DHS served son with child support papers, info needed

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hagardreams, Dec 27, 2006.

  1. hagardreams

    hagardreams New Member

    My son has not seen his daughter in over a year. We have no idea where they moved to, and now DHS has filed papers to get child support from him. While I agree that he needs to be paying child support, why should he have to pay if he has no idea where his daughter is. They have been no help what so ever in telling us where she is.

    I have contacted some attorneys, and hope to hear something soon.

    I was just wondering if any of you have knowledge about this stuff. Alexis is 5 now, and should be in school somewhere. I hurt so bad for her. Her mom was diagnosed with a mental illness when she was only 15 years old. She is really bad off. She does nothing to get the help she needs, and even denies that she has any problems. She plays people, and most of the time they believe here.
    I have known her since she was in 4th grade. I did volunteer work at the school her and my boys attended. While I care about Ginger, the mom, I am really upset that she denies that she has any problems, and wont get any help. Right now my biggest concern is my grandbaby. I havent seen her in over a year, and it hurts so bad.
    Please if anyone has delt with this, please advise us.
    Thanks and God bless, Julie
  2. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    Your son can go to jail or even prison if he refuses to pay child support. Period. Yes, it's unfair that he is ordered to pay without seeing his daughter, but not illegal. If your son goes to any court stating he's not paying support because he doesn't get to see his daughter, the court will not have one shred of sympathy for him.

    With all of the kidnapping and domestic violence, DHS and child support workers are not allowed to provide personal information to the other party. It's a safety issue.

    If the attorneys cannot find them, perhaps your son should hire a private detective to find them. Then he should try to get custody, which should result in at least visitation. And if the judge or magistrate sees that he has been keeping up with his support payments, they will think that he sincerely loves his daughter, and he's not just trying to get the child so he won't have to pay child support.

    On the bright side, once he does get court-ordered visitation, just as he can go to jail for nonpayment of support, she can go to jail for failure to comply with court-ordered visitation.

    Please advise your son to stay on the side of the law!
  3. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    when he finally got visitation rights, then the mentally disturbed mother of his daughters accused him of sexually abusing her daughters. She used this as the excuse why she ran and hid. It got ugly, really ugly.

    There are no easy answers for stuff like this. My heart goes out to you. I really think you need to see a good lawyer in your state. I don't know if the laws vary from state to state on issues like visitation/child support payments/etc.
  4. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member


    Visitation and Child support are indeed 2 different issues. Now that your son has an order for child support, he can go ahead and pay it, and then work on getting visitation. I am fairly sure that he cannot be held liable for child support during the time that she was not in contact with him...but not sure about that.

    I have a bit of info. I am in California, so not sure which state you are in, and if the child is in the same state. If your son was married and is listed on the birth certificate, your DIL can be charged with moving out of state without his permission (must be in writing), unless the DIL was granted sole legal and physical custody. If that has happened, your son will need to go to court and fight it. He would have had to have been served papers if this was the case. There are lots of father's rights lawyers and groups out there now. What is interesting is that he could not have been paying child support to the mother if he did not know where they were.

    I was not married to my daughter's father. I went to court and got sole legal and physical custody, but I could not waive child support. The judge said that my situation might change (which is has) and the father may need to pay child support at some later date. By getting sole legal and physical custody, I do not have to tell him anything. I do not have to get his written permission to take the child out of state, or to move out of state. All I have to do is allow him "reasonable visitation". I do not have to allow him to have any input on where she goes to school, what she does, etc. I actually have not put him on the list of people allowed to pick my daughter up from private school. He has to have permission from me each time he does pick her up. I like it that way. Oh, by the way, I am in close contact with his family in FL and I have no problem sharing my daughter's life with them. My daughter continues to be disappointed in her father...who did not show up for Christmas, or even call. Sad since he lives 7 miles away, and I pay for his cell phone so that our daughter can contact him.

    Good luck, and I would certainly press to find out if the DIL has gone to court for sole custody.


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