease is up December 15th too.

    We're in a 3 BR house that is too much for me to keep after. And I'd rather not stay here for various reasons, like 6 years of history, lawn care, but mostly because I think the carpet has mold under it. The land lord is in the process of drying out the crawl space.

    Like I said, I KNEW this was enevitable, but I'm still shocked that it's happening now. ANd I'm having a hard time letting go of him. Am still very emotional, angry, crying, and all.

    Well, back to the books for that Nursing Exam tomorrow!
    Thanks again for the replies and prayers!


  8. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    I appreciate that!

    And Yes... it seems I AM ALWAYS taking exams!

  9. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I wanted you to check into the mold thing if that is there that could have caused some of your health problems.
    Your landlord may owe you something if its his fault it wasnt taken care of.Did you report it to him before?

    I know you have alot going on I just want to let you know I'm still praying for you.
  10. fairydust39

    fairydust39 New Member

    Hi Erayna,
    I'm so sorry that you have to go though this heartache. I too got a divorce from my 1st husband and we had 4 children. I raised them alone with God's help. I found my true love later in life and I'm very happy with him. You will find the right one in the future! I will remember you in prayer!
    Hugs Shirley
  11. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    So sorry to hear that you are going through difficult times. Just wanted you to know that I will say a prayer for you and I wish you the best of luck with your nursing exams. I don't know if you remember that we share the same birthday-I am hoping for you that by the time our next birthday comes around, you are in a better place with difficult times behind you. I think you have a bright future! Take care, Kim :)

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