Concerned I will loose all friendships

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by runningstream6, Dec 25, 2002.

  1. runningstream6

    runningstream6 New Member


    I am new here, I have had cfs/fm for over ten years. I notice that at times I'm having alot of difficulty maintaining a conversation when I interact with others. I sense that family and friends find it hard to be around me because of my illness and I notice at times it can be difficult to hold my concentration on a conversation. If i can't have a conversation It's hard for me to see how I can have a friendship.
    I'm concerned that eventually no one will want to see me.

  2. jolly

    jolly New Member

    I love your name! Yes, I can relate to what you're saying. It seems a lot of us have trouble maintaining that "small talk" with people. It seems I have more friends on this board than in real life because people understand where you're coming from. Even my friends and family that know what I have don't really understand it even though they're usually nice. You'll probably really enjoy this board for that reason. We have a lot of fun on the chitchat message board, too - lots of jokes and carrying on being silly. I like it because you can add something or reply on your own time when you're feeling like it. I've never gotten on the "live chat." Some say it moves too fast. There's also a writer's board and worship board. Hope you hang around and make some friends here. Jo Ellen
  3. rbtheidmanhabs

    rbtheidmanhabs New Member

    Hey runningstream6!
    I change things in a conversation all the time.I may be talking about one thing and something else crops up.Not only that I may be talking about something and start falling asleep.But you know I have been quite sick for 2 years now.Before that I used to enjoy a drink once in awhile but I havn't had a drink for two years.My friends and one of my brothers don't seem to bother with me anymore.
    Has that ever happened to you.My family really don't get the picture that I am seriously sick.
  4. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    but don't give up all hope. I have a very, very small circle of friends, and the few good friends I have mostly understand and bear with me. I have one very good friend who, although is not formally diagnosed, suffers from the same symptoms I do, so it's a comfort to be able to really talk about it with her. I think that probably many people here have lost friendships or relationships with family members or others they really care about because so many people just don't understand, or are ignorant about, or just cannot accept these diseases. My personal thoughts are to reach out to those you really care about and want in your life; try to help them understand what you are going through, express your concerns over losing their friendship, ask for their patience and acceptance. You may be surprised how many will rally around you. And if some of them don't right away, concentrate on the relationships with the ones who do, the last thing you need is to expend a lot of emotional or physical energy on people who only give you negative feedback. {{{{hugs}}}

  5. Phoenixbard

    Phoenixbard New Member

    Hey Runningstream welcome! I deal with the same thing all the time. It is really frustrating when you can't remember what you are saying. I often wonder what the people I am talking to are thinking, but from the looks I get maybe I don't want to know!!! Hang in there a true friend will stick with you in spite of everything. If nothing else you learn who your true friends are, and who you can really count on.

    It's sad but seems to be the way it is.

  6. susabar

    susabar New Member

    The ones that won't take the trouble to educate themselves on your condition aren't really friends. I was moved this Xmas, that my husbands family was so supportive of me. Also I saw an old friend in a Dept store and she cried when she found out the news because she had "lost" a co-worker and a good friend to this disease. ( meaning she couldn't stay at her job )
    My fear is people will think I am a bird brain....
  7. LauraLea

    LauraLea New Member

    Yes this is a very scary thing. I hope you sent all your friends "The letter to normals" this explaned a lot to my friends.

    If I get all mixed up I just tell them I'm in a fog today, or if it's real bad I ask if I can call them back.

    It's hard to say this or to understand, but the friends who are TRUE friends will sick by you and the rest you don't need. I've actually have met 3-new friends who also have FM and we didn't even know it until we had been friends for awhile.

    You need to educate your friends by sending them a few things to read. Don't overdo it, but a few should do the trick to help them understand.

    You have a bunch of new friend here too.
    Warm hugs Laura
  8. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Hi Runningstream, like you name, it is sooo soothing, my daughter lives right on a river in Louisiana, and when I go there, I could just move in! It makes me so calm just to sit in her solarium and listen and watch that water moving! It is a beautiful and restful sound and sight. You can see the deer and other animals go to the banks for a drink too.

    I have found some relief with the concentration/memory thing.

    I read a book called; ABC of Asthma, Allergies, and Lupus' by F. Batmanghelidj, MD. the site is very informative too, no selling except for the books/tapes, but a whole lot of information;

    This doctor claims that we are all dehydrated in America, and recommends drinking half your body weight in ounces of water per day. Also to take 1/3 of a teaspoon full of Sea Salt.

    I have been drinking my water and the salt now for about eight months, along with Pro Health's 'Ulta B-Complex', and my memory and concertration have improved tremendously.

    I never drank water before this, only a mouth full to swollow a pill! But I never miss my water anymore.

    It also helps your skin too.

    I would not worry too much about your friends, if they are truly friends, they will help you, not avoid you.

    Take care, and welcome to the board.

    Shalom, Shirl

  9. Fibrolady37

    Fibrolady37 New Member

    Hi there running stream,
    Great name by the way,im so sorry to hear youre having problems,youre not alone im in the same boat.
    When im talking i cant get my words out,or i say something & it comes out wrong.
    Luckily for me my few good friends support me & understand i cant help it,theyre great & i consider myself very lucky to have them aswell as all my friends onhere in my fibro family.
    You need people around you who encourage & support you,having negative people around will only upset you & you have enough to cope with with this DD.
    Youre in the right place here so rest assured there are a lot of people who care,youre not alone so take comfort in that ok honey.
    Hope to hear from you again soon take care & very gentle hugs
    Sharon D (UK)
  10. 1Writer

    1Writer New Member

    you've found the best bunch of support people in the world, right here! I know what you mean, (I have CFS), and my family and friends try to be understanding, but they always seem to change the subject if I start talking about my aches and pains, so I try not to dwell on my problems too much to anyone but the people here. Everyone here understands and is going thru the same things you are and will help you in times of despair and times of joy. You'll also find a tremendous amount of info here and lots of different options to choose from to help yourself w/the control of this welcome, and hope to hear from you again soon...