Daughters Graduation and advice needed

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by springwater, Mar 13, 2008.

  1. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    My daughter graduated her Alevels and is awaiting college admissions...

    my question is...to parents or siblings of college going kids.and indeed to all others ...what did your kids mostly do during the period of waiting between giving exams and going off to college?

    My daughter is at a loose ends...i havent let her join any organisation as an intern or anything because ive asked her to help out her brother with his upcoming exams, but there are free moments in between and i dont want her watching tv or surfing net all the time.

    Any ideas for constructive usage of her time? Im clinically depressed and i get uncomfortable to let her be around me when im feeling down and not being productive.

    Some of her classmates have joined newspapers and some are interning but she cant give 8 hours to a job just now since she's helping her brother.

    I tried uploading her graduation pic on my profile but it doesnt seem to be working so ive created a flicker page where ive posted her pic and some of the dances and things the juniors held for graduationday - at this site...


    God Bless

  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    I looked at the pictures. Looks like the kids are having lots of fun.

    I don't really know what's available where you are. Would it be agreeable to work for no pay? Surely someplace, theater, school, bookstore, would be glad to have someone to help out for a few hours, not necessarily full time.

    My son worked at a Dominos Pizza store between high school and college. He was 17 years old and the Day Manager. Now he is all grown up w/ a family and makes more money than his father ever did.

    Hope you and your daughter can find something. If not, maybe some project she would like. A photo/scrapbook of your town? A history of your family? Start reading on some of the subjects she will have in college? College bookstore might be helpful on what to read.

    Good luck

  3. frosty77

    frosty77 New Member

    In the US, most kids have to work before college in order to pay for it and/or for spending money. Some parents (not many), allow their graduate to do nothing and to enjoy their last summer of freedom - but, in general, most need to work.

    I'm not sure how college operates in your country. If money to pay for it is not an issue and your daughter does not need to work for money, then is there someone else she can help - maybe another relative? Is volunteering her time to some organization an option?

    It's tough keeping teens occupied constructively - best of luck, and good luck to you daughter on her college admissions!!
  4. laceymae

    laceymae New Member

    Congrates on your daughter going to college.

    My daughter worked at McDonalds the summer between high school and college. She didn't like it, but it let her see what she would be doing for the rest of her life if she didn't apply herself and get a degree.

    She has been on the Dean's list the last 4 semesters. She is majoring in Elementary Education.

    Sure am proud of her.
  5. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    Rockgor, Frosty and Laceymae

    Thank you so much for your inputs and for the good wishes. Its extremely hard to get part time jobs here..our country is going thru economic crisis so....I wouldnt mind her not getting paid..tho it would be nice if she could earn enough for her spending money..kids these days seem to need such a lot of pocket money...going out to eat and movies and stuff.

    Rockgor, it must feel so good to have your son all grown up and independent. Im looking forward to both my kids achieving that.

    Frosty, my husband says he can just about afford the fees but with his young brother and my son also to put thru college, would be nice if daughter could earn a little. Her best friend who graduated with her and is a US citizen is already in the USA now and working at a department store and enjoying it hugely. If our daughter does go abroad to study she will be expected to earn her tuition at least. No way can we afford to pay the full fees.

    Laceymae - I wish my daughter were as smart as yours; making the Deans list like that all those years! Daughter is all right but not the brightest, lol. Since we parents werent toppers ourselves we dont expect that out of our kids. She did get an A in English Literature and Bs for the rest in Business subjects with a C for Advanced Math. Not great but good. However, her classmate has the distinction of scoring highest WORLDWIDE for English Literature and another for Psychology which is really an achievement, considering Nepal is considered one of the most backward countries.

    Their teachers are over the moon.

    Thank you all for your suggestions. She takes salsa classes some days of the week and wil be looking into some courses the British Council here offers like Public Speaking etc. Once her brothers exams end, she wil hopefully get somewhere to work properly or volunteer also.

    God bless

  6. kjade

    kjade New Member

    First, congratulations on your daughter graduating and going to college! That is a big step. You must be very proud! You made me laugh when you said you and your dh were not "toppers"! Where do you come up with these words?

    Well, as you know, my children are still very small, so I don't know what advice I can offer to your question. But my first thought was, could she work someplace, like a clothing store, where she could make a little extra spending money AND get discounts on great new clothes? But then I saw your 2nd post about jobs being hard to come by where you are.

    What type of jobs are available there for young kids just graduating high school? What if she were not going off to college - are there jobs for HS grads just starting out on their own?

    When I graduated HS, my parents couldn't afford to send me to college, even though I passed all the required exams here with flying colors - and I was accepted to every school I applied to. While in HS, I worked PT at the mall, which was great cause all the kids hung out there. I made enough $$ to pay my dad for my car insurance and gas. Then I had a little left over for my "going out" money. Then after HS, I went to an employment agency and got a job in an office. The rest is history.

    I did go to college on my own for a short while - I wanted to be a police detective - but that didn't pan out (long story).

    Back to your situation.....can she do something like babysitting or helping the elderly in a nursing home or something? What does she LIKE to do?

    Sorry...I may not be much help here. Cause I don't know what is there for kids where you are. I hope she is able to figure out something. It's nice she is taking salsa classes though - keeps her busy and out of trouble!!
  7. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    Congratulations on having a daughter who is a graduate and off to University! She is a beautiful girl and, if that's you in the bottom picture, she as a beautiful mother.

    It sounds to me as though you both have planned her time well. She can't get up to too much mischief in just a little bit of free time even if it's on the computer. The classes she plans to take once her brother has sat his exams sound like a good idea too.

    I would be very proud of her grades, too. (Let's be fair, math is a gift one has or one does not, don't you agree. I do not :~) Does she speak Nepali (and Hindi?) as well as English? How remarkable that a student in a school in Nepal got tops marks, globally, for English Literature and psychology! It must be excellent school with very high standards which makes her good grades even more impressive.

    You live in my favourite part of the world. I have not been to Nepal but I spent a lot of time in India in the 1990s. I miss that part of the world very much. Were I able to go back... I should say, when I am able to go back, I would very much like to go to Nepal. I am an avid student of Buddhism and would find the ancestral home of Siddhartha a most fascinating place to be. I think you are most fortunate to live in a place with such a rich and ancient culture.

    Congratulations once again!


    At some future time, I'd like to ask you if ME/CFS is much of a problem in that part of the world. I used to do work that included women's health care in South Asia and I'd be very interesting in hearing if this is a growing problem. But, you be a proud mum for a while first.

    [This Message was Edited on 03/14/2008]
  8. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    kjade and rafiki

    thank you for your responses

    kjade, you were such a responsible young girl, I just hope my daughter also turns out like that. 'Topper' means one who gets the highest marks in that particular subject. Or overall. KInd of leading the class. Its a very common term here. It was good to read about your earlier days. I am always interested in how others went thru their lives. A police detective? That was a surprise. You would have made one goodlooking detective tho, i bet criminals would have willingly jumped into your net. Lol. But jokes apart, I find it fascinatng the variety of career options available for yuong people in the US.

    Rafiki - Thank you for your kind comments about my daughter. Oh and no, the lady is her Principal, not me. She is a beautiful lady and person.

    You know about Nepal! Yes, India is a fascinating country - I was born and educated there. My best memories are of my times growing up in India. There was this English missionary called Dr John Graham who came to Eastern India (Darjeeling side) and built a school for Anglo Indian orphans in 1900. I went to that school, the Swiss Government paid for my education because my father was a refugee from Tibet.

    Nepal too is beautiful but undergoing terrible crisis due to the ongoing political instability. You ask about CFS. I have not heard about this disorder here. I am sure there are sufferers but since they cannot put a name to it...no one knows. They probably think its a malevolent spirit or something. Depression is just getting recognized but only amongst sufferers - the docs here were surprised as hell i coud put a name to what i suffered from. I can imagine the plight of a daughter in law in the remote areas if she suffered from Fibro and couldnt work in the fields or house, her life would be hell. She'd catch it from her inlaws.

    I could make enquiries about how prevalent this is here if you want to know. Maybe ask some doctors or something. It would be terrible for someone to hve to go thru a disorder with everyone else scoffing at them because they dont understand it.

    Did you see CNN and the unrest going on in Tibet with some 2000 people uprising and demanding Chinese leave Tibet? The Chinese are soooooo sensitive about anyone knowing anything at all about their invasion of China - they are not allowing any foreign cameras inside Lhasa. If some Head of State even dares to agree to meet The Dalai Lama,they start shitting bricks. I too hope yu can come back to the East someday. Lumbini (birthplace of The Buddha) has been restored and is kept relatively well these days. His philosophies are sooooo relevant in nowadays times. The meditations he has taught help me a lot to cope with my depression.

    God Bless

    [This Message was Edited on 03/14/2008]
  9. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    A very quick reply because it's just after 1 am and I will find this topic so stimulating that I would not be able to get to sleep at all if I let myself think very much about it now!

    I am as active as I can be in the effort to Free Tibet. I am a follower of His Holiness and love him deeply. He was here not too long ago and I was in the audience in a huge arena. It is the second time I have seen and heard him.

    I have taken part in demonstrations but was not well enough to take part this year. I was in the streets with the Tibetan community of Toronto when Hu Jintao was here. I have written letters, signed petitions... I find it all more than a little heartbreaking, to tell the truth.

    Yes, I am very worried about what is happening in Tibet right now, today. I hold my breath for them. And, I breathe for them. It is very worrying.

    You see, there I go! What does it matter if one silly Canadian woman sleeps when Lhasa is in turmoil. But then, what will it benefit Tibet if I do not?

    I hope we will talk more. I would love to hear more of your story if you would be willing to share.