Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by roadkill, Jun 28, 2006.

  1. roadkill

    roadkill New Member

    My cousin told me her husband wanted to know if I was having a relationship with a married man. As gracefully as I could, I e-mailed her and told her that I was shocked they would inquire and neither had I wanted anyone to inquire about something as personal as my sex life. (actually, I have no sex life!but that's beside the point,and I sure hope this aint going to be a long drought:)

    Then I explained my relationship with my roommate. As closely as I can describe it, he is like an ideal big brother, my pal, my chum. He patiently waits while I get up off the ground when my energy suddenly drains away. I want this support to continue and I will not do anything to jeopardize it.

    I didn't tell my cousin, but his wife is approving of these temporary living arrangements and visits as often as she can. We are all supporting each other in some way.

    I've been hurting over this because someone suspected me of something I hadn't done. I'm so tired. I just feel so raw and vulnerable. The last thing I want is to have to expend precious energy having to defend myself. Just the task of thinking clearly takes a lot of work to cut through the fog, let alone trying to make words come off my tongue in the right order. Now try doing that when one is upset on top of it all.

    For a male (that I don't share intimate stuff with)to ask about this I just feel violated. Even though I understand their curiosity, I feel a boundary has been brutally crossed.

    Am I being too sensitive? Was I wrong to be shocked and am I wrong to feel like I was attacked? Do people have a right to ask me a question like this?
  2. gidgetsmom

    gidgetsmom New Member

    I don't think you're being to sensitive at all!!! Your relationships sexual or otherwise are NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!!
    You shouldn't have to defend or explain yourself to anyone.

    I think your friends support is admirable!! And you're right we are all supporting each other in some way. I would let them think whatever they wanted!!

    Hold your head up high, look them in the eye, and tell them to butt out!!!
  3. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    They were rude and crude and they had no right asking.

    You did not have to explain anything to her (them).

    I understand you feeling violated and all.

    But you handled it well. Try and put it behind you and chalk them up as insensitive idiots!

    Gentle Hugs and Blessings........Susan
  4. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    some people just do not get the idea that opposite sex's could only stay friends...i have some of them myself...

    i just don't live with them...because i enjoy my privacy...

    but i commend them for atleast asking you instead of going around and spreading rumors...

    it is hard to tell from the outside what is going on behind closed doors....

    no. i do not think you are being too sensitive...all you could really say is we are friends like you said...and i am sorry if you do not approve of it...but it is working for you right now...and maybe this is a temporary situation...you just need some help right now...

  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    The times, they are a-changing as my fellow Minnesotan Bob Zimmerman said.

    When I was a kid half a century ago it was a disgrace for an unwed girl to get pregant or for a couple to have an affair outside of marriage. A divorced politican could not get elected.

    Now the most admired and highly-paid people in the country (actors) go on TV and talk about their affairs, out of wedlock kids, etc.

    So was the question intended to cause trouble to just showing an interest?

    Or look at it this way. I don't care if people call me gay, homo or queer. It's the intent that counts.

[ advertisement ]