dealing with difficult people/scenarios

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by vbjess, Aug 19, 2005.

  1. vbjess

    vbjess New Member

    I recently moved back to school and am beginning my second year as a Resident Assistant. Last year, I was on a really big staff, so it was pretty easy to avoid the topic of medication, illness, etc.

    This year, my staff is less than half the size of last year, and it's killing me not to tell them that I have CFIDS as well as the GERD, IBS, R.A., etc. However, I'm pretty sure that some of my staff is just NOT going to understand. I know they already think that I'm slacking off in a lot of areas of my job (when in reality I've gotten more done than they have simply because I was able to get ahead over the summer since I know what I'm doing), but there isn't a whole lot I can do about it. I need more sleep than most people and I can't always physically work as quickly.

    Tonight, I felt like I was being ganged up on when we were trying to schedule a meeting... the only nights anyone were talking about were Sunday and Monday nights. Now, I try to avoid scheduling anything on a Sunday night a) because it's usually my only day off, and b)when I can manage the 4-hour drive home, I hate rushing back to sit through somebody's meeting. The last thing I feel like doing right now is trying to tweak other people's attitudes, but I also feel like the people I work with might just be a little spoiled, and really, how much CAN I do about that??

    I still need to sit down and talk to my boss about my CFIDS and related illnesses, and I am really dreading it.

    ANyone have any tips for these situations?

    Thanks in advance,
  2. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    Maybe instead of talking to your boss about CFS, why not first try telling him that you put enough hours into this and you need what little free time you have for other activities.

    If you do decide to talk to him, I think I would not mention all of your problems, maybe emphasize the RA. People understand RA, but don't always know anything about CFS and related problems.

    That is a lot to ask of a person to drive back 4 hours for a meeting! These people are taking advantage of you and you need to set them straight! If I remember correctly, being a RA did not pay very well if at all. Do you get paid, or is it a room and board type of thing?

    Take care, Sally
  3. vbjess

    vbjess New Member

    I've talked to my boss about it since I posted, and she seems to be fairly understanding and told me that if it became a problem we could change the time.

    It's still irritating though, but I don't expect special treatment from other people.

    No, I do not recieve room and board... just $400 per month. It's enough to cover living expenses and ensures that I have my own room, but that's about it.

    [This Message was Edited on 08/22/2005]
  4. naturebaby

    naturebaby New Member

    Omigosh! I can't imagine driving 4 hours home after a meeting, even in perfect health! That's just plain unreasonable, and asking you to attend meetings on a Sunday when it's your day off is also unreasonable.

    Is there any reason why you couldn't attend a meeting (on a reasonable day and time) by conference call? Any presentations and notes could be emailed to you in advance, so you would have all the materials.

    As for telling them, I wouldn't say a word until you absolutely need to. You may think "they think" you're slacking off, but don't borrow trouble by bringing it up. Wait until they ask to talk to you (which, who knows, they might not!)

    Then I would respond with "I am dealing with a number of health issues right now. Do you feel they are affecting my performance significantly? If so, I'd be happy to get you a letter from my doctor outlining what I can and cannot do".......

    OOOOO this kind of stuff steams me up, and is one reason why I don't miss my job much! (Sorry, NOT venting at you, venting at this workaholic society we live in!)

    Please take good care of YOU and let us know how you make out. Wishing you well! nature