Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by scrappnmom, Jul 20, 2006.

  1. scrappnmom

    scrappnmom Member

    I don't post on here very often. But, suddenly I feel a need to talk to someone. I feel so depressed! It's like an emptiness, an isolation from everyone, no motivation to do anything! I originally was dxd with anxiety along with Fibro, and started taking Effexor XR about 4 1/2 years ago. I was doing well and I really wanted to get off of the Effexor, last spring (a year ago) but my Neurologist said I'd need to go see a psychiatrist for help getting off of it. So, I went to see a new psychiatrist since my old one had moved away. After seeing her a couple or 3 times she did wean me off of Buspirone, but told me that she didn't think it was a good idea to take me off of Effexor. She felt like I was just barely in control, and any kind of change in my life seemed to really be hard on me and caused me to be anxious! And she also felt like I would be in more pain! So, she ended up increasing my dosage instead over the past 9 months! But, after feeling like I was doing so well, all of a sudden I feel so depressed! Could increasing my Effexor make me feel MORE Depressed instead of better? I don't understand it? My Rheumatologist has told me before that he also felt like I was just barely hanging on to any kind of control of my Fibro too! So, he hasn't wanted to take me off of anything or change any of my meds. Any little thing, overdoing it, or getting really tired and exhausted and I go into a flare that can last weeks!

    Just one more detail you should know. I have had a hard time turning loose of my youngest daughter. She graduated from college April of 2004 and 2 months later she moved to Germany to work in the mission field there in East Germany. Her fiance went with her. Then they came home last July, for a month to get ready for their wedding, and got married last August. Then returned to Germany. When they first went to Germany they had committed to stay there working with the church there for 2 years, but this past January they decided to commit another 2 years! So, they won't be coming home until the summer of 2008! We have always been very close and I was so involved in her life, turning her loose has been painful! We do have one son and his wife and baby that live here close, and I enjoy being able to see them often! We also have our oldest daughter and husband and baby that live about 8 hours away, so I don't get to see them really often. But having the youngest on the other side of the world is tough! They were here in April for 3 weeks and our oldest daughter and her baby came and stayed for 2 weeks so they could see them too, and we had such a good visit and so much fun! Then when they left it hurt again!

    Is it just the situation or is it the Effexor?

  2. onlythestrong

    onlythestrong New Member

    But I do understand where your at with the child leaving,that has been the hardest thing and my daughter left 2 years ago and it's so hard.
    You can only tackle one day at a time and this board fills alot of my void.
    Good luck to you and hugs,
  3. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Thank goodness for your neurologist! He was very wise directing you to help in order to quit Buspirone. I'd follow the same advice with Effexor if you think it's not helping you.

    You have a lot of doctors telling you what they think. Find the one you trust the most and go with that opinion on this. Confusion about medications may be adding to your stress.

    Depression is an awful thing to live with; I know. I suspect from what you tell us you're reacting very strongly to the situation with your daughter. Once that has a chance to settle in with you a bit, you might be OK with the Effexor. If I were you I'd talk to my psychiatrist about this soon. Psychiatrists are usually excellent psychopharmacologists.

    It's so hard to have our kids leave home but we know we've done our job if they do. Pat yourself on the back, then try to look around for other interests to take up some of the space she's left behind. It's a hard time but a healthy step forward.

    Good luck.

  4. scrappnmom

    scrappnmom Member

    Thanks for your replies. I have never been able to understand when lots of my friends have said how wonderful it was to have the kids leave home! To me it was incomprehensible! I always enjoyed having them home and having them run in and out with their friends! This lasted all the way through college since they all went to college 30 minutes away from home! I enjoyed doing stuff with all 3 of them. We have a really close family and I was their Biggest Fan! Especially my youngest daughter's! She got to live my Dream! She was a music major! Now I feel lost not having any recitals, or musicals or operas to go to. But, it was hard for me to see all of my kids leave! But, I do feel very good and very blessed that all 3 of them turned out to be such great young adults. And all 3 of them married wonderful people. And I guess the greatest blessing of all, is that all of them and their spouses are faithful Christians! That's what we prayed for! That each of them would be happy and succesful and find wonderful mates! What more could you want? But with them all gone, I feel like they took half of my heart with them!

    But, the depression is not fun! I don't think I even realized I was depressed until just lately. Before I felt the problem was just anxiety! Desertsage, I don't think she could put me on Wellbutrin, because I also have Epilepsy! And people that have seizures can't take that! I've wondered about that one too because it sounded like a good one for me! When the 1st psychiatrist was getting me started taking an anti-depressant, we had to try several before we could find one that I could even tolerate! The first ones I tried made me feel even more anxious! So, I don't know what I could change to. I won't see my psychiatrist till the first of August, but I'll talk to her about it!

    Hugs to you all too!
  5. fabricaholic

    fabricaholic New Member

    Yes the increased dosage of effexor can make you feel worse than better. The Dr I work for sometimes has reactions from patients she ups the dosage on and what she does is has them go back to the lower dose and stay there for a while. but you may also be at a point where it just doesnt work for you anymore.

    I know just how you feel with your daughter. I love having my kids run in and out of the house. ( at the moment I have my son and wife and child living with me) My youngest (daughter) and her husbond are in the airforce stationed in alabama her hubby is in saudi arabia at the moment and she happens to be here with the kids (2 kids and 1 on the way) I miss them so much when there not here it almost make me sick to my stomach. It's so hard turning them loose even when you know they are doing Gods work . My son in law happens to work with the chaplins and even though he is in the airforce he has been called to the mission field several times and my daughter has gone with him.
    I charish and relish in every moment we do get to talk and be together. my daughter is one of my best it sounds like yours is to you to.


  6. scrappnmom

    scrappnmom Member

    Cindy, do you think it would be a case where I might have to change my medicine? One thing I would hate is the ordeal of having to get off of Effexor. I wish I had known that it was a med that was really hard to get off of, before I started taking it. The other thing is that I do feel like it has helped with the pain. I remember after she increased the dosage I realized that I was feeling better. But, now I'm not! What other anti-depressant really helps with the pain too? Another thing that worries me is changing to something that might make me gain weight worse than the effexor did! I've gained 20 pounds in the past 4 years! That's more than enough!!!!

    Thanks for the help.


    PS Yeah those kids are just hard to be without! I know just to get a call from my daughter is such a treat! And so is getting to chat online with her! It doesn't take much to give me a boost! I'm easy to please!!!
  7. scrappnmom

    scrappnmom Member

    Georgia, you really hit the nail on the head about me! I am really a "Care Taker" type person! And now, it's almost like I feel useless! Like noone needs me anymore! Of course, I say that to my husband and he tells me that He Still Needs me! And even though I know he does, it's still different.

    I do have some things that I enjoy. I love to scrapbook, read, work in my flower garden (when I feel up to it!) and singing. But, sometimes I don't even want to do that! And I Thank Heavens that I have my precious son and daughter in law and their precious little 9 month old baby girl right here in town! And then my other daughter, son in law, and 16 month old Granddaughter are in Houston. Without them I'd go nuts! Sometimes I can be such a Baby! Ha!

    Thanks for the understanding!
  8. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    I'm on Effexor, have been for about 7-8 years.

    All I know is that I am going through something right now too. I feel horrible, But I am bi-polar also, so I take a mood stabalizer with the effexor.

    IF you decide to go off Effexor, MAKE SURE you do it slowly and with the supervision on a doctor. I have heard withdrawl can be horrible.

    I am having situational problems along with medicine related issues.

    I am feeling the same way you are. I keep crying out LOUD in prayer for God to help me get throught this.

    I pray he helps you too.
    Best wishes

  9. scrappnmom

    scrappnmom Member

    Cockatoomom, I hope you get to feeling better too. It sounds like you do know the feelings I'm having.

    Good Luck,
  10. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    I am sorry so that you are depressed. I do know how that feels and I also know how we love our kids...which always can bring us down when we are concerned about them. I imagine it is a combination of things.
    But, I can't tolerate antidepressants... so I can't give any advice on them.

    I will keep you in my prayers.


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