Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by teller7, Dec 6, 2005.

  1. teller7

    teller7 New Member

    After over three years of battling this DD I can feel myself starting to get depressed again and I don't like it. For everyone's sake in my family I've tried to stay positive. If I'm not positive all the time they all get very upset with me. They all know I'm not well, but I think in a way they have the attitude that most of this is just in my head, and if they ignore it, it will go away. This infuriates me. My sister told me that she truly believes that the mind can heal this. If that were true, we wouldn't even need this message board now would we. We'd all be too busy living our lives. And we all know how our sleeping habits are screwed up. Well, my hubby is getting pretty sick of that. Sometimes I can't get to sleep till the middle of the night. Then I sleep in till 9 or 10. I can tell he is not happy about my routine, but he doesn't realize the fact that in actuality I've only slept 5 or 6 hours. He keeps saying, if you would go to bed at a decent time like a normal person you might feel better. I'm getting pretty sick of feeling guilty about being sick or not normal as they think. And it's a lonely feeling as I'm sure you all know.They've all read alot about CFS so deep down hopefully they know, but I think they're trying to use phychology on me and snap me out of it so to speak. I just don't know anymore. Thank God I have very good friends on here to vent to or I think I'd just dig a hole and stick my head in it. So any suggestions on how I can cope with this?
  2. techno

    techno New Member

    Hi Carol....
    I've been there too.

    Our family and friends just don't get it!

    We have to be extremely articulate in explaining this
    illness to them. It's a lack of clear communication!
    We have to constantly repeat our symptoms etc.

    Also, it took me quite a while to realise that our friends
    and family feign concern when in fact their number one concern is THEMSELVES and how your illness is affecting them.
    The truth is most people are extremely self-centered and
    selfish... thats just the way it is.

  3. teller7

    teller7 New Member

    Great advice. I think you hit the nail on the head about family just thinking of themselves and how this affects them. It's like they want to put you in a corner and forget that you're there. And it infuriates the heck out of me. I want to scream hey I'm a person and I'm ill and I don't know when I'll be better so please acknowledge me for who I am now. Thanks for your post.
  4. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    Most people only care about how our illness impacts them! You have to stand up for yourself and try not to let it get to you. Scream if you have to!! LOL I do it when I am hurting and everyone backs off! Then when I am not hurting so bad, I am nice. Keeps everyone tip-toeing around me and that is how I like it! They never know when I am going to blow up!

    Seriously, you have to let them know that you will not tolerate any talk from your relatives about what you should and shouldn't be doing! Just cut them off when they pull this and let them know that they are out of line.

    Would you talk that way to a friend or relative who is hurting? So don't let them get away with it either! You have to get tough with this disease. I have a philosophy that you can either take me or leave me the way I am and if you don't like me than leave me alone! I am a tough old bird, but then I always was!

    Don't feel bad about being sick, you didn't ask for this! I hope you can come to some kind of resolution that will help you to keep your stress level down about this, as stress is bad for us.

    Take care, Sally

  5. anakinkaid

    anakinkaid New Member

    Dear Teller 7,

    I went to a sleep clinic and it really helped: both with my sleep and for my family to start to see things from a medical point of view.

    Sometimes people are afraid of what they don't understand, so they dismiss it because they are unable to do anything to help. The dissmissal often reduces their stress, but NOT ours.

    Also try the pubblic library-there are some great books out on sleep, etc. The more everybody knows, the more effectively your concerns can be approached - and stressed reduced for everyone.

    Best Wishes,
  6. millennia

    millennia New Member

    I know how frustrating it can be when your family doesn't understand your illness.

    I thought I'd give you some suggestions on what has helped me. Because no matter how your family feels about your illness, you need to take care of yourself and try and feel better for yourself. After that you can worry about them.

    First the depression. I know that ugly demon all too well. Have you tried Omega 3 oils? I tried every antidepressant under the sun, they either made me sick or they just didn't work. Then I read about how Omega 3 works in the brain and how our bodies are meant to consume much more of it than we do. Think about it, before fast food and sewer systems, people lived near the water and ate mostly fish. I can honestly say Omega 3 oils have changed my life, the depression lifted, the brain fog went away. If I don't take it for a while, I start to feel it all returning. Your body is made to run on this stuff, no harm in trying it. If you're worried about the fishy taste (or aftertaste, repeat, fishy burp, etc.) Coromega is like orange pudding packets that don't cause that and Fisol has specially coated capsules that also have no aftertaste.

    I hope this info helps you.
  7. sdown

    sdown New Member

    My doctor prescribed SAMe. It is a supplement available on this site. I normally take 400 mg but when Im having a bad episode I take 800 mg a day. What I mean by bad episode is if I have the flu or an infection and its getting my down. One 400 mg SAMe tablet in the morning and one 400 mg SAMe in the evening. Its used for mood, liver and joint pain. It really calms the nerves and makes you happier. Its been amazing for me. I have Addison's disease which causes chronic fatigue and Im anemic. Ive been sick for 5 years and have never been on sleep medication or anti-depressants. I do get depressed but its seems to stay in check. The doctor says its because of the SAMe and the neurontin. I started off with 300 mg a day of neurontin. After 4 years the doctor said I can diminish the amount. So I gradually went down to one pill every other day of neurontin. Neurontin helps with negative thinking, concentration and focusing. If you are already on anti-depressants check with your doctor first if you can take SAMe. Since SAMe is an natural anti-depressant I dont know if it would conflict with an anti-depressant medication. Hopefully you wont have to take anti-depressants and SAMe will work for you. It did for me. Good luck!

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