desperate.........

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by 2manytears, Nov 4, 2002.

  1. 2manytears

    2manytears New Member

    I just needed to talk to someone, anyone, so I came back to the boards. I feel worse and worse everyday. I tried to talk to my doctor , but she was saying that it is just stress causing my depression, and it is not. Just two days ago I was walking around a store with my husband and my kids and I was physically ill from being around so many people, we had to leave the store. I avoid going anywhere where there is alot of people. I can't grocery shop, or anything. I am constantly sick. I just don't feel the need to get up in the morning even though I know I have too. I just feel like I am in the bottom of a hole, and can't pull mysrlf out. The one person I should be able to talk to I can't, my husband, he just will not listen to me, and like everyone else he justs makes excuses. Snap out of it, that is all he says. I have no one to talk to, and I am so lonely in my own house. I do not know what to do anymore. I am just lost. Things I used to care about I don't anymore, If I fell off the face of the earth I doubt my family would notice. It is a sad thing when your lonely and you have family. I'm sorry to unloaad like this, I just have nowhere to turn anymore. Sorry! I have to go. Bye.
  2. 2manytears

    2manytears New Member

    I just needed to talk to someone, anyone, so I came back to the boards. I feel worse and worse everyday. I tried to talk to my doctor , but she was saying that it is just stress causing my depression, and it is not. Just two days ago I was walking around a store with my husband and my kids and I was physically ill from being around so many people, we had to leave the store. I avoid going anywhere where there is alot of people. I can't grocery shop, or anything. I am constantly sick. I just don't feel the need to get up in the morning even though I know I have too. I just feel like I am in the bottom of a hole, and can't pull mysrlf out. The one person I should be able to talk to I can't, my husband, he just will not listen to me, and like everyone else he justs makes excuses. Snap out of it, that is all he says. I have no one to talk to, and I am so lonely in my own house. I do not know what to do anymore. I am just lost. Things I used to care about I don't anymore, If I fell off the face of the earth I doubt my family would notice. It is a sad thing when your lonely and you have family. I'm sorry to unloaad like this, I just have nowhere to turn anymore. Sorry! I have to go. Bye.
  3. Pat UK

    Pat UK New Member

    I am sorry you are sounding so desperate, we have all been where you are and know the frustration of not being listened to and the feeling of utter hoplessness at times. Things will get better you just need a few kind words from your friends on this board. It made a difference to me to know people were thinking of me. I hope things will get better for you soon.
    best wishes
    Pat
  4. joyof3

    joyof3 New Member

    I hear you my boyfriend tells me the same stuff. we don't all have a very good support team, and that can make things harder. we under stand your depression. I feel depressed everyday, but I tell myself my family needs me, and i do the best i can. I am so sorry that feel lonly we are here for you. I beleive we need support from others that have this DD. hang in there super big huges stephanie.
  5. karen2002

    karen2002 New Member

    I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. You mentioned talking with your doctor, is she treating you for depression? What is her area of Specialty? Many causes of depression are due to chemical imbalances, or chronic illness. These should and can be treated with medication. Just as one should not expect to go through life in pain, one should not have to tolerate endless depression. I would suggest, insisting that your doctor treat your depression, or change doctors, finding one who specializes in mental health.
    Karen
  6. GoDaleJr

    GoDaleJr New Member

    I am in sort of the same boat. I have my parents and sisters and brothers, but they all live far away and rarely call. I feel so alone out here cuz I live alone. I have sabotaged all my friendships because I did not want to face anymore rejection from them. A few of my friends and I had a falling out because I do not know how to cope with Fibro - I've only had it for 8 months - and they felt I was being selfish, so I ended our friendships. I cannot please anyone anymore. I cannot even bee good to myself sometimes.
    I can't understand why my family doesn't call me or come by to see how I'm doing when they know I have been in pain for two months straight now. If things were reversed, I would take the time to see how they were doing! I'm a very giving person and would go out of my way to help others, but I can't find anyone in my "Support" (that's a laugh) circle to do the same for me. I get very depressed. And that is probably partly why I never get better.
    Well, at least you reached out to us here on the board. I was gone for awhile when I was feeling better, but now I am back Full time because I am feeling worse. It helps to know there are people out here who understand and can lend a caring ear, or eye.
    I hope you find some kind of peace within yourself and soon.
    GOod luck,
    ~Gina


  7. tedebear

    tedebear New Member

    It has gotten to the point where the hubby doesn't even bother anymore. If I had a bad day when he comes home all he says is "didn't have a good day, eh?" He has gotten to understand that some days are good and a lot are bad. He doesn't even mind how many warm bubble baths I take a day anymore. I myself, if I had a bad day, kick back and smell the roses. If I had a good day and actually accomplished something, I reward myself with a piece of pie, or something I like. It seems to lift the spirits. I look at it this way, you may not be around 5 minutes from now, so relish every second of your day. I lost many friends my age instantly (heart attacks, advanced stages of cancer, etc...), they didn't have a chance to enjoy life nor say goodbye. So treat every minute as your last, and enjoy!!!!!!! Take care....very soft hugs.
  8. dd

    dd New Member

    I feel for you. I was going thru those feelings a couple of years ago, while I was searching for my diagnosis. I felt so desperate because I didn't know what was happening to me. All I knew was that I was tired and in pain all the time and all the doctors kept telling me that there was nothing wrong with me. I stayed in bed for months and got out of bed only when I had to. A lot of it was CFS and FM but I was depressed too. I felt that my family didn't really need me anymore because I was so useless around the house. Those feelings were the depression. Please find a doctor that will listen to you because it sounds like you are going thru depression. An antidepressant will help you get to a place emotionally where you can enjoy life again.

    I hope that you are feeling better soon.

    Debbie
  9. tandy

    tandy New Member

    What a great name!! Would'nt it be nice if we could just "snap out of it?"Having these DD Is'nt the way I planned on feeling at this age!!Alot of people just simply don't understand!!and how could they?I would'nt imagine this- if I never felt it! I feel for you I really do~Alot of the things I used to enjoy...I don't anymore.When my friends ask me to make plans to go to the mall or do anything,I have to say"well,It depends on how I feel"and they look at me like I'm nuts~(90 percent of the time I stay home)I pretty much just do what I have to do to keep the kids going.Not a hell of alot of a social life!!
    I just wanted you to know that I understand how you feel.
    Keep posting.....the support here has helped me a great deal!Hope to hear from you again~
    Warm regards,
    Tracey
  10. 2manytears

    2manytears New Member

    Thank You for writing me back. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but I think that may be a miss diagnosis. I do not have "mania" stages, my depression is deep, and dark there are no high periods. Recently I have been paranoid and very anxious in situations where there are too many people. I don't even want to talk to my family because I have nothing to say, it is sad I know. My doctor is not treating my depression yet because my health is very poor. I have lung problems, and am constantly sick. I feel that I may need to be in the hospital but that is not an option because I have no one to care for my children, and I would lose my job. I can get counselling through a local center on a sliding scale but guess what I work for the organization, I work with the mentally ill. Strange isn't it, but I do have an important job. I really can relate to these people. My work does not know about my mental history or my hospitalizations, I would get fired for sure. I just do not know what to do, I do not have insurance, I just have no open avenues right now. I appreciate your time that you took to write me back. I could use it all.
    I sympathize with all of you too. It is hard to be where we are, and not everyone is understanding, Hang in there everybody, we can help each other.
    Thanks Shannon
  11. lucky

    lucky New Member

    My heart goes out for you that you have to suffer that much. The best advice I can give you is to find a doctor who first of all will treat you for the depression which most likely is caused by the chemical imbalances many of us have with these illnesses. When you have that under control, you will see how much different you see the world and also it will give you better control in coping with all the other stresses. I remember those times well, where I also felt like the world came to an end. But a depression should be looked after, and try to find a doctor fast who will treat and understand you. My best wishes, Lucky
  12. nancyneptune

    nancyneptune New Member

    that getting sick in crowds sounds like panic disorder to me. I have it and I was terribly sick(physically) with it. It was the worst sickness and fatigue and pain I've ever had. I went to a shrink and after we got my panic attacks under control, I no longer feel so dreadful. Now I feel the clear, sharp, easy to identify pain of fibro. Which is absolutely no picnic, but it is much, much different from the deathly illness I felt when I was having panic attacks all day every day. I hope you get the right help,I know that feeling of despair all too well. hugs, N
  13. melksng

    melksng New Member

    Hi 2many,
    I really feel for you because i understand completely, Im 15 years old and never go out anywhere anymore. I am always depressed and upset, I cant stand being around people anymore, even answering the phone or the door makes me feel sick to the stomache. I do homeschooling because i just couldnt cope at school and being around so many people, I have panic attacks and have lost my social life completely. The only time i ever get out is when i go shopping with my mother and that just makes me sick. I cry so often for no reason at all, even if i spill a glass of water i cry for hours and cant stop. I go through the same routine everyday and Sometimes i think its my fault i have this disease, that i have done somthing so terrible that it is a punishment. i always wonder why i cant be like other teens. Please know if u need someone to talk, im always here,....Hugz Melissa

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