Disability Paradox is a kick in the *** to our paled pride

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ForeverFly, Mar 19, 2007.

  1. ForeverFly

    ForeverFly New Member

    I want to fly again...and I will, but my wings have been clipped for years.I was FINALLY diagnosed after 3 years of not living, but slowly dying,in bed. I am patiently rising yet live in guilt that my parents are paying over $2000 in medical expenses per month plus my rent, food, car, EVERYTHING after (and mostly before) my husband left me in June. I am 33 and completely dependent on my parents financially. The most unselfish thing I can do is go for disability after the money my family has paid for me &,honestly, in taxes the last sixty years. I struggle with embarrassment requesting disability at 33 because I believe I should be stronger. Right now I cannot afford my medical expenses nor hold a job, yet I am dedicated to healing. I have been too proud to apply for assistance as are many FMS patients. My goal is to use the meager help to get back on my feet-not to sit on my ass. Your article could have punched me in the stomach a few months ago; be careful...some of us hate a handout already. Do not assume you are speaking to the masses...we go through enough issues of self worth and burdening the world. Dr. Pellegrino, I think you need to consider the importance of temporary disability. Thank God my family has helped, what about the less fortunate? A little more empathy & faith are what we need. Anyone else feel the same? I am new to the boards and am curious about the feelings of other FMS FRIENDS...we all need a back up team sometime-if we are not in this together... we may fall apart. Hugs to all, ForeverFly
  2. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    I don't understand it when people say they are too proud to apply for assistance but will accept it from a family member. I'm sorry, this might sound harsh but when someone says I'm too proud to apply for assistance, it sounds a lot like "I'm too good to apply for assistance."

    I have FMS, I paid into Social Security and paid taxes. Why wouldn't I take advantage of it if I needed it - I would not begrudge it to someone else who needed it even if they never paid a penny into the system. If you need it then you need it.
  3. enjoysue

    enjoysue New Member

    I wish Dr. Pellegrino, would have summed up what the heck he was trying to say. I am left scratching my head.

    I find I am in a flare always. I've not been sleeping well and one day last week I only got 2 hours of sleep. Since then my muscles are spasming and the muscles are twitching plus my legs are actually buzzing. A day off here and there won't cut it. I tried that when I worked and I couldn't even think straight. Apparently his brain has been left intact. I'm not so lucky.

    I get disability and have the last 9 years. I'm sorry if you feel I am a drain on society but I help mankind in a different way.

    I hope you foreverfly finally do file for disability. Your parents could use a break. Oh, and the rest of the letter is meant for Dr. Pellegrino and not you.
  4. ForeverFly

    ForeverFly New Member

    Sometimes we all need a little reinforcement. I should not be "too proud," you are right and I know that. I was an overachiever all my life until the FMS Whammy. I am sure you understand that on a rare good day I start questioning whether I really need the disability, but truly it is the right option. I am surprised that the newsletter even included Dr. Pellegrino's article.

    Thank you for your honest words,
  5. crisleem

    crisleem New Member

    It has taken me nearly 8 years to finally apply. I don't EXACTLY know why other than I figured if I was still able to walk then I shouldn't apply. And I was able, until last year to at least work part time. When my problem first became almost constant (8 yrs ago) I owned and operated a Cleaning Service. I lost what I had built. I found I had to hire employees to do the work I couldn't. It finally became more expensive to keep the business than to let it go. It broke my heart.
    I don't know if I will received any benefits (I have earned enough in the past to be considered), but they have been very kind when I have spoken with anyone.
    Last week I was told to report to a psychologist. My thoughts were, "oh great they think I'm insane." My first GP 8 years ago thought so too. And I happily obliged him by going to counseling and seeing a psychiatrist. Neither thought I was nuts.
    Honestly I would have applied if not working hadn't put such a huge burden on our family. I don't know why some of us feel guilty for taking help, but I don't think that guilt makes us bad people. I just kept saying there are so many others that need more than I. But I'm trying to just let it go now.
    I too still have hope for improvement and will gladdly go back to work! I had/have so many dreams I still want to achieve and I'm just not CURRENTLY able.
    Good luck with your claim and your intended improvement.

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