do we all feel lonely?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sixtyslady, Apr 15, 2006.

  1. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    I just read a post from Fibrolady37. and she said how lonely she feels I just want her to know that i think we all do, I know I don"t get many replies to my post either.but if there is just one it makes me feel good.
    I don"t have alot of tips to offer right now on how to get well, but I"m at a stage where I"m struggling with extreme fatique and anxeity. I post on the prayer board also and so many have prayed for me and I pray for all every night so I feel like I"ve made a few friends there. But this board is a life saver for me.families just don"t understand like someone who has this D.D.
    we need to know we"re not alone. it helps so much.
  2. claudiaw

    claudiaw New Member

    I just responded to the other post.

    I think it is very common when you have a chronic pain condition ( or overwhelming fatigue) to feel isolated.

    Simply because a large number of us can no longer get out into the world where the people are.

    We have to bring the world to us. That is why I decided to post on this board.

    If figured people were not going to show up at my door wanting to be friend's , so I had to find a way to connect and this is it for me.

    There is good medical info here as well, but I have studied alot to be pretty knowledgeable, so that wasn't an issue for me.

    This is my only connection to people, besides one friend I see 1 or 2 every 6mos. to a yr. And my husband. I also have 2 dog's, whom I'm glad can't talk.:) The thing's I've said to them!:)

    Anyway, if all us lonely people get together here, we shouldn't be lonely any more!:)


    [This Message was Edited on 04/16/2006]
  3. foxglove9922

    foxglove9922 New Member


    You are definitely not alone. I am going on year 5 now with CFS and my friends have been slowly backing away for some time now. The illness makes me very undependable and difficult to get out and do ANYTHING.

    This illness does truly take away from any quality of life, sad to say for me, it's only getting worse as time wears on.

    Sorry, I couldn't give any cheerful advise but that's the way it is for me.

    To make matters worse, my 18 year old daughter has suffered with CFS for 2 years and that is a painful thing as a mother to watch. She does not live the typical life of a be grateful that you did get some good years in your life.
  4. andnat

    andnat New Member

    Hi sixtyslady
    I feel so lonely is something I say in my journal everyday.

    I think cause so often I just need to talk and vent we all know how this can help us feel better, but usally there is no one to talk to cause everyone is going on with their busy lives. I feel left out and left behind which in turn

    makes me feel lonely. Whats awesome is I know Iam not entirely alone with all of you out there.

  5. pepper

    pepper New Member

    I think that any chronic illness results in incredible loneliness. I am lonely all the time despite having a caring DH and a son still at home. I have a son and DIL that visit regularly but I feel that I have to try and appear healthy when they are here so I am not a "downer".

    My friends have slowly slipped away over the last 13 yrs except for a few treasured friends that I treasure even more because they have stuck with me through all this. I can see them rarely but write or email or talk on the phone and ask for prayers and pray for them too.

    I am thankful for this board and all the wonderful people on it.

    (((HUGS)))You are not alone, dear. Pepper
  6. marilynb

    marilynb New Member

    Seems like even when my family is at home, I am still lonely, because they don't understand what I go through. I usually stay in my bedroom, while everyone else is in the living room. At least I have my computer & tv, so that helps. I just wish I could enjoy life & be a part of everything. All my family is gone this weekend & here I sit...

  7. fireopal

    fireopal New Member

    Yes, I too feel the loneliness and isolation. I have family across town getting together, but I know that if I want to have dinner with them tomorrow I need to stay home today. It's also difficult to see all the neighborhood out enjoying the nice weather of springtime while I'm stuck inside. Because of nerve pain, it's difficult to even wear proper 'outside' clothes, so when I do go out it's for short periods of time and you just want to get back home to rest/relax. Tak e care all and Happy Easter! It does help tho to read all these posts, and if the eyes are up to it to reply once and a while.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/15/2006]
  8. poodlemommy

    poodlemommy New Member

    I felt that way a few years ago but I decided this year to push myself to get out. I was isolating and thats was not good for me. So inspite of my pain and fatigue I made plans with friends and got out of the house. Now Im so busy Im hardly home. Im having a really good time. I actually feel better too because Im sitting around which makes my muscles stiffen. Im better to keep moving. I had to force myself out the door though at first but not now.
    hugs poodlemum
  9. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Infeel lonely a lot. Why do we come to the board all the time. Because it is one place we can talk.

    This illness makes us lonely in many different ways.

    Love Anne C
  10. jess

    jess New Member

    I am very lonely too. My husband works long hours and has 3 jobs just to pay bills since I can't help him. My kids are grown and have their own lives. I hardly see my 2 year old grandson and when I do it leaves me so exhausted I am no good for anything for almost a week. I think the most difficult aspect for me is that my kids don't understand.They think I am just exaggerating my illness. My son says I should be active and I would feel better. I just can't do this. I have gotten worse the last 2 years and it's just too difficult to do much. Thanks everyone for an opportunity to vent. It really helps to know that people on this board understand our situation. Jess
  11. spacee

    spacee Member

    The man who is working on our house, is also working on the house next door. The people asked him if I had any friends. hahaha He "covered" for me. He told them that I just had a few friends but I was very close to the ones I do have.

    I live in Florida and I have a friend in North Carolina, New York and a twin in Virginia. That is all I have.

    I don't feel lonely right now but I have felt terribly lonely in the past. I even changed churches (Catholic) because they have a mass everyday. Therefore, if I want to at least see other people I can go to it.

    I, also am able to go to yoga classes which I feel very blessed to be able to do. There were many years that I could not do that.

    Other than that I rent netflix movies, read books as tolerated and watch some tv. The days seem to fly by. Like I said, It hasn't always been this way so I am grateful.

    Hugs, Spacee
  12. I am trying to figure out why I am so lonely also.I feel aliennated at work and with my kids sometimes.I know no one understands,I have isssues at work that my boss keeps on telling me to come too him, but am so scared to talk too people because the anxiety.I need to be in a good frame of mind before I can articulate my feelings and if I percieve something negative I start crying easily.Ruthie
  13. intensemom

    intensemom New Member

    I am lonely too. Sometimes I think that I would have more friends except I just don't have the energy for more relationships! Does anyone else feel that way? it just takes a lot out of you?

    Just wondering!
  14. caroleye

    caroleye New Member

    At the beginning of my illness (25+years ago), I fought to have relationships, but over time I lost the energy & motivation to keep it up. If it wasn't for therapy, doubt that our husband & I would've made it as he "loves" to talk, talk, talk morning & night.

    I've become much more "quiet", and even talking wears me out. So we have a zillion rules on how we can continue living together.

    I can communicate with my 8 lb maltese, and yesterday I made it to the garden & found myself making all these weird noises back & forth to the several birds in our trees. Hawks, crows, that was "fun" for me.
    But have always been an animal/creature lover ever since I was young, so this is coming back to me.

    Last night my husband decided I NEEDED to go to dinner. We went as early as possible so I wouldn't "crash". Fine until 30 minutes into dinner, all these "humans" with their various fragrances, voice pitches, etc. came rushing in. I felt totally overwhelmed from their energy. And left saying " it's a zoo; it's a zoo" husband was quite embarrassed, but I couldn't wait to crawl back into my safe, quiet space.

    But, yes, there are those "lonely" times; just had many years to only want to communicate with another species. ha!

  15. Very often I am so lonely. Even though I am married, this dd has made me feel so lonely and isolated. I sometimes wonder what I ever did when I didn't have my computer. Over the years I have lost touch with friends , the few I did have. Sometimes I manage to just go to the store for a short time just to get out. So Sadly, I guess alot of us are in the same boat. And when we post and no ones answers and the post goes to the next pages it feels doubly lonely, but this is a busy board.
  16. musikmaker

    musikmaker New Member

    I am at the point where relationships are to hard and take to much energy. I retired early just 2 weeks ago and have not left my property since I came home that last day. I have only talked with my partner and am greatful for the silence and calmness. I am much like others who posted in that crowds, the energy they put out, the noise, are at times unbearable for me. Now that I have left the workplace I know I will loose contact with many beloved friends as I no longer have the energy to maintain friendships.
  17. smiffy79

    smiffy79 New Member

    so what if we have pain or are foggy from time to time but we are still a creative, funny, witty, group of loons and we can still carve out something in life just for us.

    sit and think, what makes you tick? i have an fm friend who loves making cards and sells them to friends and family - if she wanted to she could make that grow but she likes it on a small scale.

    i as many of you know am very into my dogs. welfare, rescue and foster then working with ppl to help them train their deaf dogs to my study and aim for my own training group.

    it can be done, find what it is that grips you and build on it. you dont have to think business to start. think small and build on it, thats what i did.

    do you know what i think is worse than being trapped in a house? its being trapped in your mind with nothing for you and no one to share it with.

    find something for you and the ppl to share it with will come, plus the added bonus of getting out the house ;)
  18. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    sorry I didn"t get back on before now, we had storms and the internet was out until just now. I think we're all at different levels wth this D.D.. my heart goes out to the ones who are in bed most of the time . I can still get up and move around the house. but can"t do much because of the dizziness and fatique. my visions is not real good and I tired quite fast when trying to read. i used to love to read, you know I do force myself to do things all the time AS I"m sure all of you do, but when you go in a store and have to sit down just from walking in from the parking lot its pretty discouraging. also I live in a rural area and there is no public transportation. I don"t see a car or hear a human voice until my husband comes home from work its a very long day.I do have a golf cart that if my husband gets it out I can go down and check on the horses. and I always take my cell phone with me in cause I get in trouble our mail box is a 1/4 of a mile from our house so now that its nice weather I can go up and get it. I just think with the world the way it is people just don"t take time to be neighbors like we used to be. I had friends when I came down with this but they all work and our in the business world and I"m just alittle slow for that group anymore. then I tryed at church but if you can"t volunteer for all the different jobs your just not included.But you guys know all of this.its alittle hard to be active when you have to sit on a bench just to take your shower.but so glad for this board.well its starting a new week and that means I"ll be house bound for five more days until my husband can be home on the week-end. and I thank God I have him. talk to all later. hugs sixtyslady
  19. NashCag

    NashCag New Member

    That's what we are. It breaks my heart to know so many of us feel this pain. I often wonder what will become of me, and I haven't figured that out yet. I've had this illness for 7 years now, and have lost my friends, and as of yet, have know way to make knew ones. It's hard, it's scary, but
    one bright spot is the people i meet here.
    You are not alone in this..ever
  20. intensemom

    intensemom New Member

    I feel that I have to pretend I'm okay and that everything is normal. And that takes a lot of energy to pretend your something you're not. It's hard to make small talk when your feeling sick and in pain and exhausted!

    I am going to meet a friend for coffee tomorrow. I will tell her a little about what's going on with my health; but will hold back much. Other people just don't understand what it's like living from day to day with this DD.

    But sometimes I think about starting a support group and I'm scared that it would just be place to gather and complain. I'm not sure that would be productive.

    Thanks for listening....HUGS to you all!