Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by alm10, Jun 28, 2010.

  1. alm10

    alm10 New Member

    Im only 19 years old, and I know I have so much life ahead of me. Yet, I feel like nothing will ever matter. I can't find happiness in this cold world, and everytime I actually do it seems as its ripped right from under me. Every change that I've done to make everything better, something always goes wrong. Everytime I try to change, try to do something different it never works. I don't know how to feel anymore, I dont know what to do. I have no one to turn to, every friend that I've had walked away from me. Mostly because they are still in thier high school mentallity and all they want to do is drink and party. When, I think there is so much more to do in the world, sober, that would be much better. So since I don't party, then I don't matter. My dad is a single parent and we've never really talked much. Being the youngest and only girl in the house, I've always been alone. I don't think I can take it anymore.

    For relationships, I'm never good enough. I give my all. In my personal opinion Im a great girlfriend and others have said the same thing. Yet, no one ever wants me. And to be honest, I havn't slept with a lot of guys, but the ones that I truly think I want to be with them, i get this crazy idea in my mind where if i give them what I want then I'll get what I want. I don't know how to not think this.

    Last, I need advice for one guy. I met this guy and we hit it off right away. We had the most amazing time I've ever had. Finally, happiness entered my life, and I thought nothing could go wrong. The twist is he is my old best friend's brother. I was best friends with him for 4 years, and all of a sudden he decided that he didn't want me and his brother not to see each other. I was crushed. At first his brother wouldnt see me, but then we started to hang out again. Sadly I fell for him right away, I really feel like hes the one. Now he barely talks to me, and he always says he wants to hang out, then ditch me. I finally deleted his number and havn't talked to him, but I really wasn't ready to walk away. It only caused my depression to be worse. Its only proves t o me that I will always be alone.

    I just don't know what to do anymore

    [This Message was Edited on 06/28/2010]
  2. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Self image and self respect can greatly impact depression and it may play part of a role in your depression now. You said you give your all in relationships--you don't have to give your all and that's not what relationships are about. If you have to give your all in a relationship, then get out of it because the other person isn't giving anything. So that's a good clue to remember--a good relationship doesn't suck the life out of it and take all you have. And people that ditch you were never worth your time to start with. You're picking the rotten fruit if that is what you are picking and you deserve so much better. You're 19 and look up because that's where you are headed--up in this world.

    Also having sex with people with the idea of "I give you what you want, so MAYBE I'll get what I want"--that hasn't worked and doesn't create a long lasting loving relationship. You can get HIV instead, like a good parent on the Depression Board found happened to her daughter and it's heartbreaking. Condoms break, condoms leak and some guys fake putting on condoms (found that out I think it was on The Tyra Show). Reserve the loving sex (never have sex just as a hook up) for someone that you have dated for a long while and you and he have gotten to know about each other mentally, emotionally, through ups and downs, but not sexually--wait until you are to the point of moving into a more steady, committed and serious relationship. If you can find out everything about the guy before having sex, then you have a base to start a more serious relationship and one that includes loving sex. Sex isn't something you give out just to satisfy someone else because they want it--you say no until your relationship is much further along. That way if you break up, you haven't gotten sexually involved.

    You always get more chances in life to change and start over. That's the great part of life. STOP having sex and instead wait until you have found that real true love. Start giving a hard look at men you have dated and consider setting your bar higher. Walk away from relationships before it reaches the point where they ditch you--think back and you'll probably remember some warning signs and they were your clues to get out of the relationship long before, instead of holding onto a bad thing.

    If you don't want to drink with the rest of the people, that's okay too and you're allowed to say no--and a drunken party where the guys are all drunk and puking is not the place for you to look for men that appeal to you. You wouldn't want a guy that is out every weekend getting sloppy drunk anyway. Maybe check out some hiking groups,

    But give yourself a lot of credit for recognizing that things aren't right, you don't know what to do and reaching out to others. That's a great start and remember that the glass can be half empty or half full. Start making yourself look at the glass as half full. Good luck, take care and hugs. YOU GO GIRL!!!