I always thought I was a spiritual,if non-denominational, person. But after I became ill w/CFS about 3 years ago, I really became humbled and desperate. While I more recently have difficulty comprehending new information (and being articulate) this illness has made me reach far and wide for answers, and hopefully a path to getting well. In the midst of my search, I do believe God has spoken to me in many ways. On those horrible nights of waking every half hour or staying awake, I immediately reach for the Bible (something I never really read much) and allow it to fall open to whatever page God intends for me. I can honestly say I always get what I need and most often I am able to go back to sleep. This past Spring, I gained more insight from a book my initial doctor wrote called, "Mastering Your Life." It talked a lot about letting go of the past, resentment, anger, judging, fear and guilt; and practicing forgiveness, efficient use of energy, etc. While I am increasingly convinced that my CFS was brought about by toxic mold exposure, I also believe that I was able to become affected to begin with because my immune system was greatly weakened from feeling those negative emotions over an extended period of time. While having to reduce my work hours this Summer, I journaled a lot to process those negative emotions while simultaneously reading Norman Vincent Peale's spiritual book called, "The Power of Positive Thinking." This became a wonderful healing tool to replace negative thoughts and emotions with uplifting ones, and has helped me many times stop fretting unnecessarily (which only serves to make me more ill). This book also taught me the power of "affirmative prayer power," rather than begging or pleading (as I had always done), and I must say I feel so much better for it. The spiritual connectedness I now feel - through using all of these sources - has been a "God-send" and has lifted my sprits and energy on many mornings when I am in brainfog low gear. I am glad to say that when faced with a confusing or fearful situation now, I much more readily use these tools to guide my thoughts and emotions to something more constructive, and more faith-full. Last week I had such a wonderful, clear, focused and energetic day that I constantly thanked God out of gratitude all day. But, after my doctor's appointment this week I was left feeling frustrated, confused, helpless and frightened, and then could not sleep. So, I opened the Bible and the message I received was "God can heal and restore me to wholeness. He will provide for all of my needs. He is my defender and peacemaker." In focusing on that concept, and the current moment only, I was able to go back to sleep and to work the next day. The fretting was gradually replaced with a sense of calm and peacefulness, even hope. I have always believed "that with God all things are possible," and I am grateful today to know I am not alone in this illness. God is with me always. He is with everyone of you too.