death of a family member

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by poodlemommy, Aug 22, 2005.

  1. poodlemommy

    poodlemommy New Member

    Hi I need some feed back. My mother in law is 84. She has had arthritis all her life. In spring she came totally paralised and her hubby had to remove her from there beautiful condo onto a home which was poor.She went down hill quick. She requires whay too much care to be at home. Any how 2 weeks ago she got nomonea of the lungs and it si a coma. Next day came out of ti. she he had been dying the last 2 weeks, no food or water, Pain patch and morphone.she can eat becaue she has no swallowing reflex so she is going to starve to death. she wanted that so she didn need to live paralized. So she went down all for the 2 weeks. me ( her daughter in law from a far removed marriage but she my speacial mom in many ways. since over 30 years. I care for her and bathed her and cleaned her mouth and talked to erh. I dit this every monrninght WEll I got hews she is being moved Tuesday to hopsice home my ambulance. I will ride in the ambulance with her. So this is in a hice bungalow with only 3 patients. Right now no one is ther to share with her. So she will get have her husband waiting there for him while i will show up in the abulance with her. Any how what I really want to know is how someone can long like this.Let me fill you in a bit. 2 weeks aoo she was in a home paraized with arthritis and not happy. She is 84 and her hubby not far behind. She got chest cold and a coma. Sunday she was russed in then next day was out of the coma. She could talked very little. in a lot of pain, no food or water.and getting weaker each day. they said she was dying. He swalloing reflex was gone. So we make her as comfortable as possible. EAch day look closer to her daying. Then about 5 days ago they took off the Iv which was giving her fluids to it speeded things up. now almost 2 weeks late we figured she would last the weekned mybe. well today she is eating ice chips, talking up a storm and a new woman. I dont get it. she is being moved to a hospice house tomorow and Im going in the ambulance with her. she is like a new person these last 2 days. Its like she want so live now. She is just eating ice chips but if her swallo reflex works she can eat and get well maybe. It now then it could take a month to die. any of this stuff every hamppine to anyone. We are baffled. Has any one have a family member of the nature. Its so bizarre. any input would help. do you think she is not going to dye after all. Thanks gys dn
  2. backporchrags

    backporchrags New Member

    mini strokes she started developing symptoms that did not seem related to the strokes. When some of these symptoms would go, others would come. We were all very confused about her condition.
    You may be right that her will to live has been re-sparked.
    Having you there to care so well for her may have made the difference to her.
    I hope I will have such caring, loving people around when I need them. I am sure you are very special to her.
  3. pepper

    pepper New Member

    What a wonderful, caring daughter-in-law you are! Your mother-in-law is so lucky to have you care for her at this time.

    When my mom was dying (at age 72) she went through a similar experience. She could still eat a little if the nurses or my sisters or I fed her. And she drank a little water.

    She didn't talk much of the time and just stared a lot. A few days she did speak but most days she didn't. I think she was preparing to leave.

    To answer your question, she lived like this in the hospital for 3 weeks. The doctors and nurses were amazed that she hung on as long as she did. But she wasn't ready to go before that.

    If your mother-in-law continues to be chatty and has regained her will to live, I hope that she will also be able to eat. Otherwise they will have to put the IV back in.

    If she withdraws and does not talk much, she will probably be getting ready in her own mind to leave this life.

    Hugs and prayers for you and your mother-in-law.
    I know how hard this is for everyone.