I know its been a while since I posted. Actually, its been a while since I've been on line. I have been all over the place lately. I hard from my biological father. I haven't seen him in about 19 years. It was a blessing. And we've been working hard to establish a relationship again. His phone call and this site have been the only bright spots in my world. Until finding this site I have felt so very alone. Though I knew I wasn't alone in this illness, I have been isolated and floundering around on my own, with mainly books to guide me. Now that my daughter is really starting to feel the effects of fm, I find myself floundering around again, trying to provide her high school administrater with information, so that we can do all thats available to make school as bareable as possible for her. Once more, my husband has left things to me. And though I'm trying so hard not to feel overwhelmed and I'm trying really hard to get over this depression, but nothing is working. Around Jan of 2002, I finally hit that wall you hit when you start that grieving process. I'm stubborn so it took 5 yrs to get there. And I started to backslide. I couldn't cope. And then my daughter started showing me signs that I didn't want to see. Fm signs. And when she was dx My heart felt Like it shattered into a million pieces. Then my cousin and grandmother died within 3 wks of one another. And I have to say that with the losses of my family, my husband tried to be there. But the rest if it is always too much for him. And he hides from what hurts him. And, as lonely as it has made me feel, I understand why he turns away. When I as really bad, he told me the only time he could stand to look at me was when I was aleep, because I didn't have the look of agony on my face. And now, I feel like I just can't stop grieving. And my younger daughter got tested and they say no fm, but I still have to deal with her deep depression and her adhd. And I'm afraid that I won't be able to give my daughters what they need, and my husband won't help me. I feel like I am whining and I really hate that, but I am feeling so lost. You said I could email you privately, but I lost your email address. I don't actually have one. Something is going on with my computer. But I use my hubby's. It is email@example.com. If you still feel up to the challenge, I'd be eternally grateful for you friendship and advice.