dealing with finances

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ephemera, Jan 19, 2007.

  1. ephemera

    ephemera New Member

    The past few years have been really rough in terms of money. Having to close down my business, getting rejected for SSDI, waiting another year for the judge, needing to use credit cards to finance my docs & meds, etc. has been such a squeeze.

    Ralistically, the only option my life partner & I have is to refinance our house, which we own jointly. So, this is what we are in the process of doing.

    I know my feelings of inadequacy in terms of the value society places on earning money at the same time not being able to work myself. Usually I can manage those feelings & recognize the once a year deep blue funk before, during & after tax time. Kind of like recognizing PMS symptoms.

    Getting the mortage application papers was a real jolt, however. The application had my partner's asssets & debts on one side & mine on the other. This is in spite of the fact that we share the good & the bad, the debt & the supposed assets. But in their eyes I was the side with the minus figure of -$15,000. Of course I was horrified, but that's probably 50% of what's been gobbled up in the past few years. Realistically, all my medical expenses add up to more than what we will get back after refinancing.

    We discussed my reaction & we decided to redo the application by putting both of us in one column on the extra blank page. If we were going to be judged, let us be judged together.

    This question of judgment is rough professionally, personally & emotionally. Today I felt like I kept running into a brick wall with my fatigue. I'm hoping to get a small uplift when our application goes through. Even a momentary rush would be welcome.
  2. Lynna62

    Lynna62 New Member

    Sorry you are dealing with this. I have been unable to work for the past 13 years so I know a little bit how you feel. I am grateful to be getting SSDI and that I have a husband but I still fight those feelings.....I still feel that I don't contribute as much as I used to.

    Tax time has always thrown me for a loop too. I am the one that does our taxes and I guess the reason it is hard for me is that back when I worked too we used to get a nice sized refund every year. Now that I get SSDI, part of it is taxable so our refund has been cut drastically.

    I am thinking good thoughts for you and hope your application goes thru quickly.

  3. ephemera

    ephemera New Member

    thanks, Lynna, for your kind thoughts.

    bst wishes to you, too
  4. ETN

    ETN New Member

    It's not fun at all!!!

    I haven't worked for over 3 years and am awaiting to see the judge. I am praying everyday that I will be awarded my ssdi.

    I too feel somedays I don't contribute like I used to but I have been so sick that I really have been trying to focus on getting better.

    It's not fair that we work and work and work and when we need help we have to wait for years...but I do know that the system is really screwy and I am sure alot of it is those that abuse the system!!!

    Hang in there I will be thinking of you guys...

    keep your fingers crossed!!!
  5. ephemera

    ephemera New Member

    thanks desertsage & etn

    seems like no matter what the differences in our lives, who we are & where we live the details of our struggles are the same. we find such common ground on this board, reinforcing ourselves & each other

    best healing thoughts