1. Zoepants2013

    Zoepants2013 Member

    So for us single people. I am in pain all the time, and the last thing I want is someone touching me or cuddling me...too painfull.
    That being said, I am lonely. I want to feel close to someone.
    How can I possibly be dateable?
    Any suggestions on first date activity?
    Any feedback on your own experiences? How to get past this?
  2. Alyssa-Admin

    Alyssa-Admin Active Member

    Hi there, I know several friends who are in the same situation. They went on to dating sites and stated that they have FM/ME and pointed out all their good points, but mentioned about the touching. My mother also has FM (although she never told me until 8 years ago, which lead me to get my DX) and she would never let anyone hug her (too bad she didn't explain why!).

    But I do think that there ARE things that can be done...it is just finding the right way. Is it too painful for someone to hold your hand? For me, snuggling up to my husband, with a cushion on his lap watching a movie is do-able. I know, I know...it is a hard one.

    And then there is the other thing....SEX. Interestingly, there are a few great websites about sex and being disabled...maybe have a scoobie there.

    Hey - there is always the option of setting up a Facebook page in regards to lonely FM/CFSers to connect! Where there is a will there is a way.

    I know 2 people who connected on my facebook group...she is now pregnant and they are getting married.

    I know that touching is all part of being with another person....but, there are ALWAYS ways to show that you care about them, love them and are grateful that they are in your life. Little presents and sweet things go a long way. Honest.

    For me, Low Dose Naltrexone lowered my pain level in regards to allodynia. I can actually shower now without it feeling like hot daggers attacking me.

    My suggestion? Set up a Lonely Hearts FM and ME/CFS Group on Facebook. You might get some interesting nibbles...as well as also help other people who are in a similar situation as you...because I can assure you - you are far from being alone.

    Even though you might connect with someone on the other side of the world...things can happen! They did for me! I met my husband online when living in Victoria, BC, Canada and he was in London, UK. We met July 1st 2000, he came over for Christmas and it was then that I booked my one way ticket to the UK, sold my restaurant and catering companies, gave away the cat and packed my life into a large hockey duffle bag and arrived in London Valentine's Day 2001. We were married in May 2001...and still going strong!

    WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY....but sometimes you have to be the one who CREATES the way!

    A.x