Cognitive Thinking and Depression??

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by contessa, Aug 15, 2003.

  1. contessa

    contessa New Member

    Just being in the same room with this PHD was enough to make me depressed. I suffer from the anxiety, panic, agoraphobic end of the scale and my records showed that. Also have ADD. I bore easily. Asked about friends, told him email only-no visiting. Looked like I was Frankenstein or something. Rushed through that friends live far away, reminded him I can't drive because of migraine and blackouts, no patience to sit through visiting, etc. Don't think he even paid attention to me. Did he make notes that I answered all the questions with my eyes closed and my hands over them because the office was too bright and it hurt my eyes a lot. Wound up with a migraine from the visit. And he had those squishy leather couches that look like the private end of an elephant. I got lost sitting on it and dragged myself to the edge. I was tempted to get up and agitate but knew I would have accidentally (??) hit him when I started moving-at 6' I take up a lot private space. Did anyone actually get a copy of their report-my SSD form says they will not issue one to me but will to my doctor's if I want. I certainly don't want the good doc's I'm seeing to be influenced my this creeps personal/professional opinion. As usually, just when I hit an equalibrium I can live with in comfort, someone has has to question me about again. I hope he read my file throughly, he'd find out what a tough little survivor I am of child abuse, that I can solve my own problems and when I really break apart their is truly a reason behind it, not something I made up. And that I live with a guilt complex that my parents left me that I have always had to deal with. This guy made me feel like a criminal-and I have to remember I can't allow him to do that to me. I guess he's the first person to push me over the edge in a year. Gotto go climb back up from the bottom. I have company coming on tuesday (hear that doctor??) Did someone mention they had to do this more than once?? What else should I be expecting during this process-they already have well documented records from my own specialists, one for each symptom I have.
  2. contessa

    contessa New Member

    Will take your advice..damn the enemy, full speed ahead (or something like that!!)