Decisions A Story - Venting

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by PVLady, Jan 24, 2007.

  1. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I have come to the decision I must further reduce the stress in my life. I know exactly what the source of my stress is but it is a very hard decision.

    I have a very demanding, cruel, client in my small business. I have known this lady for over 20 years. She is hard on herself, therefore, hard on everyone else.

    Recently, I was forced to take a long business trip that not only worried me for months prior, it totally exhausted me to go.

    These trips are a total waste of time. For many, it is just a excuse to take a free company vacation. They meet for only two days for 3 hours each day. For that, they have to fly to Grand Cayman, or Calgary Canada, or Costa Rica....on and on.

    I cannot remember being so tired when I returned from the trip last week. I will not further compromise my health.

    My husband was so worried about me, he went with me, which was a huge mistake. He was also exhausted and now his back condition has worsened.

    Just to give an example, last year, she knew my husband was very sick and needed to have a MRI exam. He was so bad, he could not drive himself. She threatened me if I did not take the trip for the business meeting, she would get another company to handle their business.

    I went on the trip and husband had to take a taxi cab, by himself, over 1 1/2 hrs one way, to the doctor in very bad pain - and back.

    She is supposed to be our friend and knows my husband very well. She acts like she really is concerned about him, but forced me to make that terrible decision.

    I am so angry whenever I even think about it. Now my dear husband is possible facing another back surgery. I refuse to be bullied anymore by this person.

    I would never, ever do this to anyone. Talk about mean and no compassion. So, I will downsize my lifestyle.

    I've decided to sell our larger home and even possibly the business. For sure, her account can go bye bye.

    Its like I can never forgive her for what she has put me through. Who knows, alot of my digestive problems my go away when she is gone.

    Some people might think how great to be able to travel but when you are not well, it is no pleasure.

    Well, enough of my venting.......
    Thanks for listening

    [This Message was Edited on 01/25/2007]
  2. Slayadragon

    Slayadragon New Member

    I think reduction of stress with CFS/fibro is key and that you seem to have made a good decision for yourself.

  3. ChristineInPA

    ChristineInPA New Member


    What a monster! Before you sell your house, etc., would you consider sitting down with her and talking?

    You sound like a great business woman and I'm guessing you like your job, with the exception of this she-devil client?

    It's not easy to start your own business and it sounds like you've done it with success. One person should not be permitted to tear down what you built.

    I used to LOVE to travel until I developed panic attacks, and that put a screeching halt to flying. That was before the ME/F, and now I can't even imagine taking a trip like that.

    Personally, I would take her to lunch somewhere that she loves and talk to her about your physical condition. I would explain to her that your DOCTOR has forbidden these types of trips "for the time being", and want to assure her that while you wish you could go (LIE), you are not permitted to. You could add all the other BS about how important your personal and professional relationships are with her (ANOTHER LIE) and you hope that she can understand your limitations.

    If she doesn't respond in a positive manner, then to heck with her and move forward with your plans.

    I just really hate to see you have to go through selling your house and moving, since that's a whole other HUGE stressful situation.
  4. AquariusGirl

    AquariusGirl New Member

    I couldn't agree more--i had a family member taxing all my strength--let her go b/c not good for me--it felt like a weight had lifted off my chest! Wish my chronic fatigue went away once i took care of that--but it did help.
  5. buffyr

    buffyr New Member

    I can only work part time due to my fibro. I was working mon, wed, and fri. I found wed to be too stressful due to personality conflicts at work with someone who's schedule only overlapped that day. Now I only work mon & fri. With the fibro, my family has lost about 30 percent of our income, while our medical copays have gone way up. We've budgeted down to the bare minimum that we can. Very hard to do when you have little ones who are used to new toys and eating out all the time. But it can be done and you'll make it all right. Before moving I'd sit down and see if there is anyway around it. A new, smaller house does mean less to keep up with cleaning though. We have a very small house and it's hard enough to clean, I truly wouldn't want one of those mc mansions if I could afford one (unless they came with a free live in maid :). I'll be praying for you as you go through this hard time. Keep us posted on how it goes!!!

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