coming to terms

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lja, Oct 23, 2002.

  1. lja

    lja New Member

    i've been dealing with my illness and have finally come to terms with it. i'm having a hard time with the guilt of not being able to work. i've always worked to contribute to the household. i'm looking for someone who can relate and that i can "lean on" when needed. thanks!
  2. lja

    lja New Member

    i've been dealing with my illness and have finally come to terms with it. i'm having a hard time with the guilt of not being able to work. i've always worked to contribute to the household. i'm looking for someone who can relate and that i can "lean on" when needed. thanks!
  3. Fairyeyes

    Fairyeyes New Member

    I used to work close to 50 hours a week. then I went down to 30. Now my boss has cut my hours to about 20. It feels crummy knowing how tight it is around our house without as much moolah coming in.

    On the other hand, if my dear husband would quit smoking, we'd be about $130 richer at months end. I don't even splurge on an outfit from the thrift store anymore, because I hate to bring it up if I need anything(right now I am out of vitamin E and B complex). somehow, hubby keeps on having little shopaholic binges though, so if he knows what's good for him, he won't complain about me bringing home less $$$.

    It is hard, and I wish I felt well enough to take on a second job, but I know it would only last a week tops, and then I'd be in bed with a flare, and missing time from my usual.

    I wish I had some answers for you. Instead I'll offer support when you need it. Just call my name!

    peace- Fairyeyes
  4. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Hi, welcome to the board. I think we all go through the 'guilt' stage. I had my own business, but these days I am lucky if I can cook a whole meal!

    I lost the guilt a long time ago (have had fibro for over 20 years), it is not my fault that I have this illness, therefore I have no reason to feel guilty about it or what it stops me from doing.

    My husband works, and I stay home, at one time this was the way the world worked, but today most women feel they should contribute to the finances. I don't feel this way, but to each his own.

    You will meet some fine, caring people on this board, and I am sure you will make a lot of friends too.

    Shalom, Shirl
  5. s43

    s43 New Member

    I KNOW HOW U FEEL.I HAD TO FINISH 2 YEARS AGO AND STILL FEEL GUILTY.I GET ANGRY WITH MYSELF BECAUSE MY CHILDREN ARE GROWN UP,22,19 AND 12,SO I FEEL THEY DONT NEED ME ANYMORE,YOU MISS THE COMPANY MORE THAN ANYTHING.BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY YOUR HEALTH COMES BEFORE WORK,WHO KNOWS MAYBE 1 DAY THEY WILL COME UP WITH A MED THAT CONTROLS THIS DD AND WE CAN GO BACK INTO SOCIETY.TAKE CARE NO DOUBT YOUR FAMILY DONT THINK ANY LESS OF U.SHARON
  6. stillafreemind

    stillafreemind New Member

    I miss bringing home a paycheck to help contribute. But the Lord has blessed me with the most wonderful husband..he LOVES me being home. I still have guilt once in a while when I do not get some things done around here like I want/should..but heck, I long ago learned..there IS another day coming..and heck .. I just might feel a little better when it gets here!

    Seriously .. I do think it takes time to adjust our mind set back to being able to stay home with no guilt. I really like staying home..will like it even better when these dds get under control or cured!

    Hang in there girl...it all takes time.
  7. kay

    kay New Member

    feel guilty. I worked at childrens hospital and loved it. I ran a full crew and worked a double sometimes. The stress was way tooo much, so I had to give it up. From there I went to the federal building and federal court house and like a dummy I was back in management. Wrong!!! So now here I am not working and hating it, I told my doctor, how I felt not working and he said---- if you were i 9-11 and broke your leg, would you feel quilty? So all-n-all this isn't our fault neither. We all go through some guilt, and I am getting better also about it! My hubby is great and of course says dont worry, Woman thing ha!!! OOP!! didn't mean to write a book. Toodles, Linda
  8. Scoobsmom

    Scoobsmom New Member

    Hi and welcome. I have been trying for several weeks to get back into a part time job. Today I am down and out with the pain and a really bad cold, I am exhausted. I told my husband I just feel so guilty about not having extra money for the little things, funny how we all seem to go through this stage. I am trusting it will pass, because with as horrible as I feel today, I could care less about the "little things". He is a big support and totally understands that I miss working and especially the social end of it.. gets kinda lonely... You will find lots of support here, sometimes just knowing others feel like this too. I was so up yesterday and then, whammo, I'm down for another round. I see you moved from Ohio to Florida. Opposite here, moved from W Palm Beach to Cleveland Oh area, boy do I miss the weather.... send me some sunshine.... Hugs to you and welcome!!! BARB
  9. Hidn

    Hidn New Member

    Lia, I have been unemployed since last July, after 11 days in the hosp. I too have always worked, had a great career that I loved, and all that is gone. The guilt I felt was TERRIBLE!
    But you know what? It is not our fault we got this DD.Since I joined this board, I have learned that. If given our druthers we would not choose to be sick all the time.
    I know I cant make you get over the guilt, but we all here have been or are going thru it, so welcome aboard. At least you have found a place where you will be understood. I have found the people here to be so wonderful, wether I am venting or asking a question, there is always a response, and lots of kindness :)
    Hang in there
    Denise
  10. lja

    lja New Member

    thanks denise for replying. you are right, our health is first. i've worked in the medical office field for 20+ years and considered myself very organized and efficient. now, i feel useless. everyone is right. it is a big set back to deal. just another pathway of life to get used to. i'll be sure and keep your name close by for those "moments" when you need someone's ear! take care,
    laura
  11. lja

    lja New Member

    hi fairyeyes...how true! even though my husband says not to worry, we'll be fine - he makes comments like "well, so much for painting the inside, so much for replacing the carpet", etc. i know i have an adjustment to make and i really like staying home too. i'm the old fashioned gal who wants to stay home and take care of the house and hubby. i sure didn't plan on it happening this way. took me all day just about to get out of my pj's. then i dusted and vacuumed and i'm hurtin and wiped out. hope i feel ok tomorrow. supposed to go shopping with my mom! thanks for replying and take care - laura
  12. GoDaleJr

    GoDaleJr New Member

    I am single and live alone out in the country. my family does not live close nor do any of my friends who still care about me. thank god for those of you who have husbands who can support you financially. I am lucky enough to have a roommate/domestic partner so I can have health insurance. but that is it. my disability ended and now i am fighting back. but with no income.
    just realize that there are some of us out here who are always worse off than you are and your troubles won't seem so big.