Did anyone have to leave a job that they loved?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by SweetT, Jan 2, 2007.

  1. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    Hi everybody,

    There has been many posts about people having to leave their jobs of many years due to our illnesses. However, it appears to me that the stressors of the job hastened that process. It led me to a question:

    How many of you actually had jobs that you loved (no backstabbing coworkers or bosses from heck, etc.), before you had to leave, never to return to 'regular'(meaning 9 to 5)employment?
    [This Message was Edited on 01/02/2007]
  2. netnut

    netnut New Member

    Well I dont know if my situation falls quite under your definition of the job that I loved because I did have backstabbing coworkers and a boss I would have gladly shoved under a bus but I did love the job that I did.

    I had a really good job doing something that I really loved and was good at. I miss it everyday. I ended up quitting for a variety of reasons but the main one was that my mom became very ill with alzheimers and there was no one else to care for her and they wouldnt give me time off to get her situation settled. I do think that even if the situation with my mom hadnt come up that I would have been forced to leave fairly soon because of my health and my mental health conditions. I had been off several times for weeks on end because of the fibro and the bipolar not being treated adequately.

  3. wish_to_be_healthy

    wish_to_be_healthy New Member

    I was a undergrad student, who was designing a show at Unviserity, interning on a show ath the Guthrie Lab in Minnepolis, and worked in the costume shop at my school the U of MN..and taking Graduate level design classes

    ...also got kicked out of our rental becasue it was sold...and then 4 days later, we got notice to vacate...Bought a house, and planned a wedding...made my wedding dress...

    In November/December 89 I fell into an 8 month flare...Came out of it, got married...tried to finish my incompletes...got Gullaum-Barre, and was paralized

    ...got plasma apheresis, and new plasma...thought I was "cured", looked at and visited 7 grad schools, incluing YALE school of drama, and Carnegie Mellon, where I was accepted

    ...Came back, got real sick again...Deferred for a year...Got the diagnosis of Lupus (CFS was before this) Dropped out of my costuming jobs, dropped out of school one quarter shy of graduating Summa Cum Laude!

    Did I give up a good job? Yes...but what was more painful was this disease stealing my dreams...and my vitality to make my visions a reality!

    It has been 20 years of ups and downs...the last 2 1/2 yrs has been a steady decline since moving back up north to a cold wet climate from dry inland So Cal, where I felt better...

    I have now tied that flare in 89-90...I have been sick for 8 months in this last flare, that actually has been going down hill since moving "home"...2 1/2 years ago.

    Today, I hate my disease...it has robbed me of my youth at 23...I am looking at being 43, and what does the future hold?

    I am a survivor...No one can take that away from me, not even this DD!
    [This Message was Edited on 01/02/2007]
  4. judyi5050

    judyi5050 New Member

    Yes, I too had to leave a job I loved because of FM. I had not missed a single day, I dealt with the pain and never told anyone about it, but I couldn't hide the brain fog. I couldn't concentrate,focus on and finish a task. I am so disappointed because there was no stress at all on this job. The boss was a wonderful gentle christian and my co-workers were fun and friendly. But, since I was the payroll manager, being constantly behind on all my work could not be accepted. I also realize that I will never be able to do this kind of work again and don't know where to turn now career-wise.
  5. Charleen

    Charleen New Member

    I taught handicapped teenagers at our local high school. It was hard job but it was somthing I love to do. I miss it so much. But I know I can not longer do my job. It was very strenuous toward the end. But I was a one on one teacher and I needed to see my student graduate. I turned my parking place in the day after he graduated.
    I agree the stress from my job didn't help things any. Neither did the people I worked with.
    Sorry that probably wasn
    t what you whated to here. But there are those like me who have had to quite.
  6. charlenef

    charlenef New Member

    outside of the state being my boss i was the boss most of the time i ran a daycare i worked until i couldnt i held out hope for the first year thinking i could find something to make me better my husband helped me along with my mother inlaw to keep my daycare going but i knew it was over when closed charlene
  7. Rich333

    Rich333 New Member

    Hi to all,

    That is a good question. I miss the feeling of being able to handle things, of being respected. I was in electronics, I had my own business. It took me almost 20 years of hard work to build it up from nothing while hiding my illness, and going to bed right after supper while watching TV for my one hour so I had the strength for the next day.

    Now it is all gone. I flared badly in 97 trying to take care of Dad and keep it all going. I don't have a penny from that business, just a mountain of junk to get rid of. I am living off some stocks Dad left me when he died and Social Security.

    People I knew in that world mostly just laughed at me (literally) when I told them my CFIDS diagnosis. I stay home all the time except for going to the doctors and veterinarians for my cats, plus shopping for food once a week.

    No one seems to care much. No one calls me regularly, no one ever visits, I guess I am just road kill on the way to some golden land they are all striving for. The one bright spot is that I am out of that rat race to nowhere important and despite my pain and disability and tight budget I at least can have some spiritual peace in my life.

    Somewhere along the way we seem to become our jobs and that can't be good. People are worthy of respect for who they are. But you do miss it all. Just earning money was nice.

    We are not worthless people.
  8. MamaDove

    MamaDove New Member

    I owned and operated a very successful pet grooming salon.

    When I first got sick I was an office manager/accounting expert/salesperson...well basically ran the firm I worked for...Then moved to Maine (big mistake)...Got hurt at work, ruined my neck which started the myriad of symptoms, then got sick with IBD due to all the meds I took for the neck and such, so basically the beginning of the end for me.

    Pain management and rehab and all the so-called professionals telling me what I can and can't do UNTIL I ran back home to NY and started over...

    I always wanted to work with animals but I knew not as a vet, so I went to grooming school (against my docs wishes and my bodys capabilities) BUT I DID IT!!!! One of my greatest accomplishments...I excelled easily and worked for two companies, not long tho due to their practices and of course, my limitations...SO I knew I had the smarts to open my own shop but I did so after moving BACK to Maine (mistake #2, but now, I digress)

    My hubby helped me and I did what I could, each and every day getting worse health-wise...I knew I had only a limited amount of time before things got me and I was determined to do it no matter how long I had...

    It all ended for me in 2004, and then everything stopped October 2004...I finally won my disability and now am trying to recover from a severe bout of IBD and auto-immune disease...

    From my old world, to my new world...It's been quite a ride!
  9. aquabugs

    aquabugs New Member

    I worked as an environmental scientist, monitoring the water quality in lakes and streams. My work place was pretty laid back and I had wonderful, understanding bosses who did all they could to help me keep working as long as I possibly could. I also enjoyed my co-workers.

    I never have been one to get involved in office politics, don't care about em, so I haven't been bothered by backstabbing or if it occurred, I wasn't aware or bothered by it.

    I just enjoyed almost all aspects of my job. By the time I got bored being in the office, it was time to spend a few days out in the field collecting samples. It was my dream job. It just got to be too demanding on me physically. Besides the heavy work collectiong samples, I commuted about 50 miles each way, plus drove long distances on sampling trips. Many days I drove over 300-400 miles on top of all the actual work. My body just gave out.

    I've been off work now since September 2005. I am finally getting some satisfaction from working in my glass studio.
    Hoping to get even more during this new year.

    But, if my health were to improve to the point where I could be dependable and not be killing myself doing it, I'd go back to my old career in a heartbeat.

    [This Message was Edited on 01/02/2007]
  10. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    Thanks everyone for such fine replies. I appreciate the honest answers, no matter how unpleasant or shocking that they might be, because of my sparked curiousity in the subject.

    Hootie, my situation is similar to yours in that the 20 mile each way commute to and from work is wearing me out. It can vary between taking 25 minutes to an hour, depending on traffic and road conditions, to get to work and then back home. It's getting to the point where between being a mom and a homemaker is clashing with working full-time, along with CFIDS and Fibromyalgia and possibly Lupus. Yes, I am looking for employment closer to home. But then there's giving up my seniority and taking a pay cut.

    Rich, you are so correct with your comment about how we are all worth alot, whether or not we work outside of the home. In my local newspaper was an article about a former nurse who had some illnesses and had to stop working, needing housing assistance. I thought about how people often frown down on those receiving public assistance, without realizing that alot of those people were professionals who made alot of money before their illnesses got the best of them.

    Oftentimes, I feel really bad when I see people 5 and 10 years younger than me, making $20,000 more per year than I do, knowing that I really don't have the energy to stay in the rat race. But then I have to think about those who are older than me, and might make $20,000 less than I do.

    Now that I have high-speed internet access (goodbye dial-up, for only $2 more per month), I'd like to look into working from home on the weekends, for extra money and to possibly supplement my income should I take a much-needed medical and spiritual leave of absence.
  11. cupimick

    cupimick Member

    I can just say that all of you sum up whay I feel.I do not think there is any company out there where there isn't backstabbing and cliches. I just did my job and I did love it it was so rewarding . I was in Telecom as an account Rep and in charge of million dollar accounts. I made decent money and I worked with a sales partner who made the six figure salary, we had a great working relationship which I miss.

    I has so much that I had dreamed of doing and money isn't everything but when you are sick , you need good benefits and my benefits were excellent. My husband never worked as hard as I did and unfortunately being that I was very young at 18 I was much to young to get married. Now that his money train is no longer able to work. Yoiu really find out a person's true character. He has went from jobn to job making nothing . I am getting SSDI but its very little and no where able to cover bills and my expensive meds. His cobra is horrible pays for nothing.

    He works for UPS and only works 3 hrs and complains how hard it is.., I am ashmed to day I made a big mistake marrying him and now am stuck with this dd and no sight of improvement.

    God, If I had only not been so naive, I could have saved myself from a life of hell. When you are an independent hard working career person who has motivation and also thinks about the future like being set for retirement, we all do one day. My hubby never did, and he has nothing, as far as money if he were to die. He has nothing saved just the money I saved which he has managed to blow since he has left so many jobs. I know there are men and women working 2 and 3 jobs and he complains about UPS!!

    I think it is sad but yes I would give anything to be able to go back to work and was offered three months ago my old job but when you can have a severe case of fibro where you can't drive and in constant pain, It broke my heart cause I had a good record and 10 years I would have had a pension and lifetime benefits. Each yr I keep praying but am beginning to think its a waste.

    So yes, I did love working and it made me feel like I was something, felt confident and like I was making a difference plus people seem to judge you on what you do. It made me valued.
    now I feel like I am a disabled, damaged goods.

  12. Clay2

    Clay2 New Member

    After 35 years in the classroom, I worked for the state for a few years training other teachers. Then I struck out on my own for 18 months. I couln't believe what districts will pay for a good consultant. Unfortunately, I felt the need to give them their money's worth and more, plus many of the districts were 100 miles from my home. The stress really took its toll.

    I loved my work. I loved being at the pinnacle of my career. I loved having no boss whatsoever.

    I doubt I'll ever get back because it was just too demanding.
    I can go do some of the same things as volunteer work at some point, but it won't fill the void.
  13. keke466

    keke466 New Member

    I worked in nursing,and was good at it, and as hard as it was on me and the longer I worked I got worse,I still wish I was there. I probably would be there now if I hadn't gotten fired.I was too scared to just quit but of course if I had quit I wouldn't have been able to draw unemployment. Me and the boss didn't get along,I always said it was because I knew more than her and was better at it LOL, and she fired me for something she knew I didn't do and she couldn't prove it so I won my unemployment and have been on that but it's running out and I have to go back to work somewhere. I was in nursing for 17yrs. and I miss it bad and I miss the girls I worked with and miss the having someone to talk to everyday.

    To me that's where alot of my depression came from when this first happened. If I sit around and think about it much I could drive myself crazy so I try to block it out of my mind anymore. I'm single so I have no choice but to work but it sure is hard to work with FM. I have no idea what I'm gonna do,haven't found anything yet that won't be too hard on me.

  14. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Count me in as one who had to leave a job that they loved!

    I worked a high-stress, high-paying job for 30 years! I absolutely LOVED my job!!!

    I ended up taking early retirement, but NOT due to fibro alone. It was due to a combination of all of my illnesses--heart problems, diabetes, back issues, lupus, etc.

  15. dragon06

    dragon06 New Member

    I used to work in the Pet industry. I worked at and managed pet stores. It was very much fun...I loved working at my job, I miss it all the time.
  16. pastorwife

    pastorwife Member

    I loved my jobs until they started hounding me about my sick time. I never used more than I had acrued but when I got a cold, or flu, or strep, I was out for days at a time. Along with extreme cramps for a day each month. I changed jobs every 2 years or so.

    I tried several different jobs and places of employment since 1992, mostly computer programming types and did them well. The accomplishments felt great. It felt good to be around others and mentor and help coworkers. Eventually (1999) I could not do programming because of the fibro-fog (not diagnosed yet). Finally I left work to go to school and became a pastor.

    I don't know if I loved being a pastor as I started 7/1/01 and when 9/11/01 happened I lasted until 9/15 and had to be hospitalized. It was determined that I could no longer (never) work.

    I did hate having to work when I was in pain or fatigued but I don't think I hated the jobs themselves. It's true you really miss something when it's gone. Knowing I won't be able to work again might be making my previous jobs seem a little sweeter than they really were. Just not sure.

  17. Zzzsharn

    Zzzsharn New Member

    Hootie wrote: "our work and pay do not define who we are"

    Can I get an AMEN!

    I'm still plugging along at my job, but I often feel like I'm half @ssin it, just to get thru the day.

    I haven't quit yet, there's a big part of me that wants to, but I think my illness would swallow me up.

    My FMLA is up at the end of this month.. I don't even know if I can go back on it or if I need to start thinking about leaving and applying for disability..

    Everything seems like such a struggle.

  18. michele3322

    michele3322 New Member

    Yes I loved my job I was kinda a jack of all trades.I was a salon manger,that also had a boutquie in it. I was the buyer and merchadicer"soory about the spellin" I was also a make up artist.I did all of this for almost 17yrs. Yes my job was very stressfull having to deal with bitchy people and all ,but I have always been a people person so you know all that was right up my alley. I had to stop the pain was too much it hurt to apply my own make up,my brain fog is so bad I can no longer multi task.I have lost most of the people I worked with as freinds they don't get it. They don't get why I don't just come up there and hang out,well first of all I fell like road kill and second of all I'ts very painful to be there and not be myself anymore it make me feel as though I"m smothering. sorry so long winded.
  19. balletdancer74

    balletdancer74 New Member


    I couldn't pass this post up! First I was a professional ballet dancer who went to college during her time off. As political and backstabbing and competitive a career it is (one has to live and breathe it - i.e. eating, taking class every day, rehearsing, performing, etc.), I loved it and it came "easy" to me. What a rush to hear the applause after or during a performance! Oh well...

    After a foot surgery which ended my career when I was 21, I graduated from college with a degree in English (hard to believe these days with the way I write sometimes! lol).

    I than got a great job at a big record label in publicity in NYC. What I wouldn't do to be back there. Yes, it was stressful and filled with neurotic people, but so is ballet, so I was used to it! I just didn't have to care about what I ate. haha

    I never thought I took anything for granted, but I guess I have since, like many human beings, I had days where I complained about having to go into work...sigh...Granted, I was already developing FM/MPS complex unbeknownst to me. I was only in my early twenties.

    I miss the interaction of people, the laughs, the "good stress," the artists and bands with whom we dealt some famous and some new. It was a very interactive job. Ok - and I miss the perks like free cds, concert tickets, gifts from colleagues, famous artists...*grin* I promise I'm not shallow, but it was pretty fun. I also miss my paycheck! ha...

    So, now I've become an advocate/volunteer for FM/MPS complex and CFIDS/M.E. Of course, I've got more than that, but I feel the need to take a proactive approach not only towards my health, but towards the "cause" since very few people/groups are helping us...

    To better days...They will come, and I'm one of the most cynical people in the world...right up there with Oscar Wilde! :)

    LB32 (Leeza)

    Pardon any typos, but I suffer from the rare 24/7, incessant head pain which makes looking at the screen difficult.
  20. mamagibby

    mamagibby New Member

    I too had to give up my jobs, I worked at two Michael's stores teaching "One Stroke" painting.

    First I gave up one store then a year later the other one.
    I can and still do paint, it helps me keep my sanity!!

    I think what I miss most is the interaction with others, and having someplace to go. A purpose.

    I can relate to what most of you have said about how our careers define who we are. From childhood we are asked "what do you want to be when you grow up"?
    Well I'm almost 50 and for the most part "grown-up", but in my wildest nightmare did I envision being where I am now.

    I am blessed to have a loving and supporting husband, and faith. I also have a great doctor who finally, correctly, diagnosed me with fibro. He's also of the mind that we do not need to be in pain, in fact it makes this disease worse!

    There are many things I miss from my "old" life, mostly the ability to choose what I want to do, instead of what can I do.

    Thankyou for the post-we are all worthy people, none of us asked for this or deserve to be sick!

    Tender hugs to all,

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