computer tech calls....really funny

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sunflowergirl, Jun 8, 2006.

  1. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    other day I had to call Dell...This is a transcript...
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    TECH SUPPORT LINE.....
    >
    >Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just
    >doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
    >Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
    >Customer: Yeah..
    >Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
    >Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD
    >player and all I get is weird noises. Listen....
    >Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    >Female customer: A white one...
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
    >Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
    >Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    >Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    >Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
    >on my desk... sorry....
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the
    >left of the screen.
    >Customer: Your left or my left?
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    >Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    >Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
    >Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
    >Gates, damn it!
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
    >try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed
    >it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Customer : I have problems printing in red...
    >Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    >Customer: Aaaah.................thank you.
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    >Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Customer : My keyboard is not working
    >anymore.
    >Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    >Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    >Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    >Customer: OK
    >Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
    >Customer: Yes
    >Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
    >keyboard?
    >Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work
    >==============================================
    >
    >Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
    >letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
    >Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    >Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    >Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    >Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    >Customer: Five stars.
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    >Customer: Netscape.
    >Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    >Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on
    >my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >Tech support: How may I help you?
    >Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    >Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    >Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get
    >the circle around it?
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
    >printer.
    >Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    >Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
    >The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
    >printer is working fine."
    >
    >==============================================
    >
    >And last but not least:....
    >
    >Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
    >same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type
    >the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
    >Customer: I don't have a P.
    >Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    >Customer: What do you mean?
    >Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
    >Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Forwarded them on to an old friend who is also learning to used the computer.