dealing with fibro and family

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by SophiaCombs, Jun 24, 2008.

  1. SophiaCombs

    SophiaCombs New Member

    Hi I am new to this site and have been reading some of the posted messages. I just fell apart. I have fibromyalgia, no thyroid or para-thyroid, osteoarthritis, irritable bowel syndrome and even though I did not test positive for RA my doc feels I do have it because of the changes in my hand and feet. I am really struggling when I read that some of you like to be alone to deal with all this I just cried. I have a large family my kids are all in there late teens only two at home but they have just graduated. They all ask me questions and I hate having to say mom's not well again today. Sometimes It truly is easier to be alone. But I feel like I am letting everyone down. Not to mention that we have a cattle ranch and I was the one training horses. My horses have always been my therapy in bad times but now even they suffer from lack of work.
    How do you give up what you have done all your life what you love ?
  2. gettingwell

    gettingwell New Member

    I know how hard this it is - I am relatively new to CFS and I still can't believe that this is my life. I used to be such an active person and now, well, I am just exhausted all the time.

    There are people here who understand what you are going through.

    May I ask why you got your thyroid and parathyroid removed? I have both of mine removed in 2006 b/c of thyroid cancer (before the CFS symptoms).

    GW
  3. katiebug61

    katiebug61 New Member

    I have also felt like a real failure because I don't feel good and can't make supper or go outside to watch something. IT is hard for them to understand how we feel. You just have to pace yourself and NOT overdo on your good days. My treatment is helping me and I have finally started having good days. The only thing is that when I have a good day, I realize how bad the bad days really are. I hope that makes some kind of sense. I tried to overdo when I had a good day and boy, did I really pay for that. I just learned, to take it easier so that I don't pay for it and I have had more good days. Try printing off those letters and posts about ways to explain FM & CFS. They are pretty awesome articles and GREAT ways to get the family to understand. Hang in there. Continue to love on your horses. I go out in my gardern and it helps me so much more than sitting in the house. Don't give up!!!!!
  4. SophiaCombs

    SophiaCombs New Member

    I also had thyroid cancer they removed my thyroid in 2001 then a year later my para-thyroids that had been transplanted quit. Slowly all these other "conditions" crept in. I have been told there is a link to having lost your thyroid/parathyroid glands and fibro....but they don't know why. This has gotten very frustrating for me. To top it off my memory or cloudy thinking what ever you want to call it is effecting everyone. Sometimes when I forget things my family looks at me with piti or confusion I know my husband has told our kids "don't say anything it upsets mom" I know they all mean well.
  5. lvjesus

    lvjesus Member

    I feel the same way about having to say Mom is not feeling well again. I feel guilty about not being able to do for them or help them. You know how it is when you are the Mom. Everyone comes to you for help and sometimes you just can't.

    I was in remission for about a year and it seems like the attitude I always wanted them to have before, they have now. Both my husband and my daughter are very understanding and my husband really seems to "get it" about resting not helping, about doing some things just to feel productive even when you feel like crap.

    Here is a suggestion. Do small things for them. Last night I felt bad after driving my husband around to the doctor all day but I made a homesyle bake for dinner (5 mins to prepare and bake for 30) and then brought some to my husband and some to my daughter in her room cause she loves to eat there!

    She was happy and felt good that I had done something nice for her even though I did not feel well. She said thanks Mom. I know you don't feel good.

    The other thing is that it takes a lot of getting used to, this DD, for you and everyone.
  6. CanBrit

    CanBrit Member

    You have quite a lot on your plate. It's so very hard to come to grips with conditions that affect every day of our lives. I know call my life "the new normal". I'm fortunate that I'm still working, thanks to a combo of both natural and prescription products. But...the writing is on the wall. I'm not sure how much longer I can do it.

    The virus that kicked off the FM in me also destroyed my thyroid. As things have rolled along, I've developed painful neuropathy in my arms and legs. Migraines are new. Fatigue gets worse and worse.

    We can only do what we can. We didn't ask to have these terrible conditions but somehow we have to come to grips with them. Try not to feel guilty. You're doing your very best. I'm sure your family sees that and want to protect you.

    I love my job and my career, but I know I've got to develop something new that will give me satisfaction when I have to stop. I love to cook, make my own jams and breads, garden (albeit very carefully). Who knows, maybe I'll start selling my stuff at a local farmers market?

    Do what you can and make sure to get enough rest. Fatigue makes such a mess of our minds.

    All the best,

    Eileen
  7. robin1667

    robin1667 New Member

    We all know how you feel.Feel free to vent.
    I know what you mean about your horses.I to have them in my blood,it's been very depressing to give them up.I use to train them for the race track.They were my serenity,my friends.
    Maybe you could have your kids help you with them when you have a good day or find someone who is willing to learn from you,so you can still be involved.
    Or if your able,give them a bath,groom them,anything you can do to still be a part of them.
    I don't have them due to divorce and medical problems.I became very depressed,still cry over them.The last thing I did pretaining to them was to sell my tack,this last year.I needed the money.I couldn't even talk to the man who bought it.Had my bf do it.I guess I held onto it thinking I'd be able to ride again.But I can't.It won't ever be the same without them.
    I don't mean to bring you down.Guess I'm still having a hard time dealing with the loss of not being able to be with them.But I am trying
    I just wanted you to know I understand what your going through.I haven't been able to talk to anyone about how I feel about it until now.Figured they wouldn't understand.
    It's like I have lost a part of me.But we must continue.And take one day at a time,sometimes one minute at a time. Gentle hugs,Robin