Could I just vent please????

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by star273, Jan 10, 2009.

  1. star273

    star273 New Member

    I am so sick of this and I dont know what to do. Every little thing I do, I hurt so bad and ache so much. I just went to the store and my husband who just had surgery for colon cancer, cant do anything for awhile. Anyway, he is a merchandiser for Dr. Pepper. (its a little side job besides his regular job) Anyway, he is at home recovering so I am filling the soda for him. I needed some things at the store but by the time I was done, I couldnt even hardly walk let alone grap a few groceries. I hurried out to my car and just sat there, it didnt go away or get better so I came home. I guess I will go get my stuff later. Its amazing to me, I dont even hardly do anything and my whole right side is so stiff and I can hardly move it. Its like my whole right side is done working, my arm just hangs there and my leg drags, thats how it feels... I HATE IT!!! I have to go back to my part time job on Monday and I know I am stressed about that. I ache so much hurrying to get ready in the morning along with getting the kids ready then I get to work and sit at a desk where my hips, neck and back hurt and my right hand doesnt want to type or anything. In this day and age there is no way I can go without my paycheck (small as it may be) its something!. I want so bad to try and get SSD which I know my Dr. has mentioned to me before, I am so afraid of being rejected and then not have anything... Its so hard when you cant even do the simplest things. So frustrating and upsetting. Thanks so much to all who listen to me vent. So glad to have you guys... Also, I guess I should mention that mY husbands colon cancer was caught early with no spread to other organs or any lymph nodes. HE is doing fantastic. I am trying not to be a baby when he has gone through all this, but right now I just want to cry...
  2. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    I am so sorry that you are having such a bad time with pain and fatigue and everything else. Do you have family or a neighbor that might help you out with a little shopping or another type of help?

    If you do end up having to go to the store don't feel embarrassed to use a motorized cart!! It does help a little when you don't have to walk around the store.

    Can you get any type of help at work?? Like a better or more supportive chair, or take your heating pad with you to work. Or take your break to go some light stretches or a short walk to loosen up your muscle?

    I am sending a big...but gentle hug your way, and a prayer for both you and your husband...I am so happy for you that he is gooding so well.

    ((((Gentle Hugs))))
  3. byoungusa

    byoungusa New Member

    I just wanted send you a hug very carefully so as not to hurt you. I know how you feel, and I just wanted to tell you its alright. Somebody really smart told me its alright to feel bad for yourself, it doesn't mean you don't feel bad for other people. I felt so guilty because I know there are people worse off than me but thats really the wrong way to look at things. Your pain is your pain, your misery is your misery and your hell is your hell. Its just as bad and relevant as anybody elses. Please look into the ssdi, it takes a long time and I don't know your situation. I'm in the middle of applying myself I have been off work since last July, I went til I just couldn't put one foot infront of the other anymore. I tried with all I had and yes, we sure needed my paycheck. I'm 48 and have worked since I was 13, I raised 2 kids and never had a lazy bone in my body, quite the opposite I was the go to girl. But, its not like that anymore, you need to kinder to yourself. And yes many many people have been exactly where your at now. Only you know how much you can take about the work thing. But I want you to know your post touched me and I just want you to know there is someone out here who cares. Take care and take care of your husband. Best of luck.
  4. SolSerenade

    SolSerenade New Member

    that's why we are here. I'm not sure if it helps you to know that you are not alone - I hope it does.

    if I may generalize, i think the more we "cry" - and i mean cry out from rooftops like in that Steve Martin movie (the Jerk?) - the more people i.e. *Doctors* just may listen a little harder.

    also the general public ought to know how much many of us suffer -- if we have "an invisible illness", that very fact is quite unfortunate ... just look at how AIDS is 'treated' (respected as serious) now.

    when famous people, actors, musicians, etc. began dying, suddenly there was FUNDING and Compassion (as opposed to apathy, fear, and ostracism).

    sorry if that's a wacky tangent -- i have horrible chronic pain, every day - for years - and i'm angry, that aside from a handful of specialists, no one seems to have even *heard of* me/cfs.

    I hope things improve for you.
  5. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    There is a great website called It might be some lawfirm but they have put a ton of excellent information. Before my brother filed for SSDI he read the site for a couple of weeks. He said it really helped him but also he was approved in 3 months after applying. I was shocked because I read here so many people are turned down.

    If you read the site, there is really alot to know before filing. Very important is to have the full support of your doctor. Before anything is sent to SSDI you should see what is being sent.

    I have read alot of people here who file for SSDI and their doctors are not really supporting them, or the medical records are bad. If your doctor is not 150% supportive, one should find a doctor who is, before filing.

    Good luck (my brother not only received the SSDI but also temporary disability from Californiia for 12 months, 9 months while getting the SSDI. So he was getting both checks. I thought that could not be correct but after calling the state they said it was correct.

    When you collect your state temporary disability I guess if you can use it whenever. The first thing you do is have your doctor put you on temporary disability -then file for the permanent. You may have up to 12 months or more of temporary depending on your work credits.

  6. lvjesus

    lvjesus Member

    It is frustrating and it is hard to make people understand. It makes you soooo MAD when you can't do the simplest things, like when I go to the grocery store and the lighting drains my body of any energy I may have had before I went and then I just walk up and down the aisles trying to remember where some things are or just stand in front of things, like the cereal, unable to make a simple decision about what kind to buy! AARRGGHH!

    Just as an aside, some of it comes down to acceptance (not meaning you necessarily, but me for sure) like now when I get to an item that is not on my list and I HAVE to have it, but things I can do without, and I can't decide, I just simply move on. I know and accept that I will not be able to decide and have just decided to shrug it off and not waste time standing there staring because I now know that will power will not help. I am not going to be able to do it, so I say forget it.

    I think many of us were go getters before this came along and now we have to accept our limitations, no matter how little we like them, and just get over not being able to do EVERYTHING and work from sun up until sun down.
    God Bless
  7. CSusie

    CSusie New Member

    I'm so sorry for all that you and your hubby are going through. Please don't feel that you are being a baby because the pain you are having is real and you are frustrated (which is very understandable). I am sending you sweet gentle hugs!
  8. star273

    star273 New Member

    Thank you all for the support. It just gets so darn frustrating. I think it would be easier if society made it easier on us.. I think thats what makes it so hard for us to accept everyday. I think its so terrilbe that we feel this way but looking at us, we look fine.
    I knew I was not alone and I appreciate you all supporting me. This board has helped me in so many ways..
    Love to all of you and God Bless you all...

    Thanks again,