Communication? Only with you guys :)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Chelz, Nov 24, 2011.

  1. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    I have come to a great conclusion, I can best communicate with you guys only. I came to this board years ago, and have posted many many time and have replied many times, and I realize that I have shared with all of you my upmost fears, dissapointments, venting, advice giving and receiving, but I can't do hardly any of that with family, co-workers, any friends (I don't see them much) or anyone else.

    The reason I am bringing this up is because today being Thanksgiving, I had disagreements with my family, I am not really that close to my young nephew anymore, my brother-in-law couldn't wait to just eat and run, I had to take frequent breaks from cooking and cleaning up, my sister always tries to "rush" me along, and she knows that I just can't do that, I felt sad once again, but kept my mouth shut

    I really cannot express what my FM feels like to anyone but you here on the boards, and I am grateful for that.

    On another subject, it is also extremely hard for me to date because I wouldn't want the poor guy to go running when he really sees how "delicate" my condition can be and the moodiness that can go along with it, actually, I wouldn't blame him, but again, I really couldn't communicate that with any guy, just the thought of it gives me terrible anxiety.

    I posted earlier this week about seeking a therapist for chronic pain, maybe I should throw in there communication as well........but guess what? I don't think I can talk to them, it is so overwhelming to me.

    So on this Thanksgiving day, I thank all of you, I truly do. Hugs to all, Chelz.
  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    I know exactly what you are saying! This is one of the hardest things trying to communicate with people.

    After TG this yr and forcing myself to go-I'm not really caring if I go again!! Sounds like yours went much like mine.

    Feeling misunderstood and trying to put it into words is very hard.

    Hugs and thanks back to you for all your many posts and offers of support.
  3. luigi21

    luigi21 Member

    Am with you all the way on this one Chelz, can totally identify, thanks for the post
  4. inbetweendays

    inbetweendays New Member

    these posts really hit home. sorry it is so difficult for people....only you know what you are going through. do you want to hear something really sick---ive actually experienced these mean and ignorant statements from a cfids support group in my area,.....i cant even believe it myself. some of the twisted people i have met in a long while....
  5. pepper

    pepper New Member

    you really should give it a try. I don't know where I would be without mine! Lucky for me I have a very good friend with CFS/FM and we talk almost every day. She is the only person who actually understands what I live with. But I don't want to burden her all the time and I have to do my share of listening.

    When I go to the therapist, I can let it all out. And I can cry and not worry that I am stressing her out.

    The trick is you need to find someone who specializes in health issues and chronic pain. If you can find such a person and can afford to go, from my experience it is a very good thing!

    Good luck!
  6. ILoveGreen

    ILoveGreen New Member

    I had a nice Thanksgiving dinner at my brother's house and for the first time I felt somewhat comfortable talking about getting fired from five jobs after my "real" job ended when I became disabled. They all just sat there with their mouths open. Someone asked why I got fired, and I explained that when you can't sleep well and/or are in pain for months on end, your mind doesn't work right and you can't comprehend, learn, remember, or sometimes get to work in the first place or stay awake once you get there, it's hard to hold ANY kind of job, or keep any kind of scheduled commitment.
    Of course I made sure I was medicated that day so I could make it through without having to lie down, but here I am lying in bed recovering from a "family holiday" two days ago. On a "normal" year, I'd be decorating my home, baking cookies, wrapping presents, shopping, or spending time with friends and family.
    I think that might be the last holiday I spend with my family. The noise of the kids, the overlapping conversations, the din of clanking dishes and chairs moving across the wooden floor, all the sounds that used to symbolize a joyous occasion now just give me a headache which takes days to recover and come down from. I wish it wasn't like that, but it is.
  7. azmiranda

    azmiranda Member

    I used to post quite frequently on the boards here and then for some reason stopped, then this evening I am so down from the holidays and missing out that this is the first place I ran too. I for one know that if I need to vent, talk or lend support this is where I go. Nobody understands what we go through. I know it is hard to see another person's pain and that everyone feels exhausted...but if they only knew. I too feel the same way as you about dating and I am so lonely I can barely stand it at times. I just want a hug someone to hold me and tell me it is all going to be OK...great fantasy huh?

  8. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    That the good people here are the only ones who truly understand what we go through. If I am not up to doing something, I tell my neighbors and friends. Many don't understand, and now and then, one makes a thoughtless statement, but I just let it run off me like water off a duck. I have enough on my plate without having to educate them or excuse myself when I'm in a flare. Strangely enough, quite a few of them have health issues of their own or have close families or friends with these issues. I'm no longer the sole "oddball" or "hyopchondriac."

    Our members are so kind and generous and without this board and our members, I'd likely still be bedridden most of the time and on opiates for pain. God bless everyone here.

    Love, Mikie
  9. inbetweendays

    inbetweendays New Member

    cyber hugs to everyone. remember one day at a time and sometimes even one minute at a time. hang on everyone.