Commitment To Wellness

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Mikie, Jan 18, 2003.

  1. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I believe that many of us want to heal but have a hard time when it comes to making decisions on a day-to-day basis. Fighting our illnesses requires a true commitment from the heart and mind, as well as the body.

    When we make a true commitment to wellness, it means that everything we think, say, and do MUST be consistent with that goal. Most people never make that level of commitment, but it is necessary if we want to heal.

    Most people try to keep one foot in wellness and one foot in unhealthy habits and still expect healing to occur. This is impossible. If we continue using things like caffeine, tobacco, and sugar, healing cannot occur. It is impossible to be commited to wellness and do unhealthy things to our bodies at the same time.

    If we try, this produces cognitive dissonance, which, in turn, causes anxiety and stress. In other words, if we only "talk the talk" and don't "walk the walk," we will not heal. Not only will we not heal, but we will get worse because at some level, the truth that we are not commited to our own wellness will take its toll on our self-esteem.

    None of us is perfect and we all slip from the straight and narrow path we must walk toward better health. It isn't whether we slip from time to time that matters; it's wheather we are being truthful to ourselves about commiting to wellness.

    I read so many posts where people say they can't give up certain things or people who believe they are entitled to continue abusing their bodies because they have so much to deal with with their illnesses. This is just a way of saying that they aren't serious about wellness.

    If it takes signing a contract to get rid of unhealthy habits, which, by the way, includes stress-causing factors, that's what we should do. Putting it in writing takes it to another level and makes it more real. It means that before lighting up or eating junk food, we have to ask if this is consistent with our contract. If not, out it goes. It's really that simple, but it's still not easy.

    My heart and prayers go out to everyone who is struggling to give up unhealthy things and replace that behavior with healthy habits. It cannot be done without commitment. There are those who have reached a kind of acceptance that they are content to stay where they are and continue with an unhealthy habit. I'm not judging or saying that is bad in any way. I'm just saying that we do need to be truthful to ourselves and if we do want to heal, we need to take the steps necessary toward that healing.

    Love, Mikie
  2. jaster45

    jaster45 New Member

    Thank you for sharing this information.I am quite convinced this will help so many of the suffering individuals here.

    Thanks again,
  3. Cactuslil

    Cactuslil New Member

    Mikie as you know philosophy and theology are dear studies of mine for years. You are so correct. Even the positive statement of a situation can make a tremendous difference.

    When I landed here three years ago Septemberish I was so self-absorbed in my personal pain, up-chucking, bowel problems, CactusLil' was not to be found. Will and I talked about this phenomenom last night ie. one can be in such pain, physical, mental or both, that your "self", "ego" has succumbed to the uncertainty of all the symptoms no one seems to know what to do with...and if you were relatively "well" and this comes from the blue, it is tough for a while as you approach one problem at a time and laying it to rest through treatment or symptom relief.

    I have now truly been on the "road to wellville" probably most of the last two years; all in all I am stabalizing. I face major dental/oral/maxillogacial surgery as soon as I can figure out where I am going to get a couple of grand but none the less I was blessed with dense maxillary/mandible joints that could sustain a titanium pin without any bone grafting! But as this is a half to and I am on SSI presently living off $557., I fear the lessor of treatment plans offered is surgical extraction of remaining lower teeth and immediate placement of traditional dentures; and I don't even have a $ on that! So I am looking at a chunk of dinero for me; but I am going to try like everything to go for the titanium pins and overlays...I want wellness. This latter procedure would be like heaven after wearing dentures for five years and a partial the same on the lower.....but I'm not down now. I know my attitude had a role in the health of my bones.

    My doc and I are on a trek to wellness. What may be wellness for me may be Hell for someone else; Having a precious 10 year old son helps me stay focused although as a;;. I have my downs as I have a serious depressive condition begining at age 13. The docs here are managing here as best they can all thingsd considered. Treating my anxiety as I requested has done more good than all the SSRI's I think I have taken. Just figuring out that I was have a rare reaction to SSRI's and had been for years resulting in my no longer having dystonia! My vocal chords no longer have tremolo/vibrato at their will! My hands and head no long boble and tremble. ROAD TO WELLVILLE.

    Anhedonia. Death sentence of psychiatry. The loss of the ability to experience pleasure. Well, no dance around the golden calf for this old rebel rouser!.....I investigated and found blips about treatment of anhedonia w/Provigil. I hhave been on it about six months and now I can laugh, groom my dogs soom, play music w/my son and today even asked my ex-husband if I could possible play some original stuff at "Reileys", an old waterhole between Greune and Hunter Texas, with him some Sunday evening. Let Wiliam, our son play with us, he said that would be fine. ROAD TO WELLNESS.

    Yes I have had to learn to rest when my body says rest and I use a cane 100% of the time but I am trying hard to keep that range of motion and this Monday I even started teaching my son how to two-step! We had a blast, even our wickecked (joke) daughter/sister and I danced together. I haven't dance in atleast 8 years. On the Road to Wellville.

    Thank Mikie. It is a good point to make and there are times I lie in bed just visualizing life as it could be; and with, for me anyway, the grace of the Savior, I have Hope for a better tomorrow. Love Cactus.
  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    What a beautiful post and sooooo good to hear that you are able to experience some happiness in your life, which I know has been a real challenge. I know that your faith and optimism, along with your desire to heal, have made all the difference.

    The point you made about what is wellness for you might not be for another is so true. I have always known you to be so thankful for every little blessing in your life as well as your big blessings. You are a great example for everyone.

    Many of our newer members may not be familiar with your story, but what it boils down to is that "You can't keep a good woman down!" Bless you.

    Love, Mikie
  5. Annette2

    Annette2 New Member

    I really needed to read this today! I think we all have to deal with this DD on a day-to-day basis, one step at a time. Today I was out with some people, and desserts were offered. I was so proud of myself - I declined! It made me feel so good! Taking care of ourselves is certainly a full-time job. I get discouraged a lot, and thanks to people here I can usually get re-motivated. After reading some posts yesterday, I made a conscious decision to work harder at taking care of myself. THANK YOU all for being here!!!!

  6. selma

    selma New Member

    Somehow chocolates. OK, I'll put in writing.
    Wish you weren't sooo right. Love, Selma
  7. PaulMark

    PaulMark New Member

    DEar Mikie et al: This topic brings up a post i made sometime ago "revisit main streamers vs. natupaths

    AS i've said Cheney is my CFIDS dr. i was dx in ll/98 and frankly i'm sicker and bedridden and my pain from many immune disregulation symptoms that are very bizarre well i guess all of our "pains" are bizzare is a l2 on scale of l to l0, like many of you.

    Dr. Cheney is and MD phd a smart dr. no doubt and prefers the use of natural things when warranted but also uses medications.

    i'm on l mg. klonopin bedtime, 300 mg. neurontin, 3 small drops doxepin elixicir sub linqual to sleep and he prescribed the l00 mg. neurtonin 3 times a day i've always just taken 2, it doesn't help some of my immune overactivation flu like problmes anyways, but i've tried over and over to back off this low dose medication and i can't sleep and at least neurontin helps my "nerves"

    The post by choclat kind of is what has been eating at me before she ever posted it, and i'm repeating myself from earlier post but i think it's worth reiterating,

    I read bruce fife's (N.D.) The healing crisis he is a purist no doubt, he hates meds says ALL are toxic,

    I know some are much more toxic than others,
    MADWOLF good ? for you in this post Fife says all drugs leave toxic residues in the body for yrs. and he pretty much concludes you can't reach a "healing crisis vs. a disease crisis unless you nix all meds along with the obvious things mikie is saying.

    I never hardly took an aspirin when i was not sick prior to 5 yrs. ago , now i must and it bothers me BUT what does one do in the situation with many of us who take meds. for some sleep and to exist period.

    AS FAR AS THAT Goes supplements says stephen bauer in his jucing book (forword by BErnard Jensen MD) The juicing book,
    says vitamins supplements are still in organic and syntethic

    this is true, so that raises another issue many of our CFS/fms bodies can't break down a lot of supplments,

    One thing I"ve learned from my experience with my DR. is he tends to recommend too many things at once ie mostly supplments and i just don't think my body is in a state to process all of this synthetic stuff, I prefer food sources, but another catch 22 many of us deal with food allergies and this limits us and raises another queistion what's worse suffering more nutritionally or avoiding mild or moderate rated delayed onset or immediate reactive foods?

    I GUESS it is not the GARDEN of Eden,

    IF $$ were not a concern for many of us i think as far as supplments etc. we all would prefer to use all organic foods, juices, food source supps.

    But i live in west. KY and most stores don't even carry organic stuff, it's not like CA with long growing seasons



  8. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    My pain specialist does much study on
    FM/CFS and other pain causing illnesses; attends all the appropriate seminars, takes classes,
    actually READS the latest studies, checks into theories like Mycoplasms
    etc.. He is well admired in our area.
    He knows I had tried just about every
    "natural" therapy out there from
    Chiropractic to herbs and supplements from there and back. He knew also that I had never had ANY relief or
    fleeting success with all of it. I had dealt with the pain when nothing
    worked and gave in to the Ibuprofen,
    Vioxx, NSAIDS useless stomach eating
    poisons until I developed an ulcer.
    I never got off on having pain or
    whispering it into every ear that passed. I eventually reached a point
    where the pain was SO severe and SO
    disabling that I gave UP. A "last
    chance" visit to the doctor that finally treated me for the symptoms
    and then sent me to my pain specialist gave me hope for the first
    time in many many years. I think we
    all obsess about our problems, whether it's in doing a very regimented "natural" path or those of
    us who do the exercising we can, do
    heat and ice, meditation, relaxation
    etc.. If it works for us we want to
    share it again and again for the benefit of those who come and are
    still seeking relief. The remark about the supplements and vitamins
    being in a form that was not intended for humans to digest properly is right. But if it works for someone I'm all for it. It didn't work for
    me. I DO use the pain killers and if
    that's "masking" the problem, so be it. After years of things that did not do anything but drain my thin
    purse and cause me let down after
    let down..I am just grateful that I
    have a physician who is willing to
    treat my pain. Noone knows the cure
    for this bunch of DD's and we are all
    drastically different in what we can
    tolerate and what we can't. If I can
    keep from becoming bedridden, have
    some degree of clarity in thinking,
    avoid suicidal depressions and can function with the pain killers, that's what I'll do. If they come
    up with a for sure cure I'll be in
    line to get some, but it will have to
    be a 100% tested, approved, guaranteed cure first. I don't hear
    anyone saying that they feel better
    than I do no matter what route they
    are taking in their treatments. My
    doctor said to stay away from all the
    supplements, he has NO faith in them
    and he has researched them, the results and even for a time had a
    few patients trying them. He gave me
    a long explanation, which no way can I remember to put down here, on why he has NO faith in the antibiotic treatments and why he thinks it in
    fact causes serious long term bad
    effects on people. He may be right and he may not, but in the meantime
    he keeps me wanting to live in spite
    of the flares that defeat even pain
    medications, he CARES and he's compassionate. He advocates a good
    diet, avoiding the fake sweetners,
    caffine to a minimum, don't smoke,
    range of motion exercises, moving,
    heat and ice, water therapy and he's
    done more for my peace of mind and
    body than any of a mirade of doctors
    I saw over many years. I don't think
    I'm lazy or whatever other accusations were mentioned. I simply
    do the best I can after trying every
    thing that popped up as the new and
    WONDERFUL approaches..including a few
    outright snake oil salesmen's products. I say good luck to anyone
    who tries anything and if it works
    for you hurrah! I think those of us
    who have been down the road I have
    and have decided that treating the
    symptoms is the best route for our
    individual situations should be afforded the same respect. Or as they
    used to say in my youth, Different
    Strokes for Different Folks. And a
    small P.S. we do NOT feel euphoric
    or "high" or whatever some who need
    to do a little reading on latest
    pain control with pain medications seem to think. Hugs, Bambi
  9. Fibromiester

    Fibromiester New Member

    ....just want to Thank You All for your very good posts... many different ideas to consider...Thought Provoking! Fibromiester
  10. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Very good advice, and lots of confort for those who need it.

    As for Bambi, your doctor is quite wrong about supplements. I have been to doctors, many of them in 20 plus years, and have got very little help as for as meds are concerned. They did me more harm than good.

    As to his/her attitude on supplements, he is out of the ball park! If it were not for supplements, I would not be here right now, and a whole lot of others I am sure can attest to this one.

    I will say that buying cheap, grocery store brand supplements are for the most part a waste of money. If you want the best, then you simply to need to pay the price.

    Like everything else, you get what you pay for. I take supplements, herbs, vitamins etc. but I buy them from Pro Health, and other companies that are reputable.

    Our food supplies today leave much to be desired, and I am no junk food eater. Even buying from Farmers Markets is questionable as they use sprays etc, that is killing the vitamin/mineral content of our food, not to mention the soil it is grown in.

    To supplement your food today is a must, if not, then you are missing a whole lot of what your body needs to be well nourished.

    And those who need to take meds, well there are a lot of meds out there that deplete the body of a whole lot of very same nourishment that it needs also.

    I have no problem with people who need meds to function, but don't knock alternative medicine.

    I know that Mikie did not intend for her post to start a war against alternative medication.

    It is surely ashame that insurance does not cover supplements, as they are as important, and necessary as some meds are. Not to mention that they are preventive in many cases.

    Shalom, Shirl

  11. Fibromiester

    Fibromiester New Member

    I'm sorry, but..."look up 'Munchausen' and see if some of the criterion fits"...Was a little out of line. I did look it up, and I was shocked at the very thought! Maybe I'm naive or something, but after I read the description, I was very insulted...after reading MOST of the posts here that were really good and interesting to think about. Fibromiester
  12. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    I for the first time since starting smoking, that I have made a real real commitment to quit. You are so right about when not making a real commitment that it messes with the self esteem, head. I appreciate your thoughts, well wishes mikie that people here with these bad habits, find a way. I think you gave beautiful advice on the topic. I plan on writing down ways to quit, ways to handle the crave of the cigerette, keep focused, etc... Like that.

    I found wonderful stuff to help me attain the goal on the Zyban site, if anyone is interested.

    I do not have the money to buy supplements like others do here. I am on a limited income, and what is covered on my insurance is the meds out there that are proven to work. I wish supplements were covered, but they aint--I do the best I can with what I got. If pain meds help me to bring more quality to my life, well, uhh thats the way it is. My choice. If supplements that others take, that work for them, and that they can afford great!

    I think there is a way for everyone, their own paths. What may work for one, may not for another. I think that has been said many times now.

    If someone does not succeed on breaking a bad habit, they are no less of a person either. No one is perfect, I hope that they keep trying and attain the goals they set out to do. Perhaps they are just not at that stage of their lives yet. I been there done that many times too.

    Nothing more to say.


  13. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    What is most important to me right now is the smoking issue. I have asthma, bronchitis constantly and quitting smoking is the highest on the list. Diet and exercise is right below it.

    So what I am saying really is that at this stage in my life, I am not ready for the exercise and diet, but will be soon as I quit smoking. I will not set myself up for failure once again, taking it one goal at a time, starting with the most important. I done been there done that with trying it all at once, then its a let down when it all falls though.

    I hope you will still be here when the time comes for the exercise. :) Then you can lead me to the water, and hey I will most likely drink.

  14. klutzo

    klutzo New Member

    Very interesting discussion.
    Nobody can get enough Vitamin E just from food. You can argue about the others, but that one is an undisputed fact.

    I hate smoking, drinking, etc., BUT, I don't think these are the things that really determine the value we have in this life. I don't want to know if you smoke...I want to know how you treat others, especially animals and kids, and I want to know if you do volunteer work, and do you donate to charity, yes, even if you are on disability like I am, or spend all your cash on new outfits you don't need, and spend all your time at the mall.
    I think many people under the age of about 55 are crippled, but not physically. Many of us were spoiled rotten by our depression era parents, who did not want us to suffer like they did. They meant well, but not teaching us any self-discipline or how to delay gratification has gone a long way towards weakening our country, and it is getting worse with each subsequent generation. Self-discipline is, quite simply, the secret of happiness. Think about it... every area of your life you are unhappy about involves some lack of self-discipline. All things really worth having involve the constant use of self-discipline. If you never learned how to go without now, in order to reap a larger reward later on, then you are just as crippled as if you had no legs, IMO. I feel sorry for all of us if this continues.
    My point is that much of what Mikie said is very true, but many of us simply do not have the tools to put it into action, and it is very hard to learn this once you have reached adulthood. It can be done, but it's da*n hard. So, I prefer to look at the inside, and see if people are giving and compassionate. If so, then I like them, no matter how many bad habits they have.
  15. CelticLadee

    CelticLadee New Member

    I haven't been sick as long as most of you here. Maybe that makes it easier for me to be committed to getting myself well again. Also I have a strong will. Whether you can follow Mikie's advice or not isn't as relevant as are "you willing" to try to do the best you can today for yourself. One step at a time and if you mess up ... start again. Don't give up trying to do what is right for you to become well. Mikie has written a very important message for us to read. She cares that we care to get well! Thank you Mikie. I'm not perfect and do back tread too often. That little cookie was so irrestible or I'm too tired to exercise even the little I can do. Rationalize & excuse. We are so good at them as human beings. But in the end we only hurt ourselves when we don't give our best to get well. After reading your message Mikie I will try harder. Thanks again for caring.
  16. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    I used to be a wonderful preschool teacher for seveal years, I love kids, I love my kids. I have a pet dog named Jack, he is a Jack Russell mix. He is a very happy dog, and brings me and my family such joy! I love animals.

    I cleaned out my kids closets, mine and my hubbys too, things we cannot wear anymore. I donated the items to a disaster relief program. I do that, plus volunteer for people and families involved in house fires. I know how they feel, and what items they need because I experienced a fire myself, and so many donated stuff to us, when we were in need. I offer support, hugs too.

    I spend little time in malls, its too noisy, too expensive.

    I spend time with my kids at school alot, I am a involved parent. My youngest son Timothy who is 10 just got accepted finally into kids with special needs/learning disabilities at school. I am going with him Tuesday the first day to meet his new teacher. He is ADDH. I am involved in that too.

    I go to church alot, and am in a bell choir. Going to church helps bring strength, and I gain understanding about life from the Pastor at our church. I also love to sing, and I play a violin. I halp out with the church with fund raisers, food drives, etc.

    I love the outdoors and like to go camping with family, friends when the weather permits. I love the beach, sunsets, flowers, fresh smell after a nice rainstorm.

    I love period.


  17. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I never thought this little thread would bring up so many interesting topics. Lots of good input here and I am very happy to see that we can agree to disagree and remain gentlepeople. I'm proud of us all.

    All of us stumble from time to time when we are trying to "walk the walk." What is important is that we are even trying. I know from personal experience that there are times when conquering bad habits is more difficult than at other times. So, we just try again. Just knowing that we are trying is a great boost for the ego and when we see the results of our efforts, it sends our poor old battered egos through the roof!

    I've said it before and I'll say it again. We are heroes and heroines. Just putting a brace on a limb or taking a medication won't do it for us. We have to attack our illnesses on many fronts and since we are all different, we must tailor our treatments ourselves. Sometimes we are helped by the medical community, if we are lucky. Sometimes, we are abused by them, the very people to whom we look for help and in whom we must place our trust. It's never easy, but we keep on keepin' on every day that we can. Bless us all.

    Love, Mikie
  18. Fibromiester

    Fibromiester New Member

    With the Medical Definition I found, I THOUGHT you were possibly accusing some on the board of feigning their disease to get the attention, etc. I know you were referring mostly to your own experience, and I realize you believe in Grace, but as I read your post, it just sounded so judgemental and, yes, accusing. I over-reacted maybe. Truce. Peace to you! Fibromiester
  19. Fibromiester

    Fibromiester New Member

    You are someone I would definately like to have as a friend! We have a lot in common...Fibromiester :)
  20. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    That was certainly not my intention.
    I think that if something works for
    someone that's a blessing and I'm all
    for it. I believe I said they didn't
    work for me, and they didn't. I did
    buy the best the good health food stores here have and since we are in
    a large city we have access to all of
    them. And it was FAR from inexpensive
    any time I did buy items from the health food stores. I would just naturally figure that the cheapest
    brands could not possibly be as good
    as the pricier more well known brands. Although, sometimes price is not an indication of much, with vitamins and supplements or anything
    else these days. I think I was just
    trying to basically say the same thing Sunshyne said, I don't knock
    whatever works for anyone and say
    hurrah to the same time I think there is a tendency in some of
    the ones who are trying to do the "natural" products and not rely on
    the pain medications along with good
    vitamin and other supplements that
    don't cause us side effects or any
    bad reactions...seem to feel slightly
    superior in their evaluation of those
    like myself. What one doctor swears by another dismisses as nonsense on
    both sides of the issue and the fact
    is there really isn't a proven best
    therapy yet. I hope that eating well,
    working on stress issues, taking what
    vitamins one can afford, trying to
    develop a good outlook, trying to offer support of help to each other
    and "doing the best we can" for where
    we each are in this road of conflicting opinions, a mirade of
    theories, the outside stresses of
    doctors, friends and family members
    who continue to doubt even the dx's
    we have, good enough for any
    of us. We can each only do what we
    can do. At some point we have to
    find a doctor that we feel is compassionate and well versed, even
    if his educated opinions differ from
    the next doctor and put our trust in
    to the one we feel the most comfortable with. I hope they will give us more research money and that
    eventually they will announce a cure
    for all of us. Until then we can only
    pick and choose between all the ideas, theories, opinions and even
    some educated guesses at what is best. But if we have tried all else
    and had very bad or no reactions to
    various things, then we move on. For
    me, for now the best thing I can do
    is to take the pain meds, do the other things I listed that I try to
    do and hope for a future announcement
    that they have a bona fide, one size
    fits all CURE. I honestly did not
    intend to knock anyone's choices and
    I did say "different strokes for
    different folks" which says just that. If I did offend someone, you
    Shirl, or anyone else trying a different way of doing things, I'm
    just truly sorry. I only want to see
    the best results possible for each
    of us and that's the truth of it.
    Hugs, Bambi
    [This Message was Edited on 01/19/2003]