Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by NyroFan, Oct 8, 2006.

  1. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Hello all:

    I have read posts about women 'in trouble' with their men.
    Divorce was touted as a possibility. I thought I would just share this.

    When I was diagnosed my husband considered me damaged goods.
    I just could not function anymore.

    Not even understanding what i was going through, i was distraught by his reaction.

    He refused to accept me as 'sick'. So, I pretended I was not.

    It did not last long. He told me that he did not accept me the way I was. We fought long and hard. Finally I told him to get out. He would not do it.

    I found out he had another woman, so I called an attorney and he was forced from the home.

    We went for the divorce and I let him know that I was so disappointed that the one who took me for better or worse, til death do we part, just could not take me the way I was.

    I was crushed but kicked him the heck out with the lawyers advice.

    The lawyer told me to 'take him for everything'. Since he was messing around with another woman it was not too difficult.

    I won the divorce, got the house, half the money and every thing else.

    Now I do not care. Although we had no children (only one who was struck down by a drunk driver at age 10---yes, another topic filled with rage), I was glad he was gone.

    Living alone was strange, but finally I learned to like it. I was relieved I did not have to fake the way I felt.

    For all of those with marriage problems, I just wanted to let you know that if you make any choices like I did, be prepared for a bumpy road that may work to your advantage.

    Finally I am free. I can do what I want when I want.
    Sure, I struggle with bills and have a part time venture, but i do manage.

    It really is the process of going through it all that is rough.

    For me, when it was over, I faced the depression and got over it.

    Finally I can be happy doing whatever I want when I want.

    I just wanted to share this because I have never done this here. Since I know there are women going through the same thing, just know that very often there is a freedom and joy at the end. And a new beginning.

    Thanks for listening.

  2. wkirk87

    wkirk87 New Member

    You truly are a wonderful and amazing person.
  3. MamaDove

    MamaDove New Member


    Thank you for sharing such a personal story...I am sorry you had to go through so much misery to find some happiness.

    Peaceful days ahead~Alicia
  4. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    To all:

    Thank you for giving me the trust to write what I did.
    Everyone is so honest it gave me courage.

    Donnaeil: Yes, it is rough. I heard an expression once:
    'To thine own self be true'.

    Difficult to do, but so true.

    Love to all.

  5. jole

    jole Member

    My daughter just went through a divorce - she hid all the bad stuff from us for the past 4 years, and we thought they were happy. So when she told us it was over, we went through the grief - and she, like you Donnaeil, was turning cartwheels!

    When we found out about all the lies and abuse she had been through, we were just stunned. she was so strong for so long. They have a 3 year old little girl, and are trying to get along for her sake, but it is hard. He still is playing mind games with her.

    She has moved to another town and says her daughter is her first priority, and means it. You two remind me of her. It takes so much determination and strength to see it through, but she is happy also now. Wish she wouldn't have suffered through it all in silence though.

    I wish you all much happiness. Life is so very hard at its best, that when anyone would rather go it alone we should know how hard it was for you.

    Friends - Jole
    [This Message was Edited on 10/09/2006]
  6. findmind

    findmind New Member

    You wonderful thing, you!!! Such honesty and sharing are priceless. I hope others who are in intolerable situations will take hope from it.

    I was in a marriage with someone who would not let me be myself. I was not sick then, but I had an opposing philosophy of life that I should have seen earlier would be a problem.

    They mentally abused my children and I would fly into rages and strike out at them; I became what I did not believe because I was so fearful for them.

    When I walked out with my two kids, I was free and quickly established a loving and peaceful existance for us. They have never forgotten how I left in order to protect them. They now are wonderful parents who will not tolerate abuse of any kind from their spouses.

    When our Self (sense of who we are) is threatened or damaged over time, it can lead to questioning what we should do. I have learned to follow my gut instinct and live to not only survive, but thrive.

    Bless you all who may be stranded by a spouse who does not care to understand what you are experiencing, or your needs for peace and help through each day. May you find the courage to walk your own path towards serenity.

    Bless you...
  7. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Bless your heart.....you go girl!!!

    I'll say it over and over and over....getting rid of a bum husband can lift so much weight from our shoulders you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

    You can feel crappy, need to work a part time job and manage money troubles all by yourself without someone else sabataging everything.

    Kids need love. They need to feel safe. We all do. Often a 2 parent home does NOT provide this.

    Happy Hugs,

    Nancy B

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