I used to hate that phrase. It was always said right after you asked for something and you knew the answer was going to be NO. It is right up there with "eat your vegetables there are starving children in Biafra". Did you know that Biafra no longer exists? I wonder what they did with all of the starving children? "Mom can I have the new 100 GB, color, video, talking, walking, breathing, reproducing, neon IPhone"? "No, count your blessings, there are starving children in Biafra". But as I get older, I realized that counting your blessings might be a good thing. So today, as I am blogging, chatting, and playing music very loud, I will count. 1. I am quite happily divorced. There is no one to cook for, clean for, listen to, or "love, honor, and OBEY". My fiance and I broke up because I refused to be submissive just because I'm the woman....(the EMPLOYED woman). I no longer have to ASK to take a nap nor do I have to hear "lazy A&&" muttered under someone's breath. Short of murder, divorce is the next best thing. 2. I have two wonderful children and a magnificent, incomparable grandson. There is my 22 year old daughter who lives on her own with my perfect, nearly 3 year old grandchild and my 14 year old son who lives with his dad. But that isn't the best part. The best part is that I no longer have to take care of them. The first one takes care of HER child and for all practical purposes the second one takes care of himself. As for my grandson, I only take care of him when I want to. Therefore if I choose to blog and chat and listen to loud music all day, no one goes dirty or starving except me. 3. I moved back in with my folks last year after a disastrous job change and house purchase which I personally feel took a rather manageable case of FM and turned it into this monster I have today. This is a mutually beneficial relationship. We all take care of each other. And I have the most money so I can throw it at problems when necessary. Since I've decided I will never move again, if I DO find another man (the two I've already found pretty much did me in), he will have to meet with their approval, live by MY rules, and move in with us . 4. If I chose to go to bed on Friday after work and get up Monday morning for work, no one cares. My mom comes in periodically and shakes me to make sure I haven't died and then leaves me alone. If I go straight to my room after work, no one complains. And since I spend so much time in my room, I am going to buy a very large flat panel TV. And I don't have to ASK anyone. 5. I am still able to work - most of the time. As I've said before, God blessed me with this crazy knack I seem to have for computers and it pays well. As long as I have my fingers, I'll be ok. I have already requested to be buried with a laptop AND wireless broadband connection from anywhere in the world-just in case. 6. For the most part, I still have my brain, although it is sadly declining a bit. I've decided to counter that decline and turn to something I did when I was young - write (you'll find my 'lighter' stuff on the chit-chat board). So you will be seeing a LOT of me. This DD might take my body (not my fingers, please) but I won't let it have my brain. I worked too hard to develop it. 7. I still have my teeth. This is important in the event, despite all of my pleading and protestations, that I DO lose my fingers. How would I put in my dentures? 8. I still have my sense of humor. It really helps when you come crawling through the front door of the office on Monday morning......on all fours. I'll claim a lost earring or something and crawl down to my office. I then hand my office mate a bag of Ultram and he hands me a bag of Klonopin. We work well together. I am coming to grips with the very real possibility that my working days might be drawing to a close. I've only had this professional life for 8 years. Eight short years. I often think "what if I had found my brain, my voice, my balls (no offense meant, it is a literary term), when I was young, where could I have gone with my life"? I'm NOT giving up, but even the most generous, understanding, progressive company is going to want something for their money. I will give it to them as long as I can. Blessing Number Nine? Good long term disability if I can convince them I qualify when the time comes. But I'm not there yet. 10. The biggest blessing of them all, God love you Al Gore......THE INTERNET. Before I got divorced oh so many years ago, I lived an entire lifetime in a chat room. For six months I had an online family, friends, love, sex, entertainment, laughter, compassion, advice, support, fun and much, much more. I never would have survived my divorce without it and that was a WHOLE lot harder than this little disease I've picked up. I found all that once before without ever leaving my chair and by gosh I will find it again!