I fight every day to get out of my bed to the door to face the outside, or do the things I know I should do, I hate my self for feeling this way. I am very forgetful !! I am not able to think straight. I feel short with most people. I am swelling in my joints if I do not take my water pills.I have had this FM since 1986. The older I get the worse it gets. I think it has aged me more than life, I am 57 but I feel 75. I wonder if my depression will ever lift? I have been through most of the pills. I want to do only natural foods. any suggestions? I do pray.