Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lou2, Apr 5, 2003.

  1. lou2

    lou2 New Member

    hey everyone...
    I am wondering whether anyone has experienced this?
    have been feeling 'odd' for the past week and couldnt put my finger on it. I feel spacey, but dreamlike as opposed to fibrofog like . A feeling of numbness and a feeling of not being real. It is really strange and also makes me feel really emotionless. I used to cry all the time but this last week i seem unable to get any emotion out, like ive been desensetised?
    Anyway i found a post on here from a while back and someone said they suffered from these:- derealisation and depersonalisation, so i did a web search and it hit the nail on the head. I feel relieved that i am not going crazy. I used to suffer bad anxiety but now i even have lost the fear, which is guess is good in a way. But i just almost cried with seeing this description as it was perfectly describing what i feel.
    So does anyone else have this, my only explanation is that it might be a result of the trauma of bing ill. I have been ill for a year and now i think i am almost better but maybe am having difficulties accepting how life has changed for me. So maybe others of you feel like this and didn't understand either.
    Any feedback or understanding would be great, especially if anyone knows anyway to bring me back to earth!!!
    love love love
  2. 1maqt

    1maqt New Member

    We go through so many stages of dealing with pain and the changes this DD has made in our lives. I have felt detached from my own family and these feelings are so foreign to me!
    I had never gone through a time when I felt nothing untill I became ill.

    Just recently I was diagnosed with Lupus also, and really had some wild trips emotionally. Adjustments to new meds, greiving the loss of me, as I formally been. I thought I was the only one too who had these fellings but to know we are not alone is so important in dealing with any illness.

    Limitations are hard to accept, and the loss of ones control of being aable to make plans and keep them , the isolation of being ill, it all automatically changes every aspect of our lives. It is so gradual that wwe wake up one day and wonder,"Where did my life amd myself go"?

    Talking it out and seeking support is the key to feeling better emotionally. We are all here to lend a caring shoulder , or ear. We all need each other to survive. We weren't meant to be alone in anything, except maybe our thoughts. I have been dealing with this for a very long time and I still feel like a newbie sometimes>

    I care ~1maqt~
  3. klh4

    klh4 New Member

    Hi Lou:

    I am new to this forum. I have had CFS/FS for more than 5 years, diagnosed in 98.

    The first year I had DD I was teaching at a high school. As I would walk down the halls between classes - through a maze of kids - I felt like Alice in Wonderland. The hall was a long one and at the end was a door into the math workroom. The door looked like one Alice would go through. And when I walked I knew that I was weaving between kids but I felt like they were bouncing off me. Very strange.

    Also things that used to bother me no longer did. This was a blessing as teaching these days in public schools is very stressful - no one follows the rules anymore and admin lets the kids run the school. I would just go into my classroom and let the outside world do it's own thing.

    I still get that feeling of detachment when I speak to people. It seems I slowly retreat into this otherworld. I have to really concentrate and move so that I stay focused to I can understand what they say. Things still don't bother me much. I just bounce along. I do not cry much either, partly due to dry eyes and the enery taken.

    Try to get rest (ha ha - when I feel good I do too much and then crash), eat well and take care of yourself. A counselor that specialized in medical problems is best. I had one but she moved.

    Love Health and Peace

  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Of some drugs. Sometimes it takes a while on drugs for this to happen.

    Love, Mikie
  5. lou2

    lou2 New Member

    some of you understand what i mean, I read that it can come as a symtom of pyhsical illness, or as part of anxiety/panic or pts disorders. though it can come in its own right i think and hope it is connected to the illness. I actually feel physically nearing 'normal' though i am not sure of what that is anymore. I think i just have forgotten 2 yrs back when i was fine and so its hard to relate to normal again!
    I am taking no medication so it cant be that, but i did take a new homeopathic remedy just before this feeling started so i think it could be that, i told her 'reverse it please'
    Anyway i have my first appointment with a psychiatrist this week so i hope he cn help me come to understand the change that is occuring in my life. I plan to go back to college soon and i think integrating into the 'real world' again may be strange so its important to grieve a bit for the losses ive felt during this time, and hopefully accept that life will be different but doesn't necessarily have to be so bad.
    thank you for your thoughts,
    lou x
  6. klutzo

    klutzo New Member

    In your last post you mentioned the usual cause of these feelings. They may be part of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but they are more often a part of Panic Anxiety Disorder, which is very common in people with Fibro who also have an MVP (Mitral Valve Prolapse). 75% of Fibro patients have one, and if you really want to see some eye-opening info, do a websearch for "Mitral Valve Prolapse Syndrome", and be sure to put that last word on the end. The syndrome is a whole other deal from a plain MVP, and includes Fibro and strange neurological symptoms as a part of it!
    I have found that drugs help me with this, rather than hindering me, but everyone is different. I am most likely to feel this way when driving, so I take 1/2 of a .25 xanax tablet 1/2 hr. before driving, and it helps a lot.
    This is a very unsettling feeling, and I pray you will find relief.
  7. Achy-shaky

    Achy-shaky New Member

    I've had FM/CFS for 4 yrs and did not know there was a name for this feeling! I've gone through this off/on in past but seems to be getting worse and I thought maybe it was from new meds I'm on. Some do have side effects that can cause this but can't remember which ones, maybe the antidepressants or anti-anxiety ones. If you are on these you may want to experiment cutting back on them but I'm not sure which is worse, crying and panic attacks all the time or having no emotion. I guess being a zombie is easier on the body.

    If you don't take these meds then I would think it's a part of the grief, trauma or just part of the DD. Sometimes it helps me to focus completely on me - ignore everyone else for a while and just pamper myself. I think sometimes we put ourself in that mode just to survive the stresses around us. If you have children or other constant responsibilities, it helps to have a vacation somewhere you can be pampered. I have family who love to baby me but they are 2500 miles away but I go there at least once a year and it's amazing how good I feel mentally after. I'm planning now to get there this summer...even though I really can't afford it and the travelling is very exhausting, it's still worth it.

    Hope that helps.
    Hugs & Blessings
  8. AJME

    AJME New Member

    I was diagnosed with Depersonalisation about 8 years ago. Also have Chronic depression.

    The feeling of depersonalisation is definitely some type of detachment from reality or an inability to fully appreciate emotionally the reality that is around us.

    It could be that we are sensitive people and over the years our bodies have turned down the volume on the Outside stimuli that constantly bombard us everyday eventually causing Brain Fog and Emotional Detachment as seen in Depersonalisation. This is probably some type of primitive brain response for chronically overly sensitive people. IMO A survival response that actually makes survival more difficult.
  9. lou2

    lou2 New Member

    i relate and thank you all for your thoughts.
    I am on no medication and have no other past trauma pre this fms to make me feel this way. I think what happened is that the whole time i was very very ill, all i thought about was being ill and the physical aspects and although i cried alot it was more to do with being in pain.,
    I think that maybe i didn't address the emotional side which is why i am having symtoms now of post traumatic stress, as although there was no accident i do believe that the shock these illnesses put on your body is enough to make this response. I was suffering from bad anxiety but now i even have no fear, i must have subconsciousely blocked myself off. (don't miss panic attacks though)
    So i decided today to try and address some of the feelings that i felt last summer and up till now and write them down in my diary as i realised i hadn't written once in the 18 months since i became ill!. Like the fear and the sadness of my life changing so much. Also how i feel sad now that things have to be different. I am only 22 so changing from parting, college life and the usual lifestyle to having had to stop all that ....i guess was more difficult than i had realised. i hope this is just passing, i miss the old me!.
    For those of you who have this feeling, do you know of anyway to click yourself out of it!?
    thankyou for your kind thoughts, love lou x
  10. mrs1349

    mrs1349 New Member

    Hi Lou,
    I experience this detachment feeling you speak of for 2 weeks straight (24/7). I was very unsettling to say the least. WHen I went to see a neurologist regarding all the syptoms I was having he asked me if I felt any detachment I was quite shocked at his question as I did not say anything about it. But, what he said to me was he thought I was having multiple seizures and it was my brains way of coping. It's not dangerous and believe it or not it does go away. (thank the Lord) He thought I was having simple partial sensory seizures and apparently this is something that can happen with them. Still unsure if I am having these or atypical migraines. None the less, they do still happen to me when my brain gets ahead of itself. It's a sign to me that I need to take better care of myself.
    I also read somewhere it can be from severe anxiety, and this usually won't last longer than 2 weeks. But everyone is different.
    Hope this helps, and hope things are better for you.
    Be good to yourself......