I have just realized and said "out loud" that I am depressed. This is new to me because usually I am the person at the social gatehring that gives everyone a good laugh with great conversation and smiles. My job is very fast paced with a lot of deadlines that I cant miss. I have been w my boyfriend for a year and half. he has 2 kids 1 boy (10) and 1 girl (14) so I think you can put that all together!! We live together he is a great guy and tries to be supportive w my career and the kids. The boy stays w us full time and his daughter comes and goes... but she always makes the days she is here hectic. I have finally said I can't bend over to make her happy. I have tried so much to communicate w her and build a relationship but that comes and goes as I knew it would.. I have noticed that my depression comes and I lose focus on my job duties and everything else. It has progressively gotten worse and I feel it is noticable now and it scares me. I have a concelor and I am seeing her tomorrow but I dont think I have been totally truthful w her from the start. I have always put up a tough girl act when I see her and kinda make her laugh but really I am scared to death. I am 34 years old and I am dating someone w kids that right there should scare anyone!! Besides that I am have been seeing myself over eating or craving all bad foods and I eat when I am not evern hungry. It comforts me to eat. I haev put on about 50 pounds in the past 6 years and I have started dieting and stoped hundreds of times. Thats depressing too... not blaming anyone for my problems because I am a firm believer we all create our destiny by one choice or another.. but I have realized that my eating habits and happy, sad, hyper not so hyper have been a couple of degrees higher than usual. I have lost interest in hanging out w my friends and when I get like this drinking makes me feel better. My father is an alcoholic so I am always scared of becoming one. I am just all over the board right now even in this conversation I am trying to write so much to say and I dont know where to turn??