Denied by my family

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kat211, Jan 21, 2010.

  1. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I know I am not the only one on this board who does not have contact with their family. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

    I have not had a conversation with them in a year. They have called and threatened and harrassed me. My father left a voicemail a week after thanksgiving telling me to eff off and he hated me and would hate me forever. I have never felt loved by either of my parents or my sister. Never. I have tried. I was the only child who was ever hit, punched, kicked, etc. I wasn't officially diagnosed until this summer, but have been 'sick' for years and was going to dr after dr when I was talking to them. My grandmother and aunt both know I am sick. The people who call themselves my parents also know the other things that are going on with me. So I received a voicemail 10 minutes ago. It was my father, obviously drunk, saying my aunt's best-friend died this morning and he thought she would appreciate a call from me.


    I have been a probation officer and a child welfare worker. I have seen the lowest of the low-lifes. But this is one of the lowest things I have ever experienced. They are toxic. I don't want them in my life. I don't need them. I have overcome so much already. I will overcome this. I have no choice but to overcome it.

    I have threatened to file for a restraining order, yes I have a basis for it. I have threatened to change my name, my phone number, and my zip code. My question is, how have you effectively gotten the message across to those you do not want contact with? I do not want them in my life or to have any type of contact with my family what-so-ever.
  2. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    Yeah, I've been there. It's horrible. What I did was to stop answering the phone and not return their calls. And when they emailed me, I made very short replies, like as short as possible. They have now not contacted me since June.

    It does hurt and it's horrible that they don't understand. But toxic people don't belong in our lives. There is no way to change them and they only make us worse.

    Don't take their calls, don't return their calls. Don't answer email or snail mail letters.
  3. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    Fortunately, they don't really know how to email and I have their phone # set to a certain ring so I know to avoid it.

    I am going to change my phone number tomorrow. I am more angry that I am going to lose my great # and have to go through the hassle of notifying people than anything.
  4. AuntTammie

    AuntTammie New Member

    {{{{{hugs}}}} so sorry that you are having to deal with this on top of everything else they have put you thru and on top of being sick

    as to changing the phone number, I can sympathize bc I had to do that about 9 months ago (due to a neighbor, not family, but still I know it's a hassle)....fortunately I was able to email most people I wanted to have the new number, and then I only had a few people (Drs, etc) to actually call and tell.....and in a way it has been somewhat of a relief having a new number, bc I get far fewer unwanted calls
  5. hensue

    hensue New Member

    Then I turn off my cell phone and do not answer their emails.
    There are people in our life that are totally toxic and I finally realized I am not dealing with them.
    My health is my concern and any emotional upset and there I go sick again.

    Pick your battles carefully, I have a sister who I love very much I just cannot help her.
    I pray for her.

    When she calls I do not answer she needs treatment for a problem she says she doesnt have.
    She is an alcoholic and I am not going to get myself upset over her anymore.

    It is what you have to do to save yourself and your sanity.

    If my daughter in law or sons get on my nerves. They know I will turn off the phones.

    It is up to you to keep these toxic people out of your life.
  6. AuntTammie

    AuntTammie New Member

    I asked the phone company about that, and they said that they can only do that if there is a police report on record and you give them the report number. I had actually reported what was happening (neighbor watching me while I was inside my apt and leaving threatening phone messages) to the police, but they did not feel that it warranted an official report at that time, so the phone company would not block the number and I had to change it.