Darn it is a hot night and my legs are aching so much

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Jul 25, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I wish someone could explain to me why my legs are aching all the time. And they get worse in the evening. I feel hard knots in my calves and the muscles jump and spasam and twitch, it hurts some times.

    I was reading some of the posts and I think that I have developed some scar tissue after my gall bladder surgery and after my last female surgery to put my bladder in it place and to fix some other things.

    But some times I can feel these huge knots in my tummy and up by the scars from the gall bladder surgery. I took twice as long to heal from the last couple of surgeries than I used to do.
    Maybe it is because I am getting older and don't bounce back like I once did.

    There is so much going on in my life these days and sometimes I really don't know how I am going to cope and I seem to get more emotional more than I want to be. I cry at the drop of a hat and sometimes for no real reason at all.

    And this mysterious MACK TRUCK that keeps kitting and flattening me is real.. Or it feels like it could be. I have hit by this mack truck so many times that I have tire tracks on my legs. "THAT MUST BE WHY THEY HURT ALL THE TIME NOW. And I just didn't get it. Must be the fog.

    Life is so different when you have fibro and several other conditions. WE don't look at life like every one else does. We have more compassion for everyone and we will always listen to some one who just needs some one to talk with.

    We have had to learn what is going on with this Fibro and learn about all the new things that have been discovered to help us . Having fibro I have had to learn that while I can't work I still have much worth. I am a woman who has 3 daughters from 28 to 21,and then there are the grandbabies 2 .5 so far. Well one is ont a baby just short he is 8 yrs old now. Looks just like his daddy.

    I have a husband who has diebeties and I have had to learn how to not say things about what he is eating as it bugs him. The things in my life that were so important are not now. LIfe has changed so much for me.

    I had so many goals that I wanted to do and then life happened , and the goal changed , I became a Dental Assistant instead of a LPN and worked for 15 yrs and loved it. I miss it so much. I have always wanted to be in the health proffesions as I wanted to beable to help others.
    I did that and I liked being the dental assistant. And I was good at my job.

    But do to problems at home I had to quit and by the time I was ready to go back my tranning was really dated. So I did other things, I have been a receptionist for a Dentist, I have worked in retail twice.And I found that my patience is not what it once was.

    I wonder if it is from all the pain I live with? Or just being older, But nothing bugs me more than small kids taht run through the store with out their parents paying attention to what they are doing.

    I was at wallmart the other day , I was in a cart so I could drive around and not pay for the long walk later on .
    I had the hardest time not running over the small children who parents were not paying attention to them runnign up and down the isles and trying to stop me from moving and it I asked them to move they went off crying and this parent wants to know what i did to the kids and I said to her .
    <"They were running up and down the ilse's and no one was with them, they were running in to carts like mine to see if the person would stop for them or hit them." I would never hit a child but it is really hard as some of the carts don't stop very fast.

    The parents were a bit upset with the child but really did nothing and soon they were doing it again. Am I being mean? Do I have to high of an expection of parents to day?
    When my girls were little they stayed by my cart and the youngset one was in the cart sitting down.

    The girls didn't run around or they would get taken out side and we would go home. I didn't put up with things like the kids running up the isles and running and screamming and no one to make them behave. I wanted to teach my girls that they needed to be respectful to others and to beheave in public.

    As my life has chagned and I am in pain all the time I try to just do as little as I have to do uptown and I respect others and don't flatten the kdis that are running into the cart I am in.

    Having to live my life in pain has make me took at my life diffenrtly. The things I once took for granted like walking and running I can't do any more .Well the running is out and the walking is hard to do anda causes me alot of pain. I want my lfe to be more normal and not so stressed and to be able to do the things I need to do. And it is harder than i thought it would be.

    LIfe is harder than I thought it would be at 50. I have had to admit that I need help to get around a store. Because if I walk around Walmart I will pay for it for days possiably longer.

    Where I would walk around the park and the fairs I can't do any more as I can't stand the LOUD NOICE'S. Like small children yelling for no reason, the LOUD SPEAKERS ARE TOO LOUD AND I FEEL LIKE I AM BEING YELLED AT. IT HURTS ME SO MCUH.

    Is it just me or do people just let the little kids 5 and younger to wander off and they don't keep track of them at all. I see this so often that it worries me. What if there was some one who wanted to harm them they are right there and the parents aren't.

    When life has become so differnt tahn you wanted it to be you see things that you once didn't see. And the things that you always did with the kids hanging off you , like walking around that parks. and taking the kids swimming now I don't do.

    But then my kids are older and have kids of their own.But they don't want to take me to the pool as they know that some small child will be running aorund and I will be the perosn that will get creamed as they flatten me while running aournd the pool.I don't need little unattened kids for me to trip and fall down as I can do it on my own all the time. And the only person I hurt is me not squishing a small child.

    When I do go to the pool it is to try adn get some of my abilities back so that I can walk longer adn with more ease. and with less pain. I want to be a fun grandma and I am scared that I will not be one. AS I won't be able to take them to the pool and have a fun day with Grandma.

    I want so much to help my youngest daughter with this new baby she is expecting in Januaray. But I can't pick up her little boy now any was as he weighs more than I can lift. I would like to be able to go the hosptial and take my grandson who will be 22 months old when this new baby gets here, I want to take him home to his house and let his mommy and daddy get aquainted with this new baby.

    I thought that it was so sweet of my Mother and my MIL who came over to my house while I was in the hospital and cleaned the house from top to bottom and had fresh sheets on my bed and the bed made up and all the dishes done.

    My hosue was so clean and I could come home fromthe hospital to a clean house adn not have to worry about the mess it is in as friends and family come over to see this new baby. MY MOther will not be able to do this for my daughter as MOM is 79.

    And I am limited as to how much I can lift and what I can do to clean the house .There will be NO vaccumming, sweeping,picking the little one up adn down, makeing beds, all the things that I want to do to make her comming home better and for her to be able to rest and not be stressed as people come to her house.

    This was not what I thought I would be able to do at 50 yrs old. I thought that i would be able to do what ever I wanted to do.

    And I can't. But as I try to keep the thoughts that there are things I can do for her. LIke having her sisters take a day off and help me clean her house , make the beds and do the dishes, All with her permission.

    AS I don't want to up set her or her husband. SA it did mine when my mom came over to clean up the house after I had babies.

    I need to be albe to get up and move around more. I am going to start a hydro fut class in teh poo; in the deep end adn use the floats so that I can mayb e got some better balance so that I may be able to help her in some way. EVen if it cooking casseroles for her dinners for a week after she gets home.

    So all her husband has to do is heat it up and put it one plates and sit the little one down for his dinner. And make sure that his wife eats too.
    I will drive to her home in Odgen and take the frozen dinners to her house with instructions as how to reheat them.
    Tha way she won't have to worry about fixing diners and feeding the new baby and her toddler. As well as her husband who some times CAN't Do THINGS LIKE FIX DINNER UNLESS IT IT HOTDOGS AND BUNS.

    Her hubby can't understand that you still must cut up the hot dog for the toddler to eat and that if you want your wife to be happy putting six hotdogs in the microwave is not goint to do it.

    I want to be there for her and to help her with the new baby but I live a hours drive away and this new baby will be born in winter Jan of 2007.And we get really bad wind , snow, blowing, raining, bad roads , slippery roads too. So getting to her house on a daaaaily babis is OUT. I can't dive that far each day adn I can't clean up her house each day for her and keep my grandson entertained so taht his om and new baby cna rest.

    All the things that I had done for me as a new mother I can't do for my own daughter adn it upsets me. So what do i do? How can I be of help for her when I cna't lift , stand, pick up , drive long disttances. How will I be able to help her get some rest when she needs it. And she will. She is having MIL problmems that are really bad and unnesarey too. His family is closer to them but they still have little kids as young as 3 years old adn you know kids , if ones gets sick they all do.

    For some strange reason she will just drop over to my daughters house with sick kids and not tell her that one of the little ones has been throwing up all night and another has a bad cold. This is not what she iwll need come Jan, aS it is in the hieght of RSV season.

    I have given her some suggetions .I said that she should tell people to call before they come over and if anyone under14 year s old is there then please leave the little ones at home with a older brother or sister. And for evey one else ,

    I told her that i would get her some maskes and some hand sanitzer to put on their hands before touching the baby. That way if they have been around little kids who may have a cold and it is just starting. That the parents will wear the mask to protect the baby and not to sperad germs around my grandson and the new baby.

    I would really just like to spend a few weeks with her to help her take canre of the new baby adn my grandson adn her hubby and let her get a rest from having this baby.

    I want to be alot of help for her and I can only do small things at a time. I want to do the ho=uge things to but can't as tehy would only cause me pain. I want to be some hlpe for her adn not a problem and having her wo rry taht while I was cleaning her hose that I end up adn hurt my self.

    There are so many things that i want to do to help my girls adn I cna't do them I want to be a hlep for her, I want to be the old me who can do things that will not cacuse me to be in more pain all the time.

    This daughter has come to understand that I really can't lift as it hurts me. I want to take care of her not her take care of me.
    Am I making scense? I know that it is late and i have mixed up topics and I don't know if I am making any scense.

    I still miss the old me. The one who could help her out more, and to do all the things taht she neded to haev sopme help with.

    Yhe one who could do things like i want to do for her for most people are really easy but for me they rare not easy at all.

    I jsut want to do some of the things I did in a past life time. I want to beable to help my daughter like she has helped me. I know that each day I have horriable legs that ache and hurt and I am on major pain meds too. And it is scary to hand over a new born to grandma who is on pain meds al the time.
    I just want to be nromal again and It is not going to happen again. It is not going to happend to me but I wish it would.

    All I want is to be usefull once more. Adn I don't feel I can't do the things like vacumm in my house let alone hers so I am just out of luckanymore. How can I be usefull if I can't clean my own house, I sure can't get her house cleaned up too. How I miss that old me but I am startign to feel like there may be someting I can do to help her.

    OH What I would give to be nroaml and to be the grandmother that I want to be. I so want to give my grandkids everutings all the time, I want them to be happy and to feel loved by me and their grandpa. But i am not normal any more. I will just have to adjust I guess.

    OK I am done reambling on and not amking any scense any more.
    Thanks for letting me vent and whine.
  2. findmind

    findmind New Member

    rose, are you sitting/lying down a lot?

    It sounds to me like your blood is pooling in your extremities which can indicte too much sitting or lying down.

    Even tho we hurt and must pace, we also must move around a little bit evey 2 hrs or so, to force the blood throughout our bodies.

    Look, I know you want to be there for your daughter, but they will be ok. they will find their own way of doing things, and the kids will be fine.

    When they do visit you, sit on comfy couch with them and read to them. My grandkids loved this so much, when they came over they brought stacks of books.

    Mom didn't have time to read to them much, so they really liked it.

    I also played with their toys from my bed sometimes, and took naps with them. They really like that, naps with grandma.

    You can think of lots of things to do with them, put your thinking cap on, it'll come to you what you are able to do; they will love anything.

    Now my 9 y.o. grson loves monopoly. We play it every time he comes over and it is so much fun. He learned to count money this way, too!

    It will be alright, rose. Don't put yourself down. Many a grandchild has had disabled grparents and turned out with close relationships anyway...maybe even better because they learn understaning and compassion.

    Give em what you've got, however little, they will love you for it. As they get older, stories of your childhood and life just fascinate them.

    Hang on, none of us are the same as we were, but that doesn't mean we can't actually be better than we were!

    There's always hope!
  3. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    parents today not all but alot of them just do not pay attention to anyone but themselves....maybe...we have so many drug and alcohol addicted mothers giving birth....

    yes i hope they come up w/a cure so our emotional and physical beings are put to normal again...

    lots of hugs

  4. littlbird

    littlbird New Member

    Hi Rosemarie,

    I just wanted to tell you I read your email, and I had a thought that might encourage you a little. When I was a little kid, I never expected my grandma to run around with me - I always just wanted her there to talk to. We used to have "chats" as she called them. I loved it! She would tell me about her life and her husband and where she used to live and about all sorts of things. I understood that her legs ached and that she couldn't jump up and run with me, but I didn't care. She used to have little strawberry candies for me too. But I was so happy just to sit with her and talk. I just wanted to tell you that so you don't feel like you won't be a good grandma, or a normal one.

    Also, I want you to know I understand about the kids in the store. I don't have fibro, but I know what it is like to feel overwhelmed by noises and people getting upset with you and when things are crazy. People can be really annoying. I say that with a smile, but it is true - and lots of them don't understand what it is like to be sensitive or in pain.

    I will pray for you tonight, and hopefully you will get some relief.