day 2

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by NewEnglander, Oct 4, 2008.

  1. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    I spent the whole day yesterday with my dad and two of my sister's.

    I made sure that the aide's gave him his meds and my husband helped get him ready for bed.

    this morning when I woke up, well I remember being sad, and then it hit me. oh yeah, my mother's gone. and I couldn't stop shaking.

    so I called the nursing home to check on my father, he was not doing to well.

    so I went to the hospital to get my med's, my blood pressure has been high since my fill in doc took me off my meds.
    so they increased another med that I hate.

    then my husband and I went to the nursing home to spend time with my father, we took him out to eat in nice quiet restaurant.

    so as a family the three of us sat down to a home cooked italian dinner, (were italian, so 'comfort food')

    we were able to eat because we were together, then on the way back, I stopped at a fruit stand and bought some fresh corn and tomatoes.

    went home, cooked the corn up for that nights dinner to bring back to the home, well my fahter's demeanor had completely changed,

    he had the big haunted eyes again

    the nurse forgot to give him his anti anxioty meds, so I called them on that, they also forget his pain med's and I took care of that, still no one had made his med, so I made it.

    I tried to work on my mother's picture board, couldn't make anything special out of that. but wanted to do that with my father.

    his mind was all over the place, he has early alshimer.

    but I couln't do it because I had to use my mother's bed to do it on. so hard.

    and my father is going crazy in the room with my mother's empty bed there.

    not one of my sister's called to see how he was doing. not surprised.

    my father is talking about moving out and moving to florida, getting a job. he's saying that stuff again.

    anywAY, i never got a chance to pray today, maybe my husband will pray with me.

    I want to Lord to either put him in a room alone as he doesn't want any room mates

    or put him in a room with a nice gentleman who could be a good friend to my father.

    I think I need to pray for his salvation so if the Lord wants to take him home to be with my mother he will be ready to go to heaven, my father is 88

    but I know that I will have to spent a whole lot of days with him. he just can't be alone.

    I'm still in shock but get these sharp pains of reality that my mother is gone, that hurts.

    I just feel so cold inside. can't explain it.

    but my younger son needs me to, he's been suffering from depression and I need to find a doctor for myself and a dentist soon. when I get the time,

    my husband was going to go back to the work tommorow but I begged him not too. thank God for him.

    thank God for you too.

    still waiting to wake up from this bad dream, but its not happening.

    I also decided to change doctor's for my father as his old doctor decided out of the clear blue to take my father off his pain meds

    this has also caused my father lots of suffering, but I won't give up till my father gets the treament he needs

    my mother's funeral is tuedays.

    thank you for listening

    God love you

  2. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    everyone has been so kind.

    I don't feel strong though and have not even had a moment to pray, can't find the words right now.

    thank you for saying my mother is proud of me, that made me cry but in a good way.

    I just wonder why this is happening all at once. it feels like I'm surrounded in darkness, everything feels so cold to me, in my heart I mean, but visualy everything looks dark.

    I don't know why

    I know I need to find a doc quick, I do need my anti depressants now.

    God be with you

    love lisa
  3. kbak

    kbak Member

    Lisa For whatever brain dead reason I didn't realize your dad was the one in the nursing home that you mentioned before. This seems to be an increasing problem with me which is scary. So please excuse my last post it must have seemed very offensive. I'm so sorry for the pain your going through! Please forgive me.

  4. Nanie46

    Nanie46 Moderator


    I am continuing to pray for you and your family. God is always present and will see you through all of this.

    Losing a close family member is probably the most stressful thing that can happen in our lives. You sound like you are doing the very best that you can right now.

    Just keep praying for strength and peace.

    Your Mom is in her glory in Heaven. She is perfect and happy. Our time on this earth is but a blink of an eye compared to spending eternity in Heaven. Thank God for giving you wonderful parents. You will be reunited someday when your Heavenly Father calls you. I picture her greeting you at the gates of Heaven someday. The description of Heaven in the book "90 Minutes in Heaven" by Don Piper, sounds so glorious.

    Just take each day, hour, minute, one at a time. You will have good and bad times. I think the best thing you can do is keep praying.

    Maybe frequent visits to your Dad from a minister/priest would help him cope.

    I'll be thinking about you, especially on Tuesday. That same day I will be taking my Son-In-Law to Pittsburgh for a liver biopsy. I am praying constantly that the lesions on his liver are nothing serious. My Grandsons are just little...2 and 4 1/2 yrs old.

  5. lrning2cope

    lrning2cope New Member

    Please know that you are in my prayers too. It seems like you have been burdened with so much lately. I am so glad that you are not giving up until your father gets the treatment he needs. God bless you for being an advocate for him.

    Dear Lord , please surround Lisa with Your love. Please give her a peace that surrounds her and is in her heart and soul . Let her know that You love her so much . Give her a clear vision of what to do when it needs to be done. Carry her when she can no longer walk on her own through these challenging days to come. Be with her at her mothers' funeral and hold her up with Your loving hands. Lord , I pray this in Jesus Holy name , Amen and Amen

    In His Grace,
  6. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    my thanks to each and everyone of you

    I feel as if I'm walking on your prayers right now.

    love you always