Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by golden, Mar 15, 2007.

  1. golden

    golden New Member

    Over the last 4 years I have not been doing so well. I'm going to ask my doctor to commit me because I just don't want to live in society any more. I feel like I just need to crawl up in a ball and go over in the corner and have someone tell me what to do. I don't know call it a vacation from all the things in life that bug me. I'm always sick so what better place to be. I have never been committed; maybe it might straighten me out. Any suggestions?
  2. jmq

    jmq New Member

    Hi golden...I feel like that many times...except I just want to move into a cabin in the mountains of N. Carolina and not care if any one tells me what to do. I would just fade away surrounded by nature

    Please do not get committed! I work with committed individuals every day at work. Mine usually get arrested, then end up in a hospital. I have also worked with people like us that just need to fall apart in a safe place. I would not recommend any hospitals that I know about. I am sure if you have some money, there are nice small retreat type places...but be careful. Those places can also drug you up and you may feel worse.

    Well, as I am typing this, I realize that I know nothing about you and should not give you serious advise. Especially since I am still typing after taking cymbalta,tramadol and ambien. I will check on you tommorrow...maybe you will feel a bit better.

  3. Shalala

    Shalala New Member

    I am so sorry you are feeling so low. I have been very low and tearful. Maybe it is the weather making affecting us in many ways. I know what you mean about curling up in a ball. We are here for you. Try to get some rest. I think I am pulling out of my funk a little bit. Hopefully you will too soon.
  4. LittleBluestem

    LittleBluestem New Member

    When I was still working, I remember reading an article about a women’s prison and thinking how lucky those women were. They didn’t have to work and someone else cooked their meals, did their cleaning, and did their laundry. If I were actually in prison, I don’t think I would like it so well.

    I’m wondering if you would really like life in a mental ward. For one thing, I don’t think they allow you to crawl into a corner and curl up in a ball. A deserted island, maybe?
  5. Ginner

    Ginner New Member

    I called mine a "sabatical" when I took an fmla from work and then when I gave up my job...a "revival" time.
    Of course when I emailed my new email address with this information, they ALL thought I WAS nutz! lol
    You will be okay.
    I do know what you mean.
    The saying Hang in there, comes to mind..
    A good saying though, tomorrow is another day..hoping yours will be a good one!
  6. MsOnlyMe123

    MsOnlyMe123 New Member

    I cannot and will not tell you what to do, but if you feel in anyway harmful to yourself or to another, I would highly suggest calling 911. They will come and help you and bring you immediatley to the nearest hospital. I don't know if you live with anyone or by yourself, but if you are with someone, please get their immediate attention. If not, is there anyone you can call and have them come to you? This is nothing to fool around with.

    I was suicidal at the end of last year and the beginning of this year. Somehow, I pulled myself away from it. I don't even know. Happiness that I did not hurt myself because now I am on my way home in a few days to take of my Mother, who has come down with Cancer. While she is being operated on and recouperating, I will be taking care of my Dad with Alzheimers.

    Fibro 10 years and many other illnesses. My Fibro is BAD and right now I am trying to deal with horrible pain and on Predison, from my Doctor, for 2 buldging disks in my lower back, leaning on my Sciatic nerve. I need to pack up my things and fly to Mass. from Florida.

    Just think, if I ended up hurting myself, my Parents would be alone. Believe me, there is always a reason to keep going on and I stongly realize that you don't see it right now.

    Again, please, if you have any doubt, please contact someone.


    Please, once again,
  7. clerty

    clerty New Member

    and I am sorry I have felt that way for a long time
    and a few weeks ago I wanted to be put away but I have got help I have found a good shrink and I have changed my diet
    I am having acupuncture and acupressure massage and last night I got 10 hrs sleep.
    have you tried anything like this ?
    good luck to you sending you loads of hugsxxxxxxxx

  8. Slayadragon

    Slayadragon New Member

    My grandmother lived for about three years before she died in a nice assisted living home (Sunrise).

    On my bad days, I've always thought that moving in there sounded like a good idea.

    There were three decent-quality meals served in the dining room per day, laundry done for you, decent sized room with bathroom, attractive common areas, intelligent and nice staff, total personal freedom, medical personnel who do housecalls (and nurses on premises).

    For those people who didn't need special assistance, the cost (in Cincinnati) was about $2500 per month. Considering that this covers room, board and maid service, it doesn't seem that outrageous to me.

    I wonder if there's an age minimum?

    Best, Lisa
  9. Ginner

    Ginner New Member

    If you are somewhere "dark", and we friends on the message board haven't been enough, tell someone close to you. They will help you, if they are not capable, go to the next, do not stay in this alone. I have been in a dark place, it is awful.I was frozen. Reach out, I personnally found out that people do not know unless we tell them. It will be okay for you too.
  10. jole

    jole Member

    I too have been where you are. Please ask your doctor to refer you to a good therapist. It may not be what you want to hear, but they really can help if you are ready for that.

    The darkness and despair of depression is much worse than the daily pain and fatigue that we all suffer. No one can understand that unless they have been there. It is not that expensive for therapy, and if you find someone that you connect well with, you will be amazed at how fast it helps you. Just one small suggestion will keep playing over and over in your mind until it makes sense, and grows from there.

    Please think about it, and let us all know what you decide. We all care about you, and wish you better days ahead.

    Friends - Jole
  11. and, also, I MUST use the saying "be careful what you wish for"... for many reasons..

    1.) I have a wonderful older sister (21months apart), my only sister, whom I love DEARLY.. she's been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, severe anxiety/panic attacks, PTSD, and other things..

    A couple of years ago, after a terrrrrible, abusive, relationship, of 3 yrs, ended..the guy wouldn't go away, and I mean, cursing my MOTHER out at 3am, drunk, calling my sisters work, one night, over 30 times, in less than 3 hrs, etc.. needless to say, ANYONE would have lived in constant fear, anxiety, stress, and NEED a getaway, not just to mentally recover, but, in her case- needed the PROTECTION!..

    Now, having said that, in that yr and a half, following, or so, she was committed 3 the same and only* place available here, for 'mental illness' (I do not like that word..) anyhow...

    She was truly reaching out for help, wanted to understand herself, leave her past behind, not be so terrified, understand and gain better control of her disorder(s).

    She always stayed however long they wanted, normally 2-3 wks, just to start on meds, & monitor for a bit, of course the day was filled with getting up, making her bed, going to all kinds of therapies, etc..

    The huge issue is, she was not separated, from those who were (MOST of the population there!) methamphetamine/cocaine addicts, who, were basically there, because that's where the judge sent them, and only there, to avoid prison, they* did NOT want to 'get well', most were explosive, some were in psychosis, from the many years of drugs, withdrawl, etc.. and others who were not there for drugs, (very few)... everyone, was all lumped in together, women AND men.. no good for someone who was at the time soo terrified of men.. just as long as women bunked with women, men with men (2 per room).. and she could not focus on her own issues, with people screaming, pacing floors, cursing, fighting, or just caught in their own schizophrenic/psychotic minds..sadly.

    She also, was put on many medications, she did not want, that did not work, she went from 115lbs-175+lbs in about 3-4 MONTHS, she broke out in rashes, had severe apnea, breathing fits-- very worrisome sounding yawns, very high blood pressure, she sweat all the time, slept all the time...etc. and should she have refused the medications.. then she'd have been considered "non-compliant with treatment program" and probably thrown out, much earlier than she was, as a 'model patient'..

    The point being, I guess... is that, definitely, a resort, even just a hotel room for a while, something of that sort, and OUT-patient counseling, would be better.. rather than pleading to be committed, (unless you feel you DO absolutely need that strict monitoring, which is ok..) and then ending up sooo miserable, due to the (bright lights! that bzzzz), other people controlling 1 tv, people shouting, arguing, up all hours of the night, etc.. and not to mention.. I don't know about you, but, I hurt bad enough in my OWN bed, that I don't sleep well... could YOU? actually rest up, if you were, to be committed for a while? Places that do admit pts, though, normally firstly prescribe, something to help sleep, but, you still have the noise, the lights, though dimmer at night, stay* on.. an inability to get away from other people, when you absolutely NEED to, and, having a daily routine/schedule that is the same, everyday, no matter how you physically & emotionally feel...

    Please DO talk in great length, with your doctor, about what is going on, what you NEED (a quiet place, to help yourself untangle your mind, etc), and consider any & all options that might be there for you..

    I myself, have developed severe "hermit" syndrome, I'm very isolated, i have anxiety now, after 7 yrs of being ill.. I don't answer the door, barely the phone, (caller ID, blessing!) and have trouble knowing now, if, I truly cannot PHYSICALLY get out to do something, or if my mind is just absolutely not allowing it..and it is HARD to tell, which is which... I always feel tooo sick & exhausted, and in pain to leave, but, I have to figure out when a day is an ok one to FORCE myself out now.. and it is rare.

    I would well.. will* ask.. even though you said over the last *four* years, you've not been doing so well... could it be any medications, maybe not causing* it, but, possibly making it worse (even by physical fatigue, lack of sleep, too much sleep... For me, certainly, medications, over time, have changed who I am, Emotionally, AND physically. I always* had bad physical reactions to anti-depressants, and also became more depressed than ever on them..

    For me, as time has gone by, I've gotten too used* to being in a back bedroom, alone, while hubby's at work, AND home, and then comfortable...has become (FEELS LIKE, anyways) not a choice, and not something I can control... but, I will. I have to. I owe it to myself, and everyone around me..

    Illness, just has a way of making us feel like that is WHAT and WHO, and ALL we are.. we just feel like we are just a nothing, a nobody, just a disease... alone, sad, helpless, scared, angry, etc.

    I have yet, to conquer any of this, but, I am, myself, looking right now, for a good counselor, as I cannot, and WILL not, take antidepressants anymore, and clonazepam is not nearly high enough dose to even control the spasms I was put on it for, originally, much less* the anxiety, etc.

    I was adamant, about no more birth control pills, etc, also, but 2.5wks ago, I had surgery, to remove a serous cystadenoma-benign, and diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome, AND endometriosis- I bottomed out on the weepiness! omg... and.. was really left no choice, but, Depo-Provera shot, every 3 months, LUPRON (HE** NO!), or pills.. I got my shot Monday...still do not trust things that are made to last 3 months, via injection.. but.. I'm happy, because I haven't just sobbed and sobbed, & weeped, since.. believe me, it was that bad- that i'm glad I haven't, in only 5-6? days..

    So much can mess with our emotions, hormones, genetics, adrenals, brain disease (lesions..etc), medications, but.. also, life itself, and especially while extremely hard..

    I hope this makes sense, and isn't too long for you, I wanted to type it all out, just 'food for thought', because, I DO care..



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