Confused/Frustrated/Scared

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by suz9601, Dec 7, 2004.

  1. suz9601

    suz9601 Member

    I am 27 years old and have been sick w/several "syndromes/Conditions" for almost 9 years now. I pray everyday that God will heal me or at least make me better so I can get out of the house. I only continue to get more and more sick. I have about 6 or 7 conditions now and am afraid of what my future will hold.

    It's hard to see my life as this when I wanted it to be so much more. I can't believe God would want me to just sit here and waste my life like this. I want to have a child and be a wife to my husband. I feel lke I am just rotting away. I have no life anymore. It gets very depressing.

    I don't understand why God would want me to live this way. I know most of you are probably the same way. I know no one really knows, but what is your guess at why God allows such suffering? Even though I pray, it just gets worse. Am I doing something wrong? I feel as if he doesn't even listen to me. I have my own prayer group of people praying for me, but I only get more sick each year.

    I guess I am just looking for some answers that you guys probably don't have either. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? The best years of my life are being wasted. What good could there be in this? Well anyway, thanks for letting me vent.
  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Yes, I do believe everything happens for a reason, but in these limited physical lives we live, we can't see the forest for the trees.

    It is through adversity that we grow in spirit. Perhaps there is something we need to learn in order to become more perfect to be more like God and more pleasing to Him in spirit.

    Just suppose for the sake of intellectual exercise that we agree to live these lives with God's blessings and His help so that we might grow in spirit. Perhaps God allows us to come here to this Earth school in order to accomplish what we could not in the spirit world.

    This is a foreign idea to some, but there are a lot of people who do believe this. It answers for me the question of why God allows suffering. It also allows me to bear my suffering better knowing that I am growing and learning what I need to know. I can't blame God because I believe I chose this life and this burden with God's blessing.

    I'm not asking anyone else to believe this. Just read it with an open mind. It's about as good an answer for this age-old question of suffering as any I've found.

    God bless you.

    Love, Mikie
  3. MIssAutumn

    MIssAutumn New Member

    I don't know if you read the Bible - KJ or NIV or any of the Christan ones, but it says all through it that we will have suffering and trials. In John 16 Christ says:
    "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

    Psalms 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit.

    And in Peter: " Don't be bewildered or surprised when you go through the fiery trials ahead, for this is no strange, unusual thing that is going to happen to you."

    One more :) For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

    I don't think we can put ourselves on an equal level with God. I don't think we can make deals with Him or even tell Him what should be, His ways are not ours. He is going to test us all through our lives and by reading the Bible it does explain very clearly why we go through "fiery trials"

    What good could be in this, is according to the Christan Bible, our Faith is stronger and in suffering we come to "know" God. Not in the good and easy times but in the hard times. I have found the Bible does have the answers for me and has given me a constant inner peace.

    [This Message was Edited on 12/07/2004]
  4. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Dearest Suz,

    I do not have an answer for you wish I did..I can sure relate to how you feel as I too have questioned and been angry.
    We do not know why nor understand but just
    remember no matter how bad it gets God is walking with you and knows exactly how you feel and what you are going thru..

    Your suffering my give you strength in some way or have some effect on others. I know what you are thinking but how with me being this way. Just keep trusting in God and he will bring you thru this maybe not your way but his...

    I kept thinking I would get better and be my normal self again and enjoy my last years with my family and grandbabies..and I will just not the way I planned..
    I have just started accepting my illness
    and saying ok God you know whats going on
    now give me the strength to get thru this and in your way I pray for something good to come out of it...I am trying to just
    turn it all over to him and pray for inner peace and know there is a reason..

    I think of all the suffering Job went thru
    so I am trying not to question but have faith..We are human and the feelings
    you have are so normal..

    Prayers are with you,
    greatgran
  5. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    You have received some interesting responses to your post, they all need to be read slowly and poundered with prayer as well, for you to get the full benefit from them.

    what I will add, and that has helped me along this long journey I have traveled with this illness is that someway God does have a plan for my life even now, I am not as active or out in the world as I used to be.

    At the beginning I though more or less like you are doing right now. I was near your age when FM hit me too. I have had FM and all the other syndromes that go along with it for over twenty years now.

    I was very active in Church, in fact my life revolved around my Church work (read my profile), and I could not understand WHY He would allow this illness to cause me to be unable to function like I was doing, as I was raising my children, and doing His work at the same time.

    I didn't leave 'God' in church when I came home either, I also had numerous Bible studies at home weekly as well as church teaching. I went out witnessing, even when I was just out shopping. When an opportunity presented itself, I would stop and invite people to church no matter where I was. It was my life.

    I did everything that I though was what God expected of me. Yet I got this illness, and it cut off all the good works I was doing. I was devastated at first, I could not understand 'why' this was allowed to happen to ME!

    But finally, I realized that no matter where I am, God can use me to His glory. Be it at home in a church, shopping mall, etc.

    I believe that what most of us forget, when we give our live over to the Lord, then He is in the 'drivers seat', we are not our own anymore.

    I have learned that is how it is, and I was an empty vessel when He saved me, and even though I cannot do all those things I did before, even the teaching (which I dearly loved), He is still using me to His glory, I am not an empty vessel anymore, but full of God's love and glory.

    I learned that when I see a need, even on the computer, He will let me know if its me He wishes to fullfill it. I try not to disappoint Him! Prayer is one of the most important things we can do in the name of God. He loves those who pray for others.

    Sickness is a part of life, just like getting older. None of us were promised a perfect life. There will always be sickness, sorrow, old age, and many other horrible, disappointing things in this life.

    We are on a journey , this is not our permanent home, heaven is, we are pilgrims here, travling on our journey through this desert.

    You are not doing anything wrong, just try and give it all to God, your frustrations, your desires, your feeling that life is passing you by.

    In reality its not, but I know how you feel. It seems so unfair, but believe me God does have a plan for your life, even if you can't see it now in all your pain, and disappointment.

    You may be a witness to someone that you are not aware of. Have you thought of that? Others have less problems, yet think that they have 'problems' and are angry with God for some trivial thing, and then see your faith and realize how foolish their complaints are.

    I believe God can heal anything for us, but there are times He will say no, and its aways for our good. We simply have to wait on Him to do things in His own way, and His time.

    HOpe this helped you some, along with the other posters.

    I will pray for your to be healed, as you feel so badly being ill. But remember we are all sick in some way or other.

    Many times we would feel fortunate when we see what others are going through, or living with.

    Take care of yourself, and try to keep your faith, know that God is always in control, even when we think He has deserted us, thats when He is closest to us.

    God's many blessings going out to you............


    Shalom, Shirl

  6. roadkill

    roadkill New Member

    There was a book I once read that had an explanation to suffering that brought me such comfort and sanity. It was called "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Harold Kushner. I think that was the name.

    I read it when my I had to let my daughter die to leukemia at age 3 1/2. During that time I needed some really good explanations to survive the ordeal.

    Its good medicine.
  7. suz9601

    suz9601 Member

    I just wanted to Thank everyone. I will take to heart all of your advice and hang in there. Thanks again for your help and support.
  8. katsgirl

    katsgirl New Member

    Dear suz I just wanted to add a short note here. I know what you are feeling to some extent. You have been with an illness for much longer than I so I feel bad about complaining at all.

    I read all of your responses, I think they are great and so true. I have to follow the same advice given to you. I read something today that I would like to share;

    God will strenghten you with his own great power so that you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient.(colossians 1:11)

    thanks for allowing me to share........kat