disabled drivers

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ephemera, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. ephemera

    ephemera New Member

    I'm really struggling with my feelings & guilt about something I did. Yesterday I was driving my car & I was the 2nd car going into an intersection.

    The old van in front of me had a disabled plate & had clearly been in several accidents (lots of significant dings, dents & a trashed out bumper & tail light).

    When the light turned green the van moved quickly about 3/4 the way into the intersection. I was right behind it & I nudged forward & so did the car behind me.

    The driver of the van blocked 1 of the 2 lanes while trying to turn left. Yes, left turns cause the biggest number of accidents. Needless to say there was nearly another one as the driver just stopped & lots of car horns started (not mine). Our light turned red & the other light turned green. Then the van turned sharply left & cut off another car going forward. I was left situated ahead of the crosswalk & unable to back up as the car behind me was right up against my bumper. It was a very scary scene & way too close!

    I suddenly felt rage come out of my throat & I screamed at the driver. I said something to the effect that given his or her license plate, no wonder his car is smashed, etc.

    Instantly I knew I'd said something inexcusable against a driver with a disability plate. I felt lousy. I wannted to put the words back into my mouth. Yes, I know it was part of the automobile anger that changes our personality behind the wheel.

    I've talked to myself about it. Like many people, I've worked on discrimination & -isms over decades. Still, this came through loud & clear. It wasn't my normal voice & I wish it didn't happen & I'm very uncomfortable with it.

    Was I venting because I was in a situation where there could have easily been an accident involving me or someone else? Was I not identifying with the other driver, trying to distance myself as if to say I was not like him or her? Is this some internalized fear of how things could be? Was I afraid that the stereotype I'd applied to the van driver would be applied to me in a different situation? (I have a disabled window placard for the rear window.)

    Has anyone else had similar experiences or feelings? I hope by confronting my discriminatory behavior I'm less likely to have this outburst again.

    Hard to write about this, but necessary. Thanks for your understanding.
  2. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    Danger has a way of bringing out things in us that normally wouldn't, and the fact of being in a position of feeling helpless just adds to that.

    Don't be so hard on yourself it's just something that happened.

    I believe it was the frustration of the situation that caused you to say that. We all do things that we regret later on, that's how we learn.

    Take Care
  3. smiffy79

    smiffy79 New Member

    dont beat yoruself up honey.

    unfortunatly we as disabled drivers are left to decide for ourselves if we are capable or not of being in control of that vehicle and many ppl despite not being capable still do.

    i noticed a lot of older drivers (including my grandfather) should have given up driving but there are ppl who see it as their right and not the privilidge it is.

    in a sense your right and there ARE some ppl who should be taken off the road but i think we all shout or say daft things when we are in the car. just take a deep breath in future but i wouldnt store too much time or thought in what you said.
  4. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    He was probably just a lousy driver. Period. He probably was a lousy driver long before he ever became disabled, in whatever way he was disabled. The disability just amplifies the fact that he's a bad driver.

    I am not disabled....don't have a handicapped plate or placard. probably could qualify if I pushed for it. My kids are both learning to drive. one just got license,,the other is getting it soon. I tell them if I had to pass a license test today I would probably fail it.

    the point is that I'm still a good driver even though I'm impaired because over the years i've learned to compensate for certain things, like not driving in heavy traffic, or when it's dark, or when I'm not up to par....and I have remained a capable driver. that fool probably hasn't, and never should have had a license in the first place.

    hope it makes sense. don't feel too bad for yelling at him.

  5. sisland

    sisland New Member

    I'm with Michelle on the Limits!! also I take the Back roads when possible! It's Hard to think i might not have the best reflexes when it coms to driving in Heavy Traffic!! Being on the Meds puts a big limit on Driving so ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I try to pick the best time of day to run errands and stuff! Like not in rush Hr. or when school gets out! but yes i know it's scary!!.....................................But then it's one of those wonderful things we have to deal with with these DD's ........................Sisland
  6. ephemera

    ephemera New Member

    thanks to all of you for your thoughts!

    After writing this I realized how I don't get angry & upset & scream at pedestrians.

    I guess my anger is more directed to whoever is behind the wheall of all kinds of vehicles.

    very best thoughts to all!