Dear Hanginin,

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by windblade, May 8, 2006.

  1. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Just writing to say hi.

    I'm worried about my 'communicating'. That you might be feeling really hurt. I did the best that I could, but that doesn't mean it wasn't flawed.

    Just sending my love and prayers.

    I wish there was some better way of doing things than human fallacy!

    I don't like being "open and honest"! It's so risky. I wish I knew how you were feeling!

    I'm so sorry if I went about things the wrong way, but it was the only way I knew to try and clear things up.

    I hope you know how much you mean to me, how much richness you've brought into my life. How much laughter, and strength from your prayers.

    Finding a really good friend is so rare, and I hope that you will forgive any mistakes in judgement that I made.

    I have the 'brillo rat and scary stories' night printed out, it was one of the most fun times I've had in years.

    And a thread from around Christmas time under "Bah humbug", when I started out really depressed, and ended up laughing my head off with all the jokes and racing around we were doing.

    And, I have the responses to my poem 'In Desperation, that you and Georgia commented on. It encouraged me immensely how much you received from it.

    So, I see a mistake I made! I shouldn't have said "all", since I have some really valuable ones.

    And at home I have journals that I've filled for the past 20 years. And about 6 notebooks of pieces of poetry, that I need to finish if I ever get off my butt!

    Plus I have stuff under my own name to print out. I'm in an ocean of riches. I just need to listen to the Holy Spirit about what to do next. I just really lack confidence, and then there's the PTSD monster, which I picture as this creature from mythology called the Hydra, which had 9 heads, and when you cut one off, another grew back.

    TTYL, going to rest a bit.
  2. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Oh, I am SO RELIEVED to hear from you!!!!!!!!!

    Thank God, I've been praying, but worried about you. Thank God you wrote, and everything's alright!!!! Now we can move on.

    The good news in therapy is that I've been able to do some EMDR - one of the most studied forms of PTSD therapy. I tried about a year ago or more, and had bad reactions which can be pretty severe. So I had to stop.

    But if it works, if you can handle it; you can save years off of your therapy experience.

    It's a way of re-training the brain - replacing thoughts that won't budge - ingrained beliefs, etc. with more positive, new healthy thoughts.

    The first time I tried I had A LOT of fear that whole week - about a month ago. It took all I had to get through it, but I DID. So, I've been doing a little bit a week.

    I feel too fragile afterwards to shop for my non-gluten foods at the health store around the corner from my therapist. But that's a small price to pay for such an advancement!

    Back to the poetry thread
  3. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    I don't mind talking about the EMDR. I tried your "STOP" thoughts. But not sure if that is right for me. Since you don't have PTSD, are you hoping to replace old negative thoughts, with positive ones?

    The clue is to watch for any feelings it might bring up. Monitor yourself to see how it is affecting you, if you decide to do it. It is exciting, isn't it?

    Just back from therapy - exhausted, but a good kind - a feeling of accomplishment.

    Found some more poems - will share on the pengy thread when my energy comes back.

    Love you lots! Prayers to your household.
  4. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Sounds like you really got something good going on here.
    A good friend that we are able to trust, and safely share some of our inside workings with is hard to come by.

    I pray the Lord protects your friendship, and keeps it safe.

    Now, I'm curious, would really like to hear about that brillo rat!!
    I love a good laugh!

  5. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Speaking of Rats reminds me of a good story about my girlfriend!

    Have to tell it later, kids home!
  6. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Hi hon - your encouragement, and verses on strength in God came with me to therapy last night. That was so kind! I was half way there - (my husband drives) and feeling really exhausted, and then I remembered, and your Scriptures popped into my head.

    It was so comforting and reassuring!

    I'll tell you the story of 'The Brillo Rat & scary stories night' as soon as I get my next burst of energy!

    Today, just trying to get the energy to eat more than one meal. I usually crash when I push myself too hard.

    God Bless,
    Love, Judy
  7. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    How has Ursula's operation gone today? Left you a note on your Rx thread - thinking of her all day.

    Love, Judy
  8. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Judy, so glad tho's verses, blessed you.
    I feel honored when God can work thur me to help or bless someone else.

    How are you doing, are you still tired out, i hope you were able to eat. I know what it is like to be so tired you can't eat,
    But because you didn't eat your even more tired.

    I force myself to ear oatmeal when i feel like that.

    Lord, I ask that Judy's strengh would return and she would be able to eat and rest.
    Thank you for Judy Lord, she's yours and made in your image.
  9. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    I just remembered there was a good article I read quite a while ago in a health mag. about the actress who played Lois Lane in the Superman movies. Margot Kidder?

    Well, she had bi-polar for years and at one point totally crashed. She didn't respond well to any prescript. meds - like you don't.

    But she found a whole lifestyle that balanced out her extreme pi-polar with natural supplements. I gave the article to a friend whose husband was in bad shape from PB.

    But I think I must have saved a copy. I'll keep searching for it - maybe you could look her up online. She became a spokesperson for bi-polar.