daily funnies

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by daylight, May 26, 2009.

  1. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Sorry so late ....I've been sick .

    Redneck 911 Call

    A couple of redneck hunters are out in
    the woods when one of them falls to the ground.
    He doesn't seem to be breathing
    and his eyes are rolled back in his head.
    The other redneck starts to panic, then
    whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
    He frantically blurts out to the operator,
    "O my gawd! Help! My friend just died.
    He's Dead! What can I do?"
    The operator, trying to calm him says,
    "Take it easy. I can help.
    Just listen to me and follow my instructions.
    First, lets make sure he's dead."
    There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!

    The redneck comes back on the line and says, "OK, now what?"

    The Blonde
    and the Coke Machine

    There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.

    Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.

    She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mello Yello. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.

    "Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning"

  2. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

    A man walks into a bar, carrying a set of jumper cables.
    The bartender eyes him warily & says:
    "Don't you come in here trying to start something!"

  3. daylight

    daylight New Member

    lolololol goood one!
  4. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

    A dog limps into a bar in a small Texas town & angrily announces:
    "I'm lookin fer the man who shot my paw!"


    Your turn! LOL!
  5. daylight

    daylight New Member

    My pastor had a men's bible study and they got bored "I think?"

    My hubby is in this , he's the one playing the guitar. I keep him around for comic relief. But now he's a utube celeb. lol

    heres the link to the Horchaca song . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoN08wOkCRk&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fhome.php%3F&feature=player_embedded
    [This Message was Edited on 05/26/2009]
  6. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

    Unfortunatly, I'm on dial-up & sometimes can't get YouTube to function properly. I'll keep trying!

    I'm boycotting the only company in my area that has the monopoly on broadband. Our mayor-for-life is apparently in their pocket.
    That's not why I'm boycotting, tho. That's another story entirely.

    Todays' Funny:
    Why don't blondes like eating M&M's?...
    They're too hard to peel!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    I heard the governor is gonna make possession of fly-swatters illegal, here in KY. After all, it IS illegal to kill the state bird!!!!!!!!!!!!

    LOL[This Message was Edited on 05/27/2009]