Decreasing Social Life

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MoreBoo, Apr 21, 2007.

  1. MoreBoo

    MoreBoo New Member

    I have always been a very social person. I love people and I love visiting with people. I retired 3 years ago (at 48) due to fibro and thought that would help. No, it hasn't helped with the disease - it does make my life more comfortable and easy. Anyway I have noticed that I have been much less social than ever before. Meaning I don't go out as often or visit with friends - other than the phone.

    This has been bothering me because I'm worried that maybe I'm depressed and I'm isolating myself. However I just realized that the reason I'm not going out is that when I do go I am in extreme pain and have to take my pain medication like crazy.

    When I do go out I have a lot of fun and try to act normal and ignore the fibro. This has dire consequences. Usually the next day I have a horrible migraine (3 days) and feel like I have the flu - along with the normal aches and pains of fibro. So it seems like my body is telling me something that I wasn't aware of in my head.

    So anyway...my question to all of you is How do you handle the social life? I don't want to give it up, I'm only 50 and friends are very important to me. Also, I think it would be unwise to give up a social life. But I pay for it dearly afterwards.

    Another thing...My two grown children live in other parts of the country and I will not stop traveling to visit them. But boy am I sick afterwards (and during), which they have a hard time understanding.

    Any suggestions are helpful...thanks so much for the support.

    Heather
  2. jole

    jole Member

    My life sounds so much like yours a few years ago. Since then, I go nowheere and see no one unless they come to my home. I hate it. But it's not worth the added pain to me. We do make choices and give up parts of our lives as needed.

    Just have your friends come to you if possible. There is lots you could do in your home.

    Also, don't give up the trips to your kids'. They are the best part of life. Sometimes suffering is the necessary of two evils.....and give them some info to read on your illness.

    Sorry you are also having to give up so much. Find the small things to smile about...they're still there.

    Friends - Jole
  3. knitsnfits

    knitsnfits New Member

    I am 46 and used to be on the go all the time. Now, I weigh my options and decide how much I can handle in a day. If I clean my house for a couple of hours that means I am not going to be able to make a social call later on. I find that I put all my family obligations first and that leaves no energy for fun. Not alot of people understand this beast that we live with! I am lucky to have one true friend who didn't leave me in the dust. Once a month I make sure my best friend and me go out to lunch. The only advice I can give is to make sure you treat yourself to some enjoyable time and leave the house messy for a little bit. We have to look forward to somethings even if we pay for it later because we will have good memories. I don't want to just look back and regret missing out on so much.
  4. mujuer

    mujuer New Member

    To think I was a pom-pom girl once! I feel for ya'. I am 49 and was a hairdresser for 30 years. Talk about social. Now I live out in the boons and don't socialize with anybody unless it is by e-mail or phone. I see people at church every week. All of my friends work so I don't get to see them hardly at all but talk many times via the internet.

    I wish I were down in San Diego. I do better in warm weather. I have two boys in college in the L.A. area and feel great when I am there and a daughter in Georgia and always feel better there. It is when I come back to the pac northwest that I feel bad again but only when it is the winter or if there is a storm which is pretty much most of the year.

    I have three grown children. They are three of the most amazing people I have ever know. They don't understand what I am going thru because they don't live here to see the day in and day out problems that I have. They remember the old me, the funnest mom in the world. I have only had this fibro, rls and myofacial pain for two and half years. I have sent them numerous articles as well as the "spoon theory" and the "letter to normals". I realized that they just can't understand it as nobody else can unless they have it. Sometimes they seem upset that I have this and question the things that I am taking, which is very little. I have found that what helps me the most with my children is by telling them that it is my job to worry about them and for my daughter to worry about her daughter and that I am taking as good of care of myself as I possibly know how. They have accepted this now and never question me. They still ask how I am and I tell them the truth but I don't lay it on them and whine and complain. That I save for my poor husband who understands it because he see it for himself. Not too much though as I know it's too much of a bummer and that's why I have you folks yea!!!!!
  5. Ginner

    Ginner New Member

    Moreboo..I understand you perfectly!
    I feel the same, EEExactly. I am 54 and have always had a PR type of job.....acct. rep.,etc... all of my life.

    And I feel the same about going places. I am soo DONE the next day or 2-3 days after I go anywhere. I have been that way for 3 yrs now. FMS for 12yrs.
    I am very concerned also.

    I have been home - in bed - most of the day and evening since this past Jan. Not good. I don't even care if I do anything at all.
    I know I need to talk to my dr. It has gotten worse this past 2 wks. I do notice when I take a muscle relaxer I am even more "down" so I try not to take them unless I get in trouble with pain, cramping in the evening.

    I know that I need to exercise ( I am talking even an arm lift here) but I just do not care. How does one get themselves up and out ?

    Can anyone explain serontonin and neruoephrerine (sp)?
    As in effexor.
    Thanks for reading anyone...
    Ginner