constant thoughts of dying someone please help me

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by nelrao, Mar 21, 2009.

  1. nelrao

    nelrao New Member

    I feel like every day is a struggle, i cant even think as far as next week without wanting to stangle myself. its like waking up and moving every day is such a feat... all i can think about is how we are spiraling towards our death, all of us. that someday its all going to disappear. i want to cry all the time, death consumes my thoughts. i am not suicidal, i am TERRIFIED of deaht to the point where it has depressed me and given me severe anxiety. any time i am talking or in a conversation, i start to experience derealization and symptoms of a panic attack. i feel like i grow stupider every day because i use my entire brain power on trying to calm myself down. what is wrong with me? everything was fine, and this past july i had a random massive panic attack and i have never been the same since. its as if i woke up, and now i see the world through different eyes. i cant imagine living another day but i cant even fathom dying... is there any help for me? i feel trapped, i feel no escape, is this depression? sometimes i wonder if im the only one in the world who feels this. its as if i am not human, and i am trapped inside this body (no these are not delusions, i know i am sane, i am fully aware) what can i do? im afraid of medication too, but therapy would force me to talk about it, and im worried i might just die of fright, its so painful please someone help me
  2. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    It is time to see a psychiatrist and then a therapist to get this diagnosed and resolved. And probing to find out what happened around July. Your fear of medication and therapy is just another part of your mental health ailment and you have to reach out to get help. We don't have any doctors on here to help you with this and you need professional help.

    Please note that people with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorders) get treatment and do not die of fright (even with the horrible PTSD nightmares) and I was diagnosed with PTSD and with medication and therapy worked out of it. So you won't die of fright from panic or anxiety. Constantly tell yourself that you CAN do this and then call your physician for a referral to a psychiatrist that could help you. The psychiatrist can probably recommend a therapist too. Good luck and hugs.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/21/2009]
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board.

    Have you been treating for panic attacks or depression? Generally people don't get better without

    Why are you afraid of meds? I find they are very helpful. When I was a kid there were NO
    meds. My neighbor went to the state mental asylum every year and stayed for months. No meds
    and no treatment. They just weren't available in those days.

    Is it possible to die of fright? People do in stories, but generally they are old and feeble. (Like me, Haha) I
    doubt you would find therapy frightening or that it would kill you. Might be a little unsettling at first, but
    most people find it therapeutic.

    What do you think happens after death? There are lots of opinions. Pick one you find comforting.

    Have you tried a 12 step program. Emotions Anonymous has helped me for over two decades.

    I hope you will put some energy into finding something that can help you. Don't suffer; fight back.

    Good luck.


  4. cindiw

    cindiw New Member

    Please make a search on adrenal fatigue. Hormonal imbalances will cause depression.
  5. SnooZQ

    SnooZQ New Member

    Hi Nelrao,

    First let me say I am sorry to hear of your anguish.

    Be assured, help IS available. Start with a physical checkup. There are some physical problems that can contribute to obsessive fears. Ask your Dr. for a referral, if the physical is OK.

    Many people find that short-term medication is helpful. If one med has bad side effects for you, there are others that can help. You can start at a low dose to gain confidence.

    How 'bout your social network -- family, friends, coworkers. Reach out to them.

    If you are strongly opposed to meds, and have the financial wherewithal, I strongly recommend the Amen Clinics. Not covered by many insurances, but they do a WONDERFUL job of helping people. Amen clinics use medication, but also integrative healing modalities and counselling, to help people with a wide range of emotional and psychological issues. Our family has had wonderful experiences there.

    Best wishes.
  6. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Nelrao, just checking--are you starting to feel a bit better and a bit more positive--like you can reach out to professionals and ask for help??
  7. yogagal

    yogagal New Member

    I too have severe depression, I have fibromylagia, panic attacks, and severe pain. I don't like crowds, I dont like to go drs. and talk about it. They are so buzy they don't seem to listen or want to hear. I don't go to groups.. Ihave no one to talk with. So I went an bought a Nikon D-80 camera and try to express my feelings through this. I have a granddaughter and take pictures of her. I also like nature photography and sometimes I don't even get out of the car I just balance the camera on the window. I also belong to where I can post my pictures and receive feedback. You would be surprised how many people there are suffering also. When you make friends you and exchange e-mail addresses and talk with them, the people I have meant are extremely friendly and ill and they know what you are going thru. Even if you have any kind of camera and can post photos you will make all kinds of friends and dont' even have to leave the house.
    I have been ill since 2000 and thought many times the way you do. Sometimes the pain is so bad inside and out, I don't think I can take it. The only relief is when I sleep and I do that quite a bit. I have what they call fibro fog and can't remember why I went into the room. I go to speak and forget what I am going to say. I write almost eveything down. When I feel a panic attack I take several deep breaths and remind myself I am not the only one, however, I might be the only one right then. I have even had to pull the car over to the side of the road. If you have a hobby that can give you some pleasure, it may help. These are just hints and tips, I do hope they help and you can feel better, there is no worse feeling then thinking you are along and may not make it through the depression and attacks you are having. Do you have a friend to talk to at all? My e-mail address is if I can help. Good luck,
  8. feary

    feary New Member


    I am going through the EXACT same thing

    it is amazing how similiar it is

    have you found any cure
  9. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    her profile, the above post was the one and only for Nelrao.
    We can only hope she found something helpful.

  10. tommymack

    tommymack New Member

    I felt like you did for about 30 years. Like you I did not want to face the fact that I was not like other people -- and that is OK. The brain is a marvelous complex miracle and we cannot always control what the brain wants to do. Please seek help. Medication has changed my life around. Instead of thinking of dying, how about thinking about living? Pick up the newspaper each day and look at the obits. Then look in the mirror. You are alive today. You are a miracle. Enjoy the day. Stop worrying about yesterday because it is gone and you cannot change the past. Stop worrying about tomorrow because it is not even here yet. Live for today. God bless.