Disrespectful Doctor

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by georgianewyork, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. georgianewyork

    georgianewyork New Member

    Hi all,
    It has been many years since I have encountered a doctor who totally dismissed any existence of CFS/ME. I had been fortunate during the years I was extremely ill to find an Infectious Disease doctor who actually diagnosed me and took my back when I was in need of other specialists. Of course some of the doctors I had to follow up with required weeding out. We all know that feeling when they look at you like you are faking it or just a fruit loop.

    I suppose today's post is just for support as I thought the medical community was getting on board more and more.

    Yesterday I saw a well respected and well liked Orthopaedic Surgeon for a knee consult. This surgeon also happens to be in the OR regularly with my cousin who is a CRNA. I truly thought I was in good hands.

    I have learned to bring my medical bio, which of course which reads like War and Peace these days. Besides, who can possibly remember all of this accurately? Brain fog or not, I am truly a "See Attached" girl for filling out medical info sheets.

    When the surgeon came into the exam room, we briefly discussed the problems I was having with my leg. Upbeat and quite cheerful, I explained how an old injury snuck up on me after deconditioning over the last seven years. He looked at me a tad puzzled and then began to read my bio. He said very abruptly "what has been wrong with you??" almost in a taunting manner. I have had doctors state they did not understand or even believe that CFS exists.
    No, this man threw his hand up in the air and quite brashly said "this CFS stuff is crap, I don't buy it" and went into a lather as if I had done something wrong. I tried to calmly address the situation by telling him I was happy to have the best knee surgeon on Long Island but did not need him to address any other part of my body. I explained I have doctors who take care of the rest of me. This was all delivered with a sincere smile on my part. The rest of the exam was so uncomfortable. He was abrupt, unpleasant and almost disinterested in taking the case.

    I felt like I did many years ago when I was literally crawling from one doctor to another trying to find out what was stealing my life. What a horrible flashback to those physicians who had me sobbing in hallways after being told it was all in my head.

    I know many of you can relate. Do I want this man operating on my body after yesterday's humiliation and belittlement? I think not.

    Thanks for letting me vent to others who have been there.
    God bless,
  2. Cinderbug

    Cinderbug New Member

    Both my doctor that I had for 30 years and the doctor who took over his practice 3 years ago had no doubt that FMS and CFS is real.

    In fact my old doctor had to convince ME because I wasn't sure it was real until it attcked ME.
    Also, suprisingly to me, the many RN's that worked with me also totally believed it was real. I was then sent to 3 specialists and even once to an ER doctor who concurred with my doctor's dx of CFS and FMS and totally believed in the diagnosises.

    Then last summer my hubby talked me into seeing HIS doctor who he thinks the world of and was sure he could help me.

    It was the most embarrassing, insulting experiences I ever had. My sister went with me, and she was amazed how rude and misinformed this man was! He told me it was an anxiety problem and told me to get back to work!!!

    I hadn't been able to leave my house alone in 3 years and can barely function. I had never ran into someone with his strong viewpoint of CFS and FMS before! He repeated MANY times that hundreds of doctors share his opinion on this. I asked if he ever checked the CDC website about CFS and he said no.

    After 2 visits I never went back! OMG! Now I know what people are talking about when they tell me about people that think like that!! I just had never been treated that way by a so called professional before!!!

    It was humiliating and know how you feel!

    Good Luck,

  3. kat0465

    kat0465 New Member

    I'm Afraid, after what i saw on the aol front page just a minute ago :( right there in big black letters, "Fibro my not be real illness" it's saying Pfizer and eli lilly have spent all this money pushing these meds, on something thier not eve sure is real!!!????!!! and then they go on to say that thats more then they spend on real diseases.they say these drug companys are hyping it up to boost sales, and make tons of Money............ Sigh,at a time where im about to file for disability, this just makes me sick. who in the world would want to be this sick!! i would give anything to have my old self back.Just when we have some breakthroughs with the medical community, it starts up again. I dont know what its gonna take Honestly!
  4. georgianewyork

    georgianewyork New Member

    I do so appreciate your reply. At least we know for the hundreds of doctors who don't believe, we have to value the ones that do.

    I try to keep the mindset of being as water and let the hurtful things just flow around and pass by. It has been a while since I actually felt that little voice sneak in that wanted to tell this very rude surgeon.... " try this illness for six months and then tell me it is all in one's head."
    The urge was strong but I took the high road.

    Keep the faith that your health is returning.
  5. georgianewyork

    georgianewyork New Member

    It is frightening how the drug companies seem to control everything. It is difficult enough finding a doctor to believe and support you, but this is over the top.

    I wanted to wish you all the best with filing for disability. I know when I went to apply for a personal disability policy, before I had to stop working to ensure enough income to survive on... well the insurance companies are fully aware of CFS/FM. They turned me down flat as far as the insurance policy. I did however get my disability very quickly.

    I agree with you. Who in the world would want to be sick?? They do make it difficult for us but that is what we have each other for.
    All the best,
  6. scarletstang

    scarletstang New Member

    Georgia, I am so sorry you have been treated with such disrespect. Like you, I have been beaten down a lot and sometimes I believe we become too passive with doctors as we have had to deal with so many of them. Over the years, I learned not to accept attitude and it's not acceptable. Here are a few phrases to be armed with, "You don't know how I feel, so don't patronize me," or, "Your disrespect is simply unacceptable." Here's a winner too, "Would you treat your wife or a member of your family the same way you are treating me." I have dumbfounded a couple of doctors with these phrases. I'd sure like to be working and be productive like everyone else; do they think we enjoy being sick?

    You take care of yourself and you are worth respect and don't forget that. Blessings to you also.
  7. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I know we're not supposed to wish this illness on other people but.....

    grrrrr! :l

    Sorry you had to endure that and I agree with you about not letting him operate on you. I wouldn't.

  8. emmally

    emmally New Member

    there is a big difference between doctors who chose to be one to help people and than there are the majority of doctors who chose to be a doctor for the prestige and salary. The one that chose to be a doctor to help people and who took their oath very seriously would NEVER say anything of the sorts. There are MANY MANY MANY doctors out there who really do not know much and are practicing. It is quite scary. I have doctor friends who have even said to me "half the time we are guessing in the ER and really have no idea"....It does not take a genious to be a doctor. It takes someone who it willing to dedicate a lot of time to studying to pass their boards and make it through med school. Thats about it....That is why it is sooo important to find a doctor who truely cares about his patients and isnt there for the paycheck.....

  9. georgianewyork

    georgianewyork New Member

    Trust me... that old thought of "try having this for even six months and you would change your mind" came to me. Then I decided to take the high road and just let it go.
    Agreed, I don't want this surgeon touching my knee as he already has an attitude.
    Thanks so much for the support!
  10. georgianewyork

    georgianewyork New Member

    You are soooo right about their oath and NEVER saying anything like this to a patient. I do know he is a brilliant surgeon and loved by everyone. Heck... I only went to him about my knee! It really did blow me away that he went off like that.
    Luckily I have a fantastic Primary Care Physician who is integrated and oh so supportive.
    We have to count our blessings.
    Really appreciate your input.
    With light,
  11. LindaJones

    LindaJones New Member

    People with CFS suffer enough.
    They don't need doctors telling them that they don't believe that CFS is a real medical condition. How long before this changes?
  12. I had a Physical therapist flippingly say "oh fibro, thats JUST muscle pain"

    OMG YOU have fibro then if its nothing, PAIN mine is severe. Days like today I can hardly stand it.

    Are you letting this dr do surgery on your knee?????
  13. georgianewyork

    georgianewyork New Member

    Quite amazing.. the lack of compassion.
    I just helped work a Leukemia benefit for one of my friends as I am in a pretty stable place right now. People ask me why I am not working as I look healthy,but I hesitate to even say CFS/FM. I start out saying ME... which they can't judge too quickly as the words baffle them. Have we been beaten up by the illness as well as the disrespect?
    Heck no... I don't care if he is the best knee surgeon on Long Island. No way is he working on me!
    Feel better butterfly and thanks.
  14. georgianewyork

    georgianewyork New Member

    You are absolutely right. There were times in the past when I was questioning why it was even worth surviving and then having to justify it to everyone. Now, I know why. We have to stand together for those that have not evolved as we have...sort of pioneer. God bless anyone who has lived this and kept their sense of humor. God bless anyone who does not know what is stealing their lives. If we can help, then we have made a difference.

    I thank my lucky stars that I have come through the real fire. Getting knocked back daily is tolerable, since I have regained some part of my life and energy. Mornings are fantastic these days. Of course we all know too well how fragile life is and what our limits are. The words cherish and appreciate have new meaning than they did for me pre 2002.

    I am truly finding the word Fatigue seems to foster a indifferent reaction. I have begun to use ME since the run in with the surgeon. There is a whole different reaction. I worked a Leukemia benefit for a few hours and when folks asked what I have... saying ME did not get the same reaction as CFS. How terrible that a simple definition could sway someone's mind set. I learned in sales when I was working.. PRESENTATION. Maybe that is what we need to strive for to be taken seriously.
    I hope your days get better and better!
  15. quanked

    quanked Member

    putting your hand up (like a traffic flagger) that says stop NOW! (If the doctor decides to go off on you with their vast wealth of accurate info) Then in even tones say "You are out of line sir. I will not tolerate your abusive tone or words." If the so called professional cannot control him/herself then I probably would walk out. I did this once to an RN.

    Who made these people GODS? I may sound intolerant but I am too old and too tired to put up with people who have no manners or sensitivities. I use to be a very agreeable and congenial individual. I try to be this when I meet up the same qualities. BOO to these nasty doctors.